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"I lived to be 60 years old, and I only understood the truth of marriage after I got divorced, and now I will tell you"

author:Enjoyable

In the eyes of many people, it seems that women are born to play the role of good wives and mothers, which has almost become a social consensus. However, this role is often accompanied by self-sacrifice, and women often have to give up their interests, dreams, and even career advancement while pursuing family harmony. I was no exception, and I used to be trapped in such roles, until one day I began to reflect on how deeply this traditional role affects women's self-worth.

I remember when I first got married, I was so excited to take on my new role. Busy with household chores and taking care of my husband and children every day, I dedicate almost all of my time and energy to the family. At that time, I always felt that as long as the family was harmonious, no matter how hard I worked, it was worth it. But as time passed, I began to feel an unspeakable sense of loss. In the dead of night, when my children and husband were asleep, I sat alone on the sofa in the living room, looking at the starry sky outside the window, and I couldn't help but feel an inexplicable sense of emptiness in my heart.

"I lived to be 60 years old, and I only understood the truth of marriage after I got divorced, and now I will tell you"

I began to realize that I seemed to have lost myself unconsciously. My life revolves entirely around my family, and my interests, hobbies, and even personal space have become insignificant. I used to love painting, but since I became a housewife, I haven't picked up a paintbrush for a long time; I dreamed of traveling the world, but the reality was that it was hard to arrange even a short trip. My life seems to be fixed in a small circle, and this circle is my home.

This state made me feel suffocated, and I began to wonder, is this really the life I want? I started trying to find myself and pick up the interests and hobbies that I had neglected. I signed up for a painting class, and I felt more fulfilled and happy than ever before, even though I had to arrange my family affairs every time I had a class. I also started to try to communicate with my husband and express that I wanted to have more personal space and time. Although he was a little puzzled at first, he gradually understood and supported me at my insistence.

"I lived to be 60 years old, and I only understood the truth of marriage after I got divorced, and now I will tell you"

In the process, I have come to realize that women should not be defined as just good wives and mothers. We also have the right to pursue our own self-worth and the freedom to realize our personal dreams. Family is important, but we can't sacrifice all of ourselves because of it. We need to find a balance between family and the individual so that we can truly realize our self-worth and live our lives to the fullest.

Of course, this does not mean that we have to completely abandon traditional roles, but rather find a place between tradition and modernity. We can be good wives and mothers, but at the same time we can be independent individuals. We can play an important role in the family, but at the same time, we must constantly pursue personal growth and development. Only in this way can we find true happiness and fulfillment in our marriage.

My experience has made me deeply aware that the role of women in marriage should not be a constraint, but a choice. We can choose to be good wives and mothers, or we can choose to pursue our careers and dreams. The key is that we are aware of our worth and be brave enough to pursue the life we want. Only in this way can we find our true selves in marriage and live a more colorful life.

"I lived to be 60 years old, and I only understood the truth of marriage after I got divorced, and now I will tell you"

Marriage, for many people, is a journey full of sweetness and challenges. However, for me, this 36-year journey has been a thorny road. I used to think that patience and dedication were the only way to maintain my marriage, but as the years passed, I gradually understood that this unequal contribution did not get me the respect and reward I deserved.

In retrospect, the seeds of inequality in marriage were planted from the beginning. I was the bride who said "I do" at the wedding with joy and a vision for the future. But as time went on, I found myself in the relationship, losing myself. I do almost everything in the family, from taking care of the children to taking care of the house, to supporting my husband's career development. However, my efforts always seem to be taken for granted, and even at some point, slighted and ignored.

In marriage, I often feel that my opinions and needs are marginalized. Whenever there is an important decision in the family, my voice is always ignored and my husband's decision is always in the driver's seat. I have tried to express my frustrations and expectations, but often all I have met with is more silence and incomprehension. This chronic inequality and lack of recognition has left me feeling deeply powerless and frustrated.

"I lived to be 60 years old, and I only understood the truth of marriage after I got divorced, and now I will tell you"

As my children get older, I start to have more time and energy to reflect on my life. I realized that I couldn't go on like this, that I needed to regain my worth and dignity. I started trying to get out of the house, get involved in the community, make new friends, and even pick up a hobby from my youth. These attempts have made me feel more free and happy than ever before.

However, when I began to seek change, my marriage faced even greater challenges. My husband was full of doubts and dissatisfaction with my new life, and the contradictions and conflicts between us became more and more intense. I felt trapped in a cage where I couldn't breathe, and every day felt like I was struggling in endless darkness.

Eventually, I made a difficult decision – divorce. This decision was not a spur of the moment, but the result of careful consideration. I knew that this would mean that I would face many unknown challenges, but I also knew that if I didn't make changes, my life would always be unequal and oppressive.

The process of divorce is not easy, and it comes with pain, struggle, and even misunderstandings and accusations from the outside world. But over time, I found myself stronger and more independent. I began to redefine my life and pursue my dreams and values. Although the future is full of uncertainties, I believe that as long as I take this courageous step, I will be able to find my own happiness and fulfillment.

This experience made me realize that equality and respect in marriage are important factors in maintaining relationships. Everyone should find their place in marriage and make their voice heard. If there is a state of inequality for a long time, we have the right to seek change, or even end the relationship. Because, each of us deserves to be respected and to have an equal and happy marriage.

In the long river of marriage, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is often regarded as an insurmountable hurdle. In the article, the author profoundly depicts the conflicts between his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law that he encountered in this 36-year marriage, as well as the unfair attitude of her husband in dealing with these conflicts. The husband's "mom-bao" behavior, as well as his blind support for his mother, not only did not alleviate the conflict, but only exacerbated the inequality and conflict in the marriage.

