The statements in this article are based on reliable sources and are repeated at the end of this article
What is "grey rape"? Why are so few women speaking out? It's a troubling but unavoidable topic.
In this seemingly civilized and orderly society, an invisible crime is happening silently, and it is the crime known as "gray rape".
Unlike violence, which is commonly understood, this type of crime often occurs in intimate relationships, where the perpetrator takes advantage of the familiar relationship with the victim to forcibly violate the victim in a gentle or non-violent manner, against the victim's will.
What's even more terrifying is that this trauma will stay with the victim for the rest of his life, becoming an incurable shadow, and once he remembers that terrible experience, the fear in the body will be reactivated, triggering a series of physical and psychological reactions that affect normal life.
01
Grey Rape
On the surface, this "gray rape" does not seem to use violence, but in fact it does no less harm to the victim than violent rape.
During the stages of development, the victim will inevitably experience a range of negative emotions, including fear, consternation, and fear. The outpouring of these emotions has a profound psychological impact on the victims, which can lead to significant psychological stress and harm.
Psychologists have conducted in-depth research on victims of "gray rape" and found that during this process, victims often exhibit specific physical and psychological reactions, such as distraction, confusion, syncope, and physical stiffness.
These abnormal reactions stem from the brain's natural release of certain chemicals when faced with extreme fear and stress, which in turn interfere with the normal functioning of the brain.
What's even more terrifying is that this psychological trauma will stay with the victim for the rest of their lives, and when they recall that terrible memory, the fear in their bodies will be reactivated, triggering a series of physical and psychological reactions.
Prolonged stress and fear inevitably affect the victim's prefrontal cortex, which in turn affects the victim's ability to think in a complex manner.
This effect may cause significant impairments in their decision-making, problem solving, and higher cognitive functions such as logical reasoning.
For those who have experienced "grey rape", their future lives may be deeply troubled. These distresses stem not only from the direct trauma caused by the incident itself, but also from the resulting long-term psychological shadows, which will undoubtedly pose a serious threat to their physical and mental health and affect their quality of life.
It is worth noting that, according to statistics, up to 80% of rape cases are committed by acquaintances, and the vast majority of them are "gray rapes" that are not easily detected.
This data reveals that this highly hidden crime is actually happening frequently around us and is little known.
02
Things in reality
Some time ago, a case of workplace sexual harassment in Nantong, Jiangsu Province, attracted widespread attention, in which a company's senior executives pestered a female employee under him, intentionally or unintentionally harassing her at work.
It can be seen from the exposed chat records that the executive was full of erotic words between the lines, trying to induce the bait step by step, and when the female employee refused, he openly threatened to terminate the labor contract, intending to use his authority to exert pressure on her.
In the face of this obscene and shameless act, the woman showed extraordinary courage and resourcefulness, and she exposed the evidence on the Internet, which quickly aroused the enthusiastic attention and condemnation of netizens, and the incident once again aroused the public's attention to sexual harassment in the workplace.
In addition to the workplace, there are also some "gray areas" in life, which also pose a threat to the legitimate rights and interests of women, such as intimate relationships such as boyfriends and girlfriends, lovers, etc., although they are lovers, but if the man compels or coerces the woman, it has already constituted a crime.
Looking back at a representative "engagement rape case" a few years ago, a couple of prospective newlyweds had a disagreement over the payment of the bride price, the woman asked for the remaining bride price, the man not only refused, but also used violence to forcibly violate the woman, and finally, the court sentenced the man to rape in accordance with the law and sentenced him to 3 years in prison.
It can be seen that once a woman is forced to have sexual relations against her will, whether in the workplace or in an intimate relationship, it is already a violation of the law and constitutes the crime of sexual assault.
In real life, the methods of such criminals are obscure and diverse, which brings great difficulties to prevent and crack down. They may use acquaintances and close relationships to get closer; Or mix the Internet, hide your identity and harass.
Some directly use violent means to sexually assault women and children in the streets and alleys, and although the means of behavior are different, they are essentially criminal acts against the will of others.
03
Victim guilt
When such incidents occur, there are often voices of "victim guilt" around the victims, and such unreasonable accusations will only make them more silent.
Questioning the victim's lack of awareness of self-protection, it seems that sexual harassment occurs because the victim is not vigilant and does not protect himself well.
This view undoubtedly places the blame on the victims themselves, which is equivalent to rubbing salt in their wounds and adding to their suffering.
Some people will say, "Why did you dress like that and go out", "You deserve to be drunk", "You don't resist, so you brought it on yourself". These statements are all blaming the victims, without thinking about how immoral and illegal it is to condemn the actions of the perpetrators.
When the victim plucks up the courage to "speak out", these unreasonable accusations will make them feel hurt and helpless, and finally choose to bury the nightmare experience in their hearts and decide to "lose their voice".
If someone had stepped forward to fight the criminals with the victims, they would not have been so isolated.
Sadly, because of the influence of traditional beliefs, we tend to think that sexual harassment in intimate relationships is "not that serious". Victims are often pushed to the forefront and suffer criticism and condemnation from all sides, resulting in "voice" becoming "voiceless".
On the other hand, the current laws on the mainland are still very limited in the definition and punishment of sexual harassment, which to some extent condones the wanton behavior of criminals.
In the face of sexual harassment, we must first learn to protect ourselves, and if we encounter it in public, we must have the courage to resist and shout for help; If you encounter sexual harassment in the workplace, you must resolutely not give in and collect evidence to protect your rights.
At the same time, we also need to re-understand the concept of "consent", consent must be a voluntary and positive affirmation without pressure, the "consent" of minors may not be valid at all, as bystanders, we should stand up for the victims, so that they are no longer isolated.
Only by getting the whole society to pay attention to this issue, promote the awareness of the rule of law, and intensify the crackdown, can we truly stay away from the haze of "gray rape" and live a safe and secure life. When we all learn to stand in solidarity with each other, isn't that sunny future a bright future?
Resources:
[1] Gaocheng Pufa , 2022-05-27: What is "gray rape"? What's so scary about it? Why do so few women speak out?
[2] The Paper, June 22, 2023: April: Flirting or Harassing? Rejecting the "victim guilt theory"