There is such a sentence in the book "Human Nature", which is particularly heart-wrenching:
"When you reach middle age, don't get too close to your brothers and sisters, otherwise you will only add to your own blockage."
At first glance, this sentence seems a little impersonal, can't people have frequent contact with their brothers and sisters when they reach middle age?
In fact, if we think about it carefully, this sentence is quite reasonable.
Because whether it's relatives or friends, sometimes getting too close can be a disaster.
Source: Visual China
Too frequent interactions, touching interests, adding blockage
As the old saying goes, "Brothers and sisters don't share wealth, but they don't share money." ”
There is a fast-food restaurant near our house, and every time I go to eat at this fast-food restaurant, I can hear the proprietress of the fast-food restaurant muttering about her sister.
said that his sister's family came to the store to eat, but they never paid, and they ate and drank for nothing for several years.
Later, the word reached her sister's ears, and her sister has not eaten a meal at the fast food restaurant since.
Let's analyze this matter, my sister's approach is indeed inappropriate.
You must know that brothers and sisters have their own families, and they must not always feel embarrassed by their own interests alone. You can't just think about taking advantage of others everywhere because your life is in dire straits.
Some people conclude that the reason for the severance of contact between siblings is actually very simple -
Those who have been suffering losses do not want to suffer any more; And those who have been taking advantage of it can't take advantage of it, and gradually, they no longer come and go.
Many times, human nature cannot withstand the test of interests, and many feelings are difficult to cross the threshold of money.
In the face of money, too many feelings will be broken as soon as they are knocked out, and it is better to count them separately from the beginning.
Therefore, when people reach middle age, brothers and sisters get too close, and once interests are involved, they often add blockages to themselves.
What we have to do is to maintain a certain degree of proportion and distance, and more importantly, to be able to carry money clearly.
Without financial entanglements, siblings will get along more comfortably and more harmoniously for a long time.
Source: Visual China
The gap is large, resulting in a comparison mentality
"Half of life's troubles come from survival, and half from jealousy."
When I was a child, my brothers and sisters loved each other and lived a carefree life, which was fine.
But when they grow up and have their own families, the relationship between siblings seems to become more and more distant.
Sometimes, because of the disparity in living conditions and the psychology of comparison, it is not uncommon for siblings to be incompatible with each other.
In fact, there are many such things in real life, which is not unusual at all.
My former neighbor, Mrs. Lin, has two sons, and the eldest son's family conditions are very good.
Every time the eldest son came to visit Mrs. Lin, he drove a luxury car, and the food and drink to honor Mrs. Lin were the best.
On the other hand, the youngest son does not want to forge ahead, he works here and helps there, but he has not been stable, and his living conditions are incomparable with the eldest brother's family.
The palms and backs of her hands are full of meat, and Mrs. Lin feels very sorry for her younger son, so she often tells her eldest son to help her younger brother more.
But the younger brother is not satisfied, and always thinks that the elder brother has helped him too little, and often says cool things to sarcastically mock his brother and sister-in-law.
Although the two brothers had a very good relationship when they were children, they grew up together and went to school together.
But the subsequent life experiences were very different, which led to the younger brother's psychological imbalance and jealousy that his brother was better off than himself. In the end, the two became strangers.
I don't know if you've heard this sentence:
"I really want you to do well, but don't do better than me."
"I hope you are doing well" represents goodwill; "Don't be better than me" is a kind of jealousy, or a kind of unhappiness.
This kind of "unsettled" is called "peer pressure" by a scientific name.
To put it simply, if people who have been in the same circle and have similar backgrounds have achieved success in the fields we are particularly concerned about, and they do not have enough ability to catch up, it is easy to feel jealous or inferior.
Therefore, when people reach middle age, keep a certain distance from their brothers and sisters, but have a greater sense of intimacy, especially when the material conditions between you are too different, try not to interact frequently.
Source: Visual China
Get along unconsciously, without a sense of proportion
Writer Zhou Guoping said:
"A sense of proportion is a sign of mature love, which knows how to observe the necessary distance between people."
In the TV series "Home of the Heart", Gu Qingyu finally caused a tragedy because he did not handle the relationship between himself and his younger brother.
In Gu Qingyu's cognition, she is Gu Lei's sister, and it is normal to take care of and educate her younger brother.
But she forgot that Gu Lei had already married and had a small family of his own, and always meddling in other people's family affairs was a kind of crossing the line.
She often told her brother to beware of his brother-in-law, and even gossiped about her brother-in-law in front of others.
Over time, her brother-in-law Feng Xiaoqin accumulated a lot of resentment, and her marriage with Gu Lei was also a piece of chicken feathers.
After Feng Xiaoqin heard Gu Qingyu's "pouting inside and out" again, she slammed the door in a rage, Gu Lei hurriedly chased him out, but unfortunately accidentally fell and died.
Gu Lei's death completely intensified the contradiction between the two, and Feng Xiaoqin roared at Gu Qingyu:
"We don't need you to point fingers here, Gu Lei's death is because of you!"
I've heard a quote like this:
"It's a disaster to get too close to anyone. Life is like a ruler, and there must be a degree. ”
If you want to have a strong relationship with your siblings, you must not rely on blood relations to be too close, let alone unscrupulously invade each other's lives.
You must know that the best relationship is actually a degree of intimacy, never get tired of seeing each other, and not get tired for a long time, so that you can care for each other.
The writer Tranquility said: "The flowers can't forget the warmth of spring, and the leaves can't take away the relatives of the same root." ”
Source: Visual China
Yes, half a lifetime of parental kindness, a lifetime of brotherhood, the older we get, the more we understand that brothers and sisters are the greatest wealth left to us by our parents.
No matter how far you go, how old you are, the family affection that is thicker than water is difficult to erase, and it will only become stronger and deeper with age.
How deep is the fate to be brothers and sisters in this life, life is short, and we must grasp the harmonious sibling relationship well;
For brothers and sisters who do not know how to cherish and have no sense of proportion, keep an appropriate distance.
It is enough to do what you should do well, and it is enough to be worthy of your conscience, and don't embarrass yourself.
Author: Yueyu.