Wen \ Jiang Zuo Mei Niang
The famous Hong Kong writer, plus film and television screenwriter Li Bihua once said of the White Lady:
"Her greatest sin is to love too fiercely."
That's right! If a woman loves too fiercely, she will be low. In a truly happy marriage, most women have to love more than men, so that this marriage can last for a long time, why?
Because love in marriage is really difficult to compete with complex human nature.
In today's society, the role of women in the family and the workplace is becoming more and more important. But deep down in our hearts, we are still strong, and the desire to find a strong man to rely on has never subsided, however, you know what? If you are just beautiful, weak in heart, and weak in ability, then it is difficult for you to maintain a good marriage.
If a woman wants to manage her marriage well, she must overcome the weaknesses of human nature and become truly strong, because men are all about watching people cook.
01 You can show weakness to men in life, but you can't really be weak
The self-media writer said in the evening:
"A woman can show weakness, but she can't be really weak. A woman can be gentle, but not cowardly. ”
That's right, women always think that the beauty of appearance is more important, but they don't know that wisdom and ability are the hardest capital in marriage.
When every woman enters into marriage, we basically want to be protected, but you know what?
Psychologists believe that in the subconscious of men, there is a very strong desire to frustrate the will of women.
To put it simply, men have a strong tendency to unify your will, that is, you must identify with him, you must accept him, and it is better to be completely assimilated by him.
This is a big problem, we women enter marriage, we want to be spoiled, there are some small willfulness, small requirements, your man is to satisfy me, now it's okay, you want me to completely obey you, then I won't do it.
Yes, the game of the sexes begins.
What should a woman do? A smart woman is really good at showing weakness.
Some people ask, why is it a woman who shows weakness? Because we women want to be loved. This is the nature of most women.
Psychology expert Cong Feicong said:
"It's all like this in relationships: whoever can show weakness is loved. If you never show weakness and don't express your needs, the other party will not be able to meet you. The weak part can only be expressed by the other party. In a relationship, one person never bows his head, and the other person can only keep his head down. The two of them kept their heads up, and they couldn't get by. ”
Yes, a woman is soft and gentle by nature, and under the heroism of masculinity, showing weakness can only reflect his majesty and your coquettishness, isn't it?
In most cases, once a woman shows weakness, the man will most likely let you, because your posture is submissive, and that is enough.
But what about your will? If you follow him in both posture and reality, over time, he will swell, and you will become the real weak one in the marriage.
And when you are really weak, men in the workplace and in life, whenever they encounter unsatisfactory things, they will ruthlessly vent to you, and you will become an angry bag.
Therefore, showing weakness can only be a strategy, but it cannot be really weak. Whether it is running a family or working, a woman must have excellent abilities in addition to being psychologically strong.
When you show your professional and intelligent side in the financial management of the family or in the education of your children, when you show your outstanding strength in the workplace, even beyond the level of men, and truly have "two brushes" in professional ability, the man naturally does not dare to underestimate you.
02 Learn to reject men in marriage and don't be obedient in everything
Writer Su Qin said:
"You can always meet scumbags because you're so good. There is the simplicity of not wanting to speculate maliciously, and the kindness that can't bear to refuse, and the giving that does not ask for anything in return. If you are sharp and determined, dare to refuse, and are not ashamed to talk about money, then you will not be a target for a scumbag. ”
That's right, respect starts with learning to say no, and obedience doesn't make you earn real respect in a man.
There is a female reader, who is very beautiful and gentle, and is the kind of woman who is very good at talking, but she has been married and divorced twice, and still feels very unhappy in her second marriage.
When she first got married, she and her husband obviously divided the housework, one was responsible for cooking dinner, and the other was responsible for mopping the floor.
But every time she cooks dinner, she will carefully burn it, but her husband always drags it off, it was only dragged three times a week, and finally it became a fortnight, and her husband was not very busy, so she reminded her husband, but her husband was still indifferent, saying that he was busy with work and hoped that she would do it, so she couldn't stand it and went to drag it.
It's a small thing, but it's a little bit of a thing.
Writer Hu Xinshu said:
"Those who love to take will only use you as a tool until they consume all your value."
Most men are either lazy or greedy, and if you are deceived by his casual lies, then you can only be consumed.
Li Xiaoyi clearly pointed out in the book "What is Emotional Intelligence":
"After middle age, the biggest problem for women is "energy management", due to the change of physiological conditions, physical strength and energy decline at the same time, and there is only so much time, so you have to rivet enough strength to learn to protect your energy. Learn to streamline your life and goals, reject the little things that don't matter, gather your precious strength, and focus on breaking through key tasks. ”
Yes, isn't it good to concentrate on running your own business, or hobbies, or even just leisure? Why do you obey a man as soon as he asks for it?
Marriage is about two people's mutual support and respect, not the infinite compromise and forbearance of one party. Women need to learn to refuse men's unreasonable demands and not be submissive in everything in order to win true respect.
I know that many women are submissive because they are afraid of conflict.
But for unreasonable requests, you should firmly express your opinions and positions. Only then will men be aware of your bottom line and respect your rights.
Learning to say "no" is not only to protect your own rights and interests, but also to establish a healthy and equal relationship in marriage.
03 Mei Niang said
"Strength is not outward strength, but inner independence and wisdom."
In order for women to overcome the weaknesses of human nature and become truly strong, they need to constantly improve their abilities and values in all aspects.
By showing weakness but not really weakness, learning to say no, and establishing dignity in front of men, women can win more respect and recