The less fortunate spend their whole life healing childhood
As a child, Su Shiding was left to live at her grandmother's house.
Both parents work in the city and are busy.
In order to give Su Shiding a better life, his father desperately went to the theater troupe in the city to take the exam.
In the winter, my father practiced playing, and it was snowing outside, and my father's bench legs were already submerged in the snow, but he still had no intention of stopping.
I finally got admitted to the provincial orchestra, and my life finally settled down.
Before going to elementary school, Su Shiding was taken to her parents.
Originally, she was excited, but when she arrived at her new home, she found that her parents' relationship was not good, and she had a small quarrel for three days and a big quarrel for five days.
When Su Shiding was 6 years old, she saw her mother commit suicide and foam at the mouth.
The father rushed to the hospital with his mother in his arms, and she chased after her alone, and the slippers flew away but she couldn't catch up.
Fortunately, the rescue was timely, and the mother picked up a life.
After the mother recovered, they divorced.
Su Shiding followed her father.
Within a month, my father married a woman with heavy makeup.
The stepmother brought a son who was 9 years older than herself.
She is a woman who does not know how to educate at all, her son steals, she aids in abuse, and even asks Su Shiding to cover up.
The stepmother's son took Xiao Su Shiding to squeeze the bus, and taking the child will always make people let down their guard, and find a suitable time to take away the wallet in someone else's bag.
Su Shiding was tormented in her heart.
She has 7.5 pocket money a week, which is the money her father gives her for breakfast, and she could have spent 1.5 a day to eat xiaolongbao and drink soy milk, and go to school with a full meal.
But after her stepmother came, she would take five yuan from Su Shiding's hand, two yuan and five yuan a week, and sometimes she could only go to school hungry.
The stepmother is sanctimonious, and the father is not completely two faces.
Su Shiding still chose to be patient.
Because no one believed what she said.
When he arrived at school, Su Shiding did not find heaven either.
The child in the countryside inevitably has low self-esteem, and she does not dare to speak, for fear that her not fluent Mandarin will be ridiculed.
The more this is the case, the easier it is to be bullied.
One day, a boy blocked Su Shiding, looked her up and down, and then spat at her.
When she returned home dirty, she cried because she felt humiliated.
Su Shiding was angry, but did not have the courage to resist.
The unfamiliar environment and not very happy family made her have no confidence to protect herself, and the first choice she chose when she encountered things was patience.
Su Shiding has lived in such a day for 7 years.
It wasn't until the divorce of his father and stepmother that it ended.
The father returned to singleness, and the mother also came back from working abroad, and the two decided to reorganize the family for Su Shiding, but they made it very clear: we have no feelings, everything is only for the children.
The biological parents returned to their side, but Su Shiding's dream of a beautiful family was completely shattered.
Parents are cold and violent all year round.
Father told Su Shiding: I am raising you, and your mother doesn't do anything.
Mom told Su Shiding: Me and your dad, you have to be independent as soon as possible.
"We're all for you."
A childhood of fear was exchanged for a repressed adolescence.
Fortunately, Su Shiding lived up to himself and was successfully admitted to his ideal school, Xi'an Conservatory of Music.
Su Shiding University studied under Peng Yuandi and obtained a postgraduate degree.
After graduating from university, Su Shiding stayed at the school to teach and became a vocal teacher of pop singing at Xi'an Conservatory of Music.
In 2011, at the age of 23, she participated in the "China Music Golden Bell Award Pop Music Competition" and won the bronze award and the best music performance award in the women's group.
Since then, Su Shiding has become a singer.
In 2014, Su Shiding, who has always been passionate about music, came to the scene for the audition of the music competition program "Chinese Good Songs".
In the blind audition stage, Su Shiding sang an original song "Lonely Forest" and successfully entered the Yang Kun group.
From bass to treble, Sushideen's voice is more than 8 heights.
The sense of storytelling, gorgeous treble, and a rare sense of gloom.
Some people commented on her singing: like a black bear trapped in the dark screaming in despair.
The lyrics of this song she marked her original name "Sultan", perhaps for her this is a new beginning.
The name of a musical talent was out.
The following year, the suspense TV series "He's Coming, Please Close Your Eyes" was broadcast, and Su Shiding sang the theme song "Addicted to You".
Su Shiding's musical path can be divided into two parts, one is the TV series OST, and the other is the competition.
She was sharp on the competitive stage, and she came slowly after the TV series.
