Regarding the love between men and women, the poet Yu Xiuhua once said:
Love in the face of human nature is simply a lie.
Although the words are cruel, they are a heart-piercing reality.
Whether it is love or marriage, there are 2 cruel truths in the relationship between men and women that must be known as soon as possible, and behind them are all the dark side of human nature.
One
Those who give you romantic love are mostly scumbags
Approaching the wedding date, my little colleague Meimei came up with the idea of quitting the marriage, on the grounds that she was not married yet, and she could no longer feel the romance of a man.
All he thinks about every day is to work, earn money, and then how to support his family. It feels like an old husband and wife who have been married for many years, without passion and romance at all. complained about him, and he also said confidently: It's been five years since we fell in love, why do you still pay attention to those showmanship? If there's anything you need to say directly, don't let me guess, bother.
Meimei's stomach was full of resentment, and we were a group of middle-aged women, smiling and laughing at each other without talking. It's still too young, and these superficial things like love and love are so important.
Later, Sister Zhao, who was divorced and single, told her story as a person who came over.
Sister Zhao's ex-husband is a typical warm man and is handsome, so at the beginning of the relationship, Sister Zhao fell in love with this man like a moth to a fire, and quickly got married within three months.
After the flash marriage, the man gave Sister Zhao three months of sweet marriage time, and then when Sister Zhao was pregnant, she cheated during pregnancy.
Sister Zhao said that at that time, I really felt that I had found true love and found the most romantic love. Because he can take care of you in every detail, not only take care of your life, but also take care of your emotions, pick you up and drop you off and work, reluctant to let you dip in cold water during the menstrual period, take care of all the housework of washing and scrubbing, and the New Year's holiday is full of rituals, flowers and candlelight dinners, so that you have been living in the illusory bubble of being pampered.
It wasn't until after the divorce that I gradually understood that his thoughtful, gentle and romantic was just a lot of pickling girls and rich experience, so he was familiar with women's psychology, and then voted for you to maximize his interests in the shortest possible time.
Writer Sanmao said:
If love is not implemented in dressing, eating, sleeping, and counting money, these real lives will not last long.
For the vast majority of men, sweet words and romantic surprises are just the initial stage of love, and love is more of a commitment and responsibility, and a real life effort.
Only those scumbags with a heart will give you romantic, delicate, and illusory love. He can give it to you or give it to someone else at any time.
Two
It is better to be loved than to be exchanged
Writer Su Qin once wrote:
The best way to love someone is to manage yourself well and give each other a high-quality lover. It's not that if you try to be nice to someone, that person will love you desperately. Worldly feelings inevitably have a realistic side: you are valuable, and your contribution is valued.
Friend Zhenzhen, after seven years of marriage, divorce and remarriage, really understood this.
In the first seven years of marriage, due to various practical reasons, Zhenzhen was forced to give up her career and become a full-time mother. For seven full-time years, Zhenzhen not only took care of the housework, the education of the children, but also the negative emotions of men.
That's right, Zhenzhen is the trash can of men's negative emotions. When work doesn't go well and life is in trouble, men will be incompetent and irritable, and then sigh and complain openly and secretly, saying that there is no one who can help them.
The implication is that Zhenzhen feels that she has no money, no value creation, and cannot share a certain amount of life pressure for herself.
Later, after quarreling again over trivial matters, Zhenzhen made up her mind to divorce.
After the divorce, Zhenzhen immediately started working, starting from the hardest nail apprentice, learning little by little, working hard, and finally becoming the manager of a chain nail salon.
In addition to economic gains, career success also brings spiritual self-confidence. Zhenzhen's whole person has become completely different.
And the man, who was also shocked by Zhenzhen's transformation, began to pursue Zhenzhen again, hoping to remarry.
In "Grassroots Women", writer Wang Huiling said:
Love can't stand the polish of reality, love will disappear, and only if each party has the ability to give each other what they want and benefits in marriage, the marriage relationship will last for a long time.
This is the truth of marriage.
Love is never as beautiful and pure as we think, it is more of a combination of reality and reason.
Only by understanding human nature and awakening as soon as possible can we be invincible in our relationships.