"Hurry up and cut my hair short, or we won't give you pocket money!"
Looking at her son Xiaoyong's bangs that almost covered his eyes, he could already tie a little hair, especially after receiving the teacher's "persuasion" call, Sister Wang reprimanded angrily again.
As for the son, he looked indifferent, and even retorted to her: "I'm in the second year of junior high school now, can't I decide for myself whether to keep my hair?" You guys are too authoritarian! ”
Just when she didn't know how to persuade, her husband, who came home from work, didn't say a word, and directly pulled her son to the barber shop downstairs.
In this case, it was until the crowded downstairs, and after pulling with his father and attracting the sideways eyes of the neighbors, the son completely gave up resistance.
When he finally arrived at the barbershop, Xiao Yong, who was also worried about being beaten by his father in public and embarrassed, could only indignantly accept that the barber had cut his long hair, which could be the focus of attention in front of his classmates, under the instructions of his father.
However, from the time he returned home after the haircut, Xiao Yong began a one-sided cold war. When his mother asked him "what kind of food do you want to eat" and "how is he at school today", he was silent.
Every time he came home from school, he stayed alone in the room after eating, even if his father knocked on the door hard, Xiao Yong still chose to ignore it, and he was fighting against his parents without saying a word.
"Isn't it just cutting hair? Don't you even accept this little thing during the rebellious period of youth?", Sister Wang was puzzled. And the husband couldn't figure it out: "We also want to communicate with him, but he doesn't listen!" The rebellious period of adolescence is so terrible that we don't know how to educate him. ”
Next, I will share with you two survey data, maybe you can also understand why adolescent children cut their hair so hard!
The China Education Tracking Survey (CEPS) surveyed a number of junior high schools in Beijing, Shenzhen, Guangzhou, Shanghai and other cities and found that differences in concepts such as hair and dress, coupled with poor communication, are one of the main triggers of conflicts between parents and children.
According to the survey data released by China Youth Daily, the proportion of primary school students concerned about their appearance is about 35%, and the proportion of junior high school students soars to 73.93%, even high school students with heavy academic work can reach more than 65%.
From these two sets of data, it is not difficult to see that children at this stage are particularly concerned about their appearance due to the increase in adolescent hormones, psychological changes, environmental factors, etc. Hairstyle, but what they care about the most, what can show their personality the most, how can they be cut off at will?
However, in summary, children do not want to cut their hair, there may be three hidden reasons, which are often ignored by parents.
First, challenge parental authority.
Developmental psychologist Eric Erickson writes in his book Childhood and Society: "The process of psychological maturity requires constant challenge to authority and self-seeking. ”
For children, deliberately antagonizing their parents and refusing to obey the arrangement to cut their hair is to resist and challenge the authority of their parents when they seek themselves in adolescence.
Under the psychological effects of increased self-awareness and desire to realize self-worth during adolescence, children are more or less reluctant to listen to the arrangements of parents and teachers, which is why many parents wonder "My daughter/son used to be very well-behaved, but adolescence is like a different person".
In the face of this special psychology of children, parents should not "be tough" and use parental authority to persecute. We must learn to "show weakness", patiently listen to the reasons why the child is reluctant to cut his hair, and guide him to understand that the correct way to realize himself and his value is not a superficial "opposite".
Secondly, I have my own aesthetic and am not willing to compromise.
Esthetician Jiang Xun believes: "The level of a person's aesthetic level is directly related to his level of competition. And whether children can have a good life, aesthetic ability is very important. ”
Many parents have lamented that "can't keep up with the aesthetic trend of children now", for the post-05 girls popular two catfish beards cover half of the face, fish bone braids, fashionable boys prefer both sides of the shovel, airplane head, etc., these in the eyes of parents are more mature hairstyles but children's preference.
Although there are some children who deliberately choose special hairstyles to attract the attention of the opposite sex due to increased hormones. But many children are mainly because they have begun to have their own aesthetics, which are different from their parents' aesthetics.
After all, the environment in which the children grow up, the information they receive, etc. It's completely different from when parents were young.
Finally, curiosity and a willingness to try new things.
Professor Li Meijin, an expert in adolescent psychology, said: "In addition to the physiological changes, in addition to the physical changes, children's curiosity becomes extremely strong, second only to the peak of curiosity between 3 and 6 years old. ”
Perhaps, in the eyes of parents, fancy clothes and exaggerated hairstyles are just what children want to be out of curiosity.
For adolescent children, the stronger their curiosity, the more knowledge and abilities they can learn. So, from a certain point of view, this can be called a clarion call for growth, and there is no need to worry too much.
However, in order to ensure that children do not go astray or go too far out of line, parents should pay attention to their children's performance, and communicate and teach them patiently and carefully.
Epilogue:
Professor Li Meijin, an expert in adolescent psychology, said: "Adolescence is about a child's future, and the right education can make a child a better person." "Whether it is hairstyle, clothing or three views, parents should find a suitable and correct education method on the basis of understanding their children's situation and facing their children's youth, and cultivate good aesthetics and conduct with their children to grow together!
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