The biggest contradiction in a family is the conflict between husband and wife.
The family is made up of husband and wife, and every move of the couple is destined to affect the future and future of the family. If the husband and wife are harmonious, there must be a harmonious home. If the husband and wife are not in harmony, the family will be unhappy after all.
This is true not only for families, but also for children. If the couple has a problem and has a conflict, the child will see it in the eyes, which will also affect the child's mind and character formation.
This is the so-called "father's love is the mother's quiet, the mother's quiet is the son's peace, the son's peace is the family's peace, and the family and everything is prosperous." If the father is evil, the mother will suffer, and if the mother is bitter, the son will be afraid, and the son will be afraid of the family, and the family will decline for three generations. ”
The family is not unhappy from the beginning, and the child is not sad from the beginning. The root of all this lies in the husband and wife themselves.
When the husband and wife reach middle age, they still make trouble, indicating that the family will become dark.
1. Husbands and wives are always comparing and blaming, which will lead to the breakdown of the relationship.
There is one word, the seven-year itch. It means that after about 7 years of marriage, the couple will usher in the first relationship crisis. This kind of crisis unfolds with comparisons and accusations.
When you first get married, the man can make money, the woman has a figure, and both parties take what they need, so they can naturally get tired of it for a while. And the process of getting tired is short-lived after all.
As time goes by, men gradually make less money, and women gradually deform, and there will be conflicts between husband and wife, and no one will look at anyone who is not pleasing to the eye. The first seven-year itch appeared.
The husband thinks that it is better to be someone else's wife, gentle and virtuous, and his own wife is not good at anything; The wife thinks that it is better to have someone else's husband, who can make money and has the ability, but her own husband can't do anything.
Basically, everyone has a similar mentality and thoughts. When this kind of psychology and thoughts appear, it is destined that the relationship between husband and wife will become weak, cold, and strange. The accusation after the comparison is the most hurtful.
The first seven-year itch will have comparisons and accusations; The second seven-year itch will be more severe. In this way, how can the family live in peace?
2. Husbands and wives quarrel for the sake of profit, and they will become enemies.
The so-called "the hustle and bustle of the world is all for profit, and the hustle and bustle of the world is for profit." ”
The vast majority of people in the world will come for profit, and they will go for profit. To put it mildly, they will spend time and energy for the sake of profit. To put it more seriously, people die for money, and birds die for food.
Profit is like a combination of angels and demons. The angelic side is that it can make people more motivated to live. The demonic side is that it can twist people's hearts.
A husband and wife, if there is no dispute of interests, then they can still get along. Once they have a dispute over the house, assets, and interests, then they will calculate each other and show no mercy.
As long as we often watch the news, we will find that there are more and more couples who kill each other for the sake of profit, either involving daily struggles or people's lives. Human nature is becoming more and more extreme.
The contradiction of interests is difficult to compromise after all. You don't want to give up your interests, and the other party doesn't want to give up your interests, so you are destined to be the enemy.
3. Husbands and wives playing their own games will accelerate the collapse of the family.
When it comes to middle-aged couples, one word comes to mind, each playing its own game. Since both parties have no feelings and do not want to continue to get along, both men and women have their own private lives and live their own lives.
This kind of "each playing" couple is especially common in big cities. The man knows that his wife has a lover outside; The woman knew that her husband had a mistress outside.
Anyway, they each have their own lovers, and although they still maintain the status of husband and wife, this marriage has long existed in name only. All blatant infidelity is a long-standing indulgence.
Why do these couples prefer to play their own games rather than divorce? First of all, there is the issue of children; Secondly, there is the issue of family property. In both respects, the couple is particularly concerned.
Without parents, they want their children to live in single-parent families. There are no husband and wife who want each other to divide their property. Children and interests are the bridge of modern marriage.
Once there is no bridge between children and interests, then divorce will become the norm. Isn't the frequent divorce of young people at this stage related to this?
Fourth, the divorce of husband and wife will affect the growth of children.
Taking a step back, if the couple really came to the point of divorce, who would be hurt the most? Not men and women, but their children.
No matter what city or region it is, as long as the child grows up in a single-parent family, he must have defects in personality, three views, and personality.
Some children from single-parent families lack the ability to love; Some children from single-parent families lack a certain amount of gentleness; Some children from single-parent families go astray and their lives are ruined.
As the old saying goes, "It is better to demolish ten temples than to destroy a marriage." "The purpose of maintaining a marriage, to be precise, is only one, and that is to give children a good space to grow.
This point can be understood by looking at the "college entrance examination divorce tide" every year. As the child reaches the age of 18 and completes the college entrance examination, the middle-aged couple will go to divorce to minimize the harm suffered by the child.
But I still have to say that divorce is a good thing for couples who have no feelings. But for children who haven't grown up yet, that's a bad thing.
Text/Shushan has deer