I'm Hu Xiaowen and I'm 28 years old. On that sunny afternoon, I wanted to visit my grandmother in the hospital, but I accidentally bumped into a scene that shocked me.
The moment I pushed open the door of the ward, I saw my uncle Li Yong lying on the hospital bed, his shoulders shaking violently, crying like a child.
Second uncle Li Kai sat on the side and patted him lightly on the back. The smell of disinfectant water in the hospital room and the distant birdsong outside the window created a warm atmosphere that contrasted strongly with the scene in front of you.
"Brother, stop crying." The second uncle sighed, his voice was full of helplessness and sympathy, "The things of the year are over, and it's useless to cry now." ”
The eldest uncle raised his head and said with teary eyes: "Brother, I really regret it! If only you had paid a down payment for the voyage like you did. Look at you, how happy you are now. Look at me again, I'm old and I have to worry about where to live. His voice was choked, full of remorse and remorse.
The second uncle shook his head, with a hint of helplessness in his tone: "Who would have thought that? Didn't you do it for the sake of your children at that time? ”
I stood in the doorway, overwhelmed. The air in the hospital room seemed to freeze, my heart raced, and countless questions flashed through my mind: What happened? Why were the later lives of the two uncles so different?
Recalling that when he was a child, his uncle Li Yong always looked serious, and he was a typical northern man.
He speaks loudly, does things vigorously, and speaks everything at home. I still remember his trademark loud laugh, which shook the whole yard at every family gathering.
The second uncle Li Kai is much gentler, always smiling, soft-spoken, and especially taking care of other people's emotions. He often acted as a peacemaker when his uncle was angry, which calmed down the atmosphere.
My two cousins, Li Yuanhang and Li Yangfan, are of the same age and grew up together.
Cousin Voyage has an impatient personality and is in a hurry, but sometimes lacks patience. As a child, he was always the first to run out to play, and he was always the first to break his knee.
Cousin Yangfan is calm and introverted, meticulous and thoughtful, and is very popular with the elders. I remember that he was always patient in teaching me to write my homework, even when I made the same mistake many times.
"Xiaowen, do you remember when your cousin got married?" When the second uncle saw me coming in, he waved at me with a wry smile on his face.
I shook my head, a little embarrassed: "Second uncle, I was still young at that time, so I don't remember much." ”
The eldest uncle wiped away his tears and said with a wry smile: "At that time, Yuanhang and Yangfan were going to get married, and your second uncle and I had a dispute about it." His gaze became profound, as if caught in a memory.
The second uncle took over the conversation: "Yes, your uncle has to buy a house for Yuanhang in full, and what do you say, 'let your son have no worries'." I advised him not to do this, just give a down payment, and let the children do the rest. But he didn't listen. ”
"Am I afraid that the child will be too stressed?" The eldest uncle argued, with a little helplessness in his voice, "How do you know that this purchase will put me and your aunt's pension money into it." ”
It dawned on me that the differences between the two families had started since then. I can't help but think back to that time, and even though I was young, I vaguely remember my family arguing about it.
The eldest uncle continued, his voice low: "After buying the house, your aunt and I moved in with Yuanhang and them. We took care of the housework and took care of our grandchildren, and we thought that the family would be happy. Na Cheng thought......" His voice gradually became smaller, and his eyes were full of loss.
"Uncle, what's wrong?" I couldn't help but ask, a wave of unease welling up in my heart.
The eldest uncle sighed, as if he had aged ten years all of a sudden: "A few days ago, your aunt accidentally spilled soup on the carpet, and your cousin-in-law lost her temper. Later, when he came back from the voyage, he told us that 'the little couple needs their own space' and asked us to move out. ”
I opened my mouth wide in surprise, not knowing what to say for a moment: "This...... That's too much, isn't it? "My heart was filled with anger and incomprehension.
The second uncle shook his head, with a hint of helplessness in his tone: "Actually, you can't blame them all. When a family is together every day, there will inevitably be friction. I'm different from your second mother, we have our own small house, we usually help when we need to, and we go back to our house when we don't need it. They also came to see us often, and we got along very well. ”
I nodded thoughtfully, "I see." So what about the eldest uncle and aunt now? ”
The eldest uncle said helplessly: "What else can I do?" I can only find another house to rent. At this age, I still have to worry about where to live, it's really ......" His voice was full of exhaustion and helplessness.
Looking at the vicissitudes of my uncle's face, I had mixed feelings in my heart. The once high-spirited elders now seem so tired and depressed. Look at the second uncle again, although he is of the same age, he has a ruddy face and is in good spirits. The contrast between the two brothers is so stark that I can't help but think deeply.
