Today I want to talk about a dark topic, why is it necessary to be a leader, how to scold so that subordinates are not perfunctory or resentful, but will be dead set on the leader and be grateful to Dade?
If you are the leader, take it, no thanks.
If you're a subordinate, see no, feel free.
Why should a leader criticize his subordinates?
Man is actually a very sluggish animal. What he can feel is often not how good you are to him, but how much better "you treat him this time" than "you usually treat him".
In the workplace, although most of the time appreciation and encouragement are promoted. However, blindly appreciating and encouraging will only pull this threshold higher and higher, and over time, it will be difficult for subordinates to feel the gap with the positive encouragement of the leader.
This is also why many good old and good leaders, and the subordinates of the leaders do not buy it very much; On the contrary, those leaders who have always been strict only need a smile and an affirmation when it is critical to make their subordinates grateful and move forward.
Compared with a leader who never criticizes people, a leader who criticizes people can often give employees a greater sense of motivation when they praise and encourage them. Their praise will be more precious and more effective in the hearts of employees. This is called "gap goodwill".
Providing "gap kindness" to make your motivation more effective is the first benefit of the leader to criticize people.
Second, criticism can make subordinates have a greater sense of identity and enthusiasm for the job. Think about it, if the leader has always only rewarded his subordinates, then it is easy for him to base his work enthusiasm on the external condition of your motivation for him. In other words, you encourage, he is positive; If you don't encourage it, he may become less motivated.
Could it be that scolding him will boost his motivation? That's right!
When a subordinate is criticized, in the short term, his motivation to work is reduced due to the loss of external incentives, and he may be depressed. However, few people resign because they are scolded by their boss. In his mind, he would begin to find a reason for himself to continue doing this.
For example, you need to support your family, there is better development here, and so on. At this time, the external motivation disappeared, and the reason he found must be his own inner appeal. In this way, he transformed the basis of his motivation from an external drive to a more stable internal drive.
This mechanism is known in psychology as the theory of "self-consistency", which refers to the fact that people always tend to align their psychology and behavior. Translated into the vernacular, people always want to justify their actions. Criticism and blame from superiors will make employees start to find and confirm their reasons for staying in the job from within.
Those good employees who praise it, if you don't praise it, maybe he will rest. Subordinates with intrinsic motivation will take the initiative to work even without external incentives, and they are more able to take on pressure and challenges.
This is the second benefit of a supervisor who criticizes people compared to a supervisor who never criticizes people.
So, it is necessary to criticize subordinates. However, the severity and frequency of criticism must be well measured.
Don't fall into another misunderstanding: by temperament, you feel that you are a leader, you can criticize as much as you want, and your subordinates have to listen.
What will the truth look like? The criticized subordinates sometimes have a hippie smile, sometimes they hold a grudge, and sometimes they feel that "the leader is just throwing a tantrum, and it's good to pass this while." In short, it did not achieve the effect that the critics wanted.
This is also the pain point of many leaders in the face of criticism of their subordinates: if it is light, it cannot touch the soul, and if it is heavy, it is easy to resist; If you don't lose your temper, your subordinates can't remember, and when you lose your temper, your subordinates think that the leader is just venting.
How should a leader criticize his subordinates?
Criticizing people also has to be strategic, and you can't be too willful if you are a leader, otherwise it will really be ineffective.
To lead critics, we need to pay attention to the following three principles.
First, blame others before yourself.
The reason why criticism is not effective is often because the critic activates the psychological defense mechanism of the critic. You said that he was not good here, and he muttered in his heart, "Then you are not right there", on the surface you trained him like a grandson, but in fact, this grandson has been counting down you in his heart.
Chinese have long discovered a truth, that is, their children cannot teach themselves, they must find a gentleman outside to teach. Why? Because of the way you look at home, your son is clear, you put on a straight face and discipline him with the way of a sage, but he doesn't say it, and thinks in his heart, "Then you are not a sage."
It's the same with leaders training their subordinates. Seriously, if things are messed up, the superiors also have inescapable responsibilities. If you don't clarify your responsibilities first, how can you convince your subordinates?
Here's an example. During the Warring States Period, Sun Wu helped King Wu train his troops and first experimented with palace maids. Isn't it a joke to let the palace maids line up the formation? Sure enough, Sun Wu spoke for a long time, but no one listened to him. What did he do as a leader at this time? He said: "The restraint is unclear, the order is not familiar, and the crime will be punished." That is to say, "Everyone is giggling like this, presumably because I didn't make it clear, and it was my fault as a general." Well, I'll tell you more about it.
This is called blaming others before blaming oneself.
After reiterating the rules and practicing again, the palace maid was still not serious, so Sun Wu said the second sentence: "Those who have understood but are not as good as the law are also guilty of the officials", which is translated into the vernacular, "I have made it clear to you just now, and if you are not obedient now, that is your problem." The captain took the lead and was disobedient, Sun Wu ordered the two captains to be dragged out and cut down, and it was useless for King Wu to come to intercede in person.