In 2016, her edge was fully revealed.
participated in "The Battle of Nature", and in the second issue, he defeated his former mentor Yang Kun with a song "Happy Sorrow", and cooperated with Hua Chenyu in "Nanping Evening Bell".
Beat the test all the way and win the championship.
Su Shiding's fame began.
transformed from a teacher at the conservatory to a popular singer.
In 2018, Su Shiding ushered in the peak of her career and was invited to participate in "I Am a Singer".
Although the "singer" is no longer as popular as it was back then, standing on the stage has the opportunity to be known by more people.
She stood on the stage and competed with Hua Chenyu, Wang Feng, Zhou Shen and others.
In the first kicking match, she chose a song by her idol Faye Wong's "Goodbye Firefly".
Finished in third place.
She completed a total of seven performances on stage: "Red Eyes", "Breaking Away", "Thief", ......
Each song is illusory and even somewhat neurotic, with gloom being her main style.
Even in her singing, it is difficult to understand what she is singing, probably to feel a kind of atmosphere.
From her singing, it always feels as if she is trapped in a translucent elastic ball, and every time she makes a sound, the sphere will deform, but she has never escaped.
Li Yuchun said that a small body hides a lot of energy.
She is not only singing when she performs, but also performing, with musical-like rich arrangements, and emotional changes like a roller coaster, bringing the audience into the world of music.
Su Shiding is hearty in the music.
In the song, she is her true self, she doesn't need to please anyone, she doesn't need to be patient, she just needs to be infinitely presumptuous.
That year, she released the album "Dream Disease".
There is always something in her songs that she doesn't know what she is expressing, and every time she listens to it, she can feel that sadness infinitely.
Like her childhood, like her love.
She and Lu Ge met in a musical, she is a singer, and Lu Ge is a director.
After the musical, Lu Ge turned off all the lights in the theater, walked up to Su Shiding and led her to dance.
Her body did not resist, but coveted the faint smell of grass on the other party's body.
That was when Su Shiding's heart was first excited.
Su Shiding worked as a teacher in Xi'an, and Lu Ge did not hesitate to give up his home in Shanghai.
The two ended up in a different place.
Later, the work was adjusted, and Su Shiding resigned from his job in Xi'an and came to Shanghai.
As soon as he arrived in Shanghai, Lu Ge handed over his salary card to Su Shiding, giving Su Shiding a sense of security.
Su Shiding thought that this was the family warmth she wanted, and got married after two years of love.
After marriage, conflicts arose.
Su Shiding's friends often laughed at Lu Ge, thinking that he was not worthy of Su Shiding, and directly ridiculed him for dressing like a bum.
Whenever this happens, Su Shiding will smile awkwardly, and he has never defended Lu Ge once.
In Su Shiding's world, currying favor and forbearance have become the main theme.
She didn't dare to get into conflict with anyone.
And all this became a scar in Lu Ge's heart.
Lu Ge couldn't understand Su Shiding's inner fear and escape.
Married for four years, both depressed.
Su Shiding longs for redemption, Lu Ge is a child with a very happy family, he tries his best to give Su Shiding warmth, but he has never been able to really touch the darkest place in her heart.
The two men became more and more powerless.
Before the divorce, they were separated for a long time, and each was busy with work.
One day they all came to Shanghai to perform, but they didn't see each other, Su Shiding called Lu Ge and asked if they wanted to meet.
Su Shiding asked him: Don't you need me?
Lu Ge said: You don't need me anymore.
The two men cried on the phone, and neither of them stayed.
Su Shiding said that their relationship is unsolvable.
She longs for light, but finds that getting too close to the sun will burn.
They participated in the divorce variety show "Goodbye Lover", and every communication would be broken.
In the show, they have a self-portrait session, Su Shiding paints himself, and Lu Ge also paints Su Shiding.
In Lu Ge's writing, Su Shiding is sunny, happy, and gentle.
In Su Shiding's own pen, she is old, gloomy, and her eyes are bottomless.
Lu Ge said that he never really seemed to know Su Shiding.
In "This Killer Is Not Too Cold", Martinda asks Leon:
Is life always so painful? Or was it only when I was a kid?
Leon replied to her: Always.
When you are young, you may feel that there is an answer to everything, and when you are old, you may find that there may not be an answer in life.
As Su Shiding said, she is 37 years old and spends all her time healing.
There are many things that have no answers, but fortunately, she still has music as an outlet