Last year, a neighbor forgot to bring the key to my house, and it was the end of the final exam.
The neighbor asked my son how he was doing, and my son said that he was not very good, how many points in mathematics, how many points in Chinese...
The neighbor said, "You have to study hard, this score is not good, your mother didn't beat you."
Then he said that his son scored more than 90 points in the English test this time, and he used to get full marks. When the child came back, she beat the child with a stick, but after asking the teacher, she found out that the English question was too difficult this time, and her child's grades were very good.
She said that she knew that she wouldn't beat her child, and that she did well in the exam, but the question was too difficult this time.
I haven't beaten my child's bad grades, but I'm usually responsible for picking him up, keeping an eye on his homework, how his studies are, and how his study habits are, I know very well in my heart.
For this aspect of learning, I pay more attention to the learning attitude, if he can't teach and learn again, it is a poor learning attitude, then I will seriously criticize him.
Learning is something that needs to be maintained for a long time, but in order for children to keep learning, they must maintain their interest in learning, so I don't want to define his learning by the quality of his grades.
If parents criticize and act because of a bad grade, for the child, he will be nervous when he mentions the exam, and he will think of the consequences of not doing well.
When children have to think about the results first every time they take an exam, their focus is often on what to do if they don't do well in the exam, and it is easy to have test anxiety. If you don't have a good mind during the exam, the exam will also be affected.
After a long time, children will also doubt themselves, whether they are not good at learning at all, whether they are not suitable for learning at all, whether they will not be able to go to university in the future...
Some parents may not do well in the exams and will not beat their children, but they will be "reasonable".
I often tell my children that "academic performance is too important for the future, and only by getting good grades in exams can you be admitted to a good university, find a good job in the future, and work hard without hardship..."
Let the child feel that his grades are not good, and he will achieve nothing in the future, which invisibly puts pressure on the child.
As parents, we might as well jump out and look at the problem, is the child not studying well if he doesn't do well in the exam? Does the child not do well in the exam because he doesn't work hard? What does the child need most right now?
When we think about when our children need it most, our focus returns to how to help them.
If the child usually learns and masters well, but he is not playing well, and he knows that he is not doing well in the exam, and he is very disappointed, then the parents should first calm the child's emotions and tell the child, "I know that you are not satisfied with this score, and I also know that you have put in a lot of effort, if you want, I am happy to talk to you, so that I can help you in the next exam."
If the child has poor study habits and does not have a solid grasp of knowledge, then it is necessary to think about how to improve the child's grades and improve these problems.
For example, read the wrong questions in the test paper with your child, do the wrong questions again, summarize what knowledge points went wrong, and thoroughly understand these knowledge points. Check the paper and find that the child is careless and loses a lot of points, then make a small plan with the child, read the question twice when doing the question, circle the keywords, check the question after doing it, etc., and find a way to help the child.
Even if you find that your child has encountered more problems and there are too many learning habits that need to be adjusted, don't worry, make good plans and goals, accompany your child to complete one item at a time, even if you only cultivate a good study habit during a vacation, it will be progress and improvement for your child.
When encountering problems, parents should carefully consider their children's difficulties, help them solve problems, give positive emotions, and let children become strong people.
As parents, we should make our children feel that their parents are their backing, not "abusers".