That's when criticism is really effective. The leader has already blamed himself and reaffirmed the rules. If the subordinate violates again, the leader criticizes, and if the subordinate is still not satisfied, it is not a matter of criticism, and it is likely to be fired.
Second, the punishment should be clear.
When criticizing people, the most taboo sentence is "see how I clean you up". Do you think that's majestic? It's actually boring. At this time, what is the inner line of the critic: "How to clean me up, you said, you didn't think about it?" That is, it is your personal grudge to clean up me? That means you're very unprofessional. ”
It is true that unpredictable punishment magnifies fear and deepens people's impressions, but people also have the mentality of breaking jars and breaking. If your subordinates feel that it is impossible to gain your trust no matter what, and you will continue to wear small shoes for him no matter what, then your future cooperation will be very difficult. Can you still count on him to be proactive?
Therefore, when criticizing subordinates, be sure to make the scope of punishment clear. How intense, until when, can you get along happily after the punishment is over? To emphasize, it is important to show that you are going to end up after being punished. Because no matter how heavy the punishment is, as long as the crime and punishment are compensated, everyone can accept it, and they can do a good job in the future.
And if you face the endless number of falls, either the jar is broken, or Lao Tzu quits, this is a lose-lose situation.
All the stories of rebellion in "Romance of the Three Kingdoms" have a common plot, that is, the lord did not make it clear that "I will punish you this time, and you will still be a good comrade after the punishment, and everyone will continue to work hard to fight the world together in the future".
All the subordinates who were criticized felt that they had completely lost the trust of the leader, and they would have no head at all in the future, so they would hold grudges and rebel.
Therefore, it is necessary to define the scope of punishment so that the real purpose of criticism can be achieved.
Third, light words are heavy, and heavy words are light.
When criticizing people, it is the hardest to grasp the severity. You feel that you can't bear it anymore, you don't need to bear it anymore, and the other party may not know why you have such a big temper; You think that you don't need to use a hammer to beat the drum, just click a word, and the other party may not really take it seriously.
What to do? There's a trick: the lighter the matter, the heavier your words will be; If it's really serious, you have to take it lightly.
Here's an example. If you find out the three highs (high blood pressure, high blood lipids, and high blood sugar) during the physical examination, the responsible doctor will tell you very seriously: "Be careful", "You can't go on like this", "You will have any disease".
However, if you really find out the terminal disease, the doctor will say more easily: "It's okay", "Don't have a psychological burden", "The treatment of this disease is now very mature", "We have many experts who are very experienced", "You should listen carefully to the doctor's advice".
Why? Because you don't care when things are slight, you have to say things seriously, and when things are serious, you are already scared, so you have to talk lightly.
Let's say you have a subordinate who is often late. Most of the time it doesn't delay anything, but the more this happens, the more serious the problem is, otherwise it won't work.
You can say something like: "Xiao Zhang, lately, there has been a room full of people waiting for you, do you think that the time of the rest of us is not as valuable as yours?" Or do you think this job is not worth taking seriously? "Only when you see a big problem in a small thing can you make the other party wake up.
What if being late really had serious consequences? At this time, if your attitude is softer, the effect will be better. Because it is common sense to be scolded for causing losses, people are already very scared, no matter how hard you scold, it is useless, but to help him release this pressure - "After scolding, this matter is over", and in the end, he cultivated a subordinate who was not afraid of boiling water.
Of course, the punishment should still be punished, but when expressing criticism, the statement should be slightly lighter, and it should be on the facts, not on the line.
You can say something like: "Xiao Zhang, you have seen the loss caused this time, I believe you didn't mean it, I can give you another chance, you really have to work hard in the future to be worthy of everyone who still supports you so much." ”
In this speech, not a word is counting him, but every word is uncomfortable. Expressing trust at this time can make people feel embarrassed.
This practice also has a darker effect. A trivial matter, you scold him to death, in fact, you also tell him: This matter is not small, it is not you who have the final say, I have the final say, and I can see farther than you. This will show a sense of control and establish your authority.
A big event when the sky fell, everyone knew it was very serious, you helped him carry it lightly, not only did not say anything serious, but also comforted him: It's okay, I'm even. This will allow him to worship you and be grateful, and this criticism will allow you to have the most loyal subordinate.
Criticism is not for the sake of scolding, but for the sake of doing a good job. To achieve this, we need to think clearly about how to express critical opinions most effectively.
The above three principles can be put together, first acknowledging your leadership responsibility, then clearly stating what the punishment you are facing, and then depending on whether the situation is to say lightly or lightly. With this combination punch, your criticism is moderate and powerful.