Foreword: Life in the world for decades, right and wrong, grievances and grievances always occur inadvertently, if the scale is not well grasped in the world, and it is easy to lead to contradictions, bring bad luck to their own lives, there is a way is "difficult to distinguish from the mouth" to help is not pleased, so there is a saying in the folk known as "busy with three do not help, help bad luck".
Therefore, if we want to live freely, we must understand that there are some favors in real life, and we must not help. Even if others plead with you, you have to know how to refuse politely, not all the favors are helped, others can remember you well, and if you don't do well, you will let yourself fall into the "whirlpool".
(1) Do not help those who violate laws and disciplines
No matter how good the relationship is, it can't help to break the law and discipline. Laws and regulations are the bottom line, and anyone who violates the law will eventually be punished accordingly.
Some people are afraid of face and think that they are just doing a small favor to their so-called friends! With a harmless attitude, he fantasized that it had nothing to do with him. As everyone knows, if you don't know that you are helping, someone with a heart may be taking the method of "borrowing a knife to kill", making yourself an indirect "accomplice".
Or if you know that what you are doing is an act of violating the law and discipline, and instead of stopping it, you pretend not to know what is going on and do not intervene, which is actually equivalent to "covering up the crime". Therefore, it is necessary to be cautious in making friends, and to live in a good tree is also a trip to the avenue.
Therefore, no matter how good the relationship is, if you encounter others doing illegal things, please ask for your help, you must not participate in the help, otherwise if something goes wrong, let alone the relationship, you will get yourself into it if you don't get it right.
(2) Don't help others with family conflicts
As the old saying goes, "it is difficult for a clean official to decide family affairs", it can be said that the logic of spear and shield has its own reason. As an adult must know the truth of this, some people are too extreme, sometimes because of friends of family conflicts confided, will have some views on a certain person, the speaker may only be to say the unhappiness in the heart, at this time as a listener, do not mistakenly think that people are looking for you to confide, in order to let you and another member draw a clear line, people originally intended to pass on their unhappiness to you, so we either listen, or left ear in and right ear out as well, after all, people are a family! After a while, the conflicts between others have long since disappeared, but they have made themselves very embarrassed.
Remember, when a friend encounters a family conflict and asks you to participate in the reconciliation, the best way is to refuse, or take your family to the friend's house and pretend to be a guest, so that it is not possible to have a conflict in person, even if the friend and family have a conflict. You must not mention their family conflicts, just pretend to be casual and continue your enthusiastic and smooth life. If you can't do it, don't think of yourself as a peacemaker, you will only embarrass yourself in the end.
(3) Don't do what you can't do
In real life, many people are overly enthusiastic, and they always take things to themselves, but they don't know that if you help people ten times, maybe people only remember it once, if you don't succeed once, you will turn all your hard work into naught in the minds of others.
Showing one's eyes, being capable, showing off, and being praised is people's vanity, most people in the world have such thoughts, and it's right to help others, but to stop what they can't do, as a bargaining chip to please friends, it will be more than worth the loss! To know that "people must be self-aware" and understand what they can and cannot do? It's not that someone asks you for help and takes everything down without asking anything, this kind of way of dealing with the world will only bring endless torture to your life.
If a friend asks you for help in trouble, beyond your ability, you can directly refuse or ask for help with your friend, so that you can not only get the understanding of your friend, but also win the friendship for a long time!
In other words, as an ordinary person, for many things, not all can be done, only learn to refuse, know how to be grateful, respect others, love yourself, in order to live a better wonderful life!