In the past few days, the daughter of the sheikh of Dubai is getting a divorce.
The whole world is watching this 30-year-old beauty, rich and powerful, but she is not happy.
The wedding was held in May last year with a big belly, and her husband was also a member of the royal family.
Only three months after her marriage, she gave birth to a daughter.
The daughter was only 11 months old, and the couple divorced.
The princess said in her divorce declaration that I declare our divorce because you are possessed by other partners. Divorce! Divorce! Divorce! Do it and cherish it. Your ex-wife.
Whether it is a princess or an ordinary person, "divorce" is becoming more and more common.
After the college entrance examination, divorce appointments in Shanghai are full.
Couples who are waiting for divorce are waiting for the next month.
Many couples stay up until their children finish the college entrance examination and can't wait to get divorced.
Supposedly, most couples voluntarily enter into marriage with love, right? But why are there so many divorces, and more and more?
1
The so-called 2+1
It is the one who forsakes the love of himself
Go to the leftovers that others have eaten.
The divorce of the princess of Dubai is mainly due to her husband's toying with feelings.
Regardless of men and women, those who can play with their feelings are those who are tired of loving themselves, and those who run to play with others are leftovers.
Mr. Yang Jiang said: "Don't touch a married woman, she is a man's face; Don't touch a married man who is a woman for the rest of her life; It's not your woman, don't ask for warmth, it's not your man, don't linger easily, this is the basic bottom line of being a man. Regardless of gender, the cost of an extramarital affair may have to be repaid with your whole life. ”
Zhang Ailing also said: "I don't 2+1, not only to be loyal to my husband, but also to be loyal to my upbringing and marriage, to give my children a correct three views, so that the people who gave birth to me and the people I gave birth to can't raise their heads." ”
Yayi has always advised readers that if your partner is 2+1, you must cherish yourself and respect yourself, and you must not use the same means to retaliate against him.
2
Slow down the pace of divorce
Many marriages are inevitably regretted when divorced
An article on Facebook written United States men: "A man's letter to men who want to cheat: Don't live in remorse like me".
The man has been married for 10 years and has two children.
At the time of the divorce, one child was 7 years old and the other was 9 years old.
The man met a woman while he was on a business trip. They have a lot in common with each other, and men feel that it is "true love". He was reluctant to go home, thinking that his wife was "fat" and that she looked "decrepit".
Every time his wife spoke to him, all he heard was "nagging and complaining." Behind the nagging and complaining is his wife's desperate search for his attention: longing to go out together on the weekend, go on a one-night date, watch a movie....... like all cheating men, he does all these things, but with a third party.
After the divorce, the children are raised by the ex-wife.
He paid child support, his ex-wife never complained, never asked him for more money, and never prevented the children from meeting him.
In the beginning, he thought life was wonderful. He made all kinds of shows of affection on Facebook, completely ignoring whether his ex-wife would get hurt.
The honeymoon period ended much sooner than expected.
He quarrels with his new love over big and small things......
The ex-wife was single for 8 years before she entered the marriage again. The man learns through a mutual friend that the ex-wife's remarried husband dotes on her and the children. After having a happy marriage, the ex-wife is also bright and moving.
He regretted it to the extreme—if he had spent more time with his ex-wife and had not been so bad to her, she might have been completely different. When his ex-wife was with him, she became ugly and sour, and she became a yellow-faced woman, probably due to "depression", and the reason for depression was that he never paid attention to her. His ex-wife takes care of the children every day, goes to work, cooks dinner, does laundry, does housework, sends children to training classes, and serves the elderly....... but he takes it for granted that she does all this.
Now, the man is single again and can only see the children occasionally...... He wrote this autobiography in English, hoping that everyone will not repeat the mistakes of the past.
In foreign countries, "marriage counseling" before divorce has become the choice of more and more people. In the future, this will also become a demand of our society.
Maybe you are not a socially recognized professional counselor, but if your good friend is divorced, if it is not a serious life-threatening cause of domestic violence, you can suggest that he slow down the divorce, keep learning, reflect on his previous mistakes, and then improve.
3
In marriage, keep yourself
And keep learning
Many people are able to spend years studying for a career and continue to learn after they get a career, but few have a similar attitude towards marriage.
In the case of men in United States above: when there is a problem in the marriage or you feel unhappy, you push all the problems to the other party, thinking that you change partners and everything is solved.
Counselors and marriage counselors with a living conscience will tell you:
Pro, the problems that a person had in the previous marriage are very likely to appear again in the next marriage. Statistics also show that the second marriage is more likely to fail than the first.
If it is not a serious problem such as domestic violence, gambling, or drug abuse, I recommend couples who are preparing for divorce to reflect on these issues calmly:
·What role does the respective family of origin play in this marriage?
· For the other party, with his family of origin, what can I change, what can I not change?
·How did this marriage go from sweet love and joyful wedding to today's situation?
· What responsibility do I bear for the unhappiness of this marriage?
· What is the responsibility of the other party?
The above questions are basically what the counselor and marriage counselor will talk to you. If the divorced person calms down, with the help of a wise man, he may be able to speak and sort out one by one, and the effect may be better.
My dear, if you really want to divorce recently, Sister Yayi will hug you first. Remember, in marriage, princesses will also fall out of favor, and no matter how good a woman is, she may experience inexplicable, bloody, and terrible failures, but we can't fail in vain.
Failure should give one reflection and avoid making the same mistake next time.
Even if it's leaving, it's not confusing.
Even if it's all the other party's fault, you can think about a question after slapping your face - why did I choose such a bad person when I was blind? My love for him/her is conditional or unconditional? Am I using the power of nature to manage my marriage, or am I using the power from above?
I love him because he is good-looking and looks good on my aesthetic points? Is it because they are in good condition and can be enjoyed by me? Is it because he is capable and will give me a better future? Is it because he has a good temper and offers emotional value to me? ……
These loves are conditional, and after marriage, when the other person does not meet our expectations, the marriage is in jeopardy.
A news commentary in the "People's Daily" said: "A good marriage only needs to do two things: firmness without hostility, and affection without temptation." True love is a giving that does not come with any utilitarian intentions. ”
Yes, true top-down love is the foundation of marriage.
The process of divorce helps us to see that we are "incompetent in love".
The love you crave in your heart is unconditional, this kind of love, maybe your parents may not be able to afford it, let alone your partner, many of us enter into marriage, give each other conditional love, and ask each other to treat themselves with unconditional love.
Very double standard, the essence is selfish.
See this clearly, and call for love, rain, and cleanliness from above, and there will be a way out for marriage.
When your friends are divorced, you can send him some sobering articles, ask for a coffee, make a tree hole and let him complain. So-called, turning indifference into love includes reaching out when people are getting divorced, right?
Trust me, whether or not this process can save someone else's marriage, it will make you more grateful and insightful about your own marriage.
Finally, Sister Yayi blesses you - marriage needs to reflect on yourself often, start from repentance, self-growth, and give is more blessed than receiving.
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