I remember when I first got married, I walked into this new home with great longing, hoping to create a warm family with my husband. However, the reality is far more complicated than I thought. The strength of my mother-in-law and the dependence of my husband made me feel as if I was an outsider. Whenever I had a disagreement with my mother-in-law, my husband always stood on my mother-in-law's side without thinking, and his "mother-in-law" behavior made me feel deeply powerless and frustrated.

In the family, the husband is supposed to be the mediator of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship, but in our marriage, he has become the mother-in-law's echo worm. Whenever my mother-in-law and I have a conflict over lifestyle habits or parenting philosophy, my husband always supports my mother-in-law unconditionally, and even in some situations where it is obvious that my mother-in-law is wrong, he will choose to remain silent or defend my mother-in-law. This unfair attitude made me feel that I was not getting the respect and support I deserved in this family.

Over time, this inequality and conflict gradually accumulated, and I felt that every step in my marriage was extremely difficult. I began to wonder if this marriage was really right for me and if I could still find happiness in this environment. I try to communicate with my husband to express my feelings and expectations, hoping that he will understand my situation and work with me to improve the relationship between my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. However, the results of communication are often unsatisfactory, and my husband does not seem to be willing to change his attitude for my sake.

Under such circumstances, I began to think about my future. I knew that I needed more than just a husband, but also a partner who could stand by my side and face life's challenges together. If my husband doesn't give me the support and respect I deserve, then this marriage may not be the best choice for me.

I started trying to find solutions to my problems, reading books and attending marriage counselling classes in the hope of finding ways to improve the relationship between my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and my husband and wife. I also began to pay more attention to my own needs and feelings, and learned to stand my ground in the face of contradictions. Although the process is full of challenges, I believe that only by facing the problem bravely can we truly find a solution to the problem.

In the process, I also came to realize that equality and respect in marriage are very important. Everyone should find their place in marriage and make their voice heard. If there is a state of inequality for a long time, we have the right to seek change, or even end the relationship. Because, each of us deserves to be respected and to have an equal and happy marriage.

After a seemingly calm dinner, my daughter and I sat on the sofa in the living room, the moonlight outside the window spilling into the cozy cabin. My daughter broke the silence suddenly, and I was surprised by the maturity and understanding in her eyes.

"Mom, you and Dad don't seem to be happy lately, do you?" My daughter's tone was calm, but every word hit me hard.

I took a deep breath and didn't know how to answer. I thought that we, as parents, would always be able to hide our emotions well and protect our children from family conflicts. But my daughter's question made me realize that children are far more perceptive than we thought.

"Well, we've had some problems lately..." I hesitated, trying to explain it to her in the gentlest way possible.

My daughter held my hand and her warmth gave me courage. "Mom, I think you should know that I grew up and I could feel the atmosphere at home. I can see the problem between you and Dad. "

I was touched by my daughter's maturity, but at the same time I felt a little guilty. I shouldn't have let her go through this. "I'm sorry, baby, I... We don't want you to worry. "

The daughter shook her head, her eyes determined. "Mom, you don't need to apologize. I just want you to know that I have your back no matter what decision you make. "

At that moment, I felt a release that I had never felt before. My daughter's support and understanding gave me the courage to face problems. I know that I am no longer fighting alone, I have a strong backing.

"Baby, what would you think if I said I thought about divorce?" I asked cautiously, for fear of hurting her.

The daughter was silent for a while, and then said seriously, "Mom, I just want you to be happy." If you think divorce can make you happier, then I'm for you. "

My daughter's words warmed my heart like a warm current. I hugged her tightly and thanked her for her understanding and support. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but with my daughter's encouragement, I felt like I had the strength to move forward.

The conversation that night made me deeply aware that children have their own unique insight and understanding of their parents' marital status. They are able to feel tension and disharmony in the family, and they also want their parents to be happy. My daughter's support was one of the important factors in my decision to divorce. I know that no matter how difficult the road ahead is, with the company and understanding of my daughter, I can go on bravely.

In the long history of marriage, we often hear the view that marriage is a partnership between two people, which requires the joint efforts and support of both parties. However, the reality is often not so simple. In many cases, women do not have an equal position in marriage, and they are often seen as appendages to men rather than equal partners. Such a concept not only restricts the development of women, but also weakens the meaning of marriage itself.

The article concludes by emphasizing the importance of equality in marriage. The author is convinced that women should remain independent in marriage, not only financially, but also personally. The economic base determines the superstructure, and if a woman can be financially self-sufficient, she will have more say and choice in marriage. She doesn't have to be aggrieved by financial problems, and she doesn't have to choose to remain silent in the face of injustice.

At the same time, the author also believes that women's independence in marriage is a kind of personality independence. She should have her own ideas and pursuits, and have the right to express her opinions and needs. In marriage, she is not anyone's vassal, but an independent individual with flesh and blood, thoughts and emotions. She deserves to be respected, understood, and supported.

However, achieving such equality and independence is not an easy task. It requires the efforts of women themselves, and more importantly, the support and recognition of the social environment. Women need to constantly improve their abilities and enhance their competitiveness to ensure that they can remain independent in marriage. At the same time, society should also provide more development opportunities and safeguards for women, so that they can truly achieve equality and independence in marriage.

Through in-depth discussion and analysis, the article allows us to see the importance of equality and independence in marriage. It reminds us that marriage is not a bondage, but a mutual support and growth of two independent individuals. Women should have their own space and freedom in marriage, and their independence not only contributes to their own development, but also to the harmony and stability of marriage.

In conclusion, marriage is a long-distance run that requires both parties to work together, not a sprint at the expense of oneself. Women are independent in marriage, not only to be responsible for themselves, but also to respect marriage. Let's work together to achieve equality in marriage and women's independence.