"Xiaowen," the second uncle patted me on the shoulder and said earnestly, "You're also at an age where it's time to think about life's work." Remember, family relationships are a science, so treat each other with respect and keep a moderate distance. Your uncle is just too worried about this, but it stiffens the relationship. ”
I nodded, but I thought to myself: this is easy to say, but how easy to do. But I replied, "I see, uncle." That...... How can we help my uncle now? ”
The second uncle pondered for a moment, and a trace of thought flashed in his eyes: "In this way, there is a small apartment for rent next door to my house, why don't you move in first, eldest brother?" It's close to us, so we can take care of everything. ”
The eldest uncle raised his head, and a glimmer of hope flashed in his eyes: "Is it really possible?" That...... That's great. There was finally a hint of relief in his voice.
Looking at the two uncles, I suddenly realized that raising children to prevent old age is not a reliable guarantee. A happy old age requires long-term planning and a balance between family affection and personal space. This realization made me feel a little frustrated, but it also made me understand the complexity of life.
When I left the hospital, the afterglow of the setting sun fell on me, and I secretly made up my mind that I must help my uncle improve his current situation, and at the same time prepare for my future. After all, life is long, and each of us will eventually enter old age. How to find a balance between filial piety and independence is a topic that our generation must face.
As I walked home, my mind kept replaying the daytime scene. I remembered some clips from my childhood, when the two families used to get together and have a good time.
I remember one year during the Spring Festival, our whole family gathered at my uncle's house. On that day, my cousin Yuanhang and my cousin Yangfan set off firecrackers in the yard, and I watched from the sidelines.
Suddenly, an unlit firecracker fell at my feet, I picked it up curiously, and was about to take a closer look, when my uncle rushed over with an arrow, grabbed the firecracker and threw it out.
"Xiaowen! How dangerous this is! "My uncle nervously checked to see if I was hurt, his voice full of concern.
The second uncle came over with a smile and whispered to me, "Xiaowen, although the firecrackers are beautiful, they are very dangerous. Remember to stay away in the future, you know? ”
I nodded, feeling both aggrieved and warm in my heart. At that time, I didn't understand the care of adults, I just thought they were making too much of a fuss.
Now that I think about it, although the eldest uncle and the second uncle at that time had different personalities, their love for their families was the same. It's just that over time, they have chosen different ways to express this love.
The eldest uncle chose to devote himself to buying a house for his son, living with his son, and taking care of his grandson. He poured all his love into this small family and neglected the importance of leaving space for each other.
The second uncle chose to keep a moderate distance, giving his children space for independence, and at the same time reserving a piece of the world for himself. This balance makes their relationship more harmonious.
Thinking of this, I can't help but sigh: love, sometimes not more is better, but just right.
When I got home, I sat down at my desk, opened my journal, and began to record what I had seen and thought today. The tip of the pen wandered across the paper, and my thoughts drifted away.
I remembered the days when I ran to the South to go to college alone. At that time, I also cried because I was homesick, but at the same time I enjoyed my independent life. I learned to make my own decisions and deal with problems, and these experiences have made me grow a lot.
If my parents had been like my uncle and had taken care of everything for me, would I have been able to gain these valuable experiences? I can't help but feel grateful to my parents for giving me enough space to explore the world.
However, I thought of my uncle again. His intentions are undoubtedly good, he just wants the best for his son. However, the best is not always the same as the most. Sometimes, giving the other person a chance to grow is instead a greater love.
I wrote in my journal, "Love, not doting; Independence, not indifference. How to maintain a moderate distance in family affection is an art that requires lifelong learning."
As I wrote this, I suddenly realized that this question is not only about our relationship with our parents, but also about our relationship with our children in the future. Our generation will be both the one to be cared for and the one to be cared for. How do we balance these two roles, and how do we avoid repeating the mistakes of our great uncle?
I decided that starting tomorrow, I would spend more time with my parents. Instead of relying on them for everything, I shared my life with them and listened to their thoughts. At the same time, I also have to start planning for my future, and I can't put all my hopes on the next generation.
Lying in bed, my mind is still replaying today's events. I imagined my aunt and uncle moving into a new home, hoping that they would find balance in their lives again. I'm also thinking about what I'd do if I were faced with a similar choice in the future.
There is no standard answer to this question, and every family has their own situation. But I believe that as long as we keep an open mind, understand each other, and respect each other, we will definitely find a way that suits us.
It was late at night, and there were bursts of cicadas chirping outside the window. I closed my eyes and silently prayed in my heart: may every family find their own balance of happiness, and may everyone have a healthy and happy old age.
Tomorrow, I'm going to call my cousin and see if I can help mediate the conflict between them. I'm too young to be convincing, but I can at least give it a try. After all, what is needed between family members is understanding and communication, not indifference and estrangement.
With these thoughts in mind, I slowly drifted off to sleep. In my dreams, I saw a warm picture: a happy family, everyone has their own space, and they can support each other in times of need. I hope that this dream will one day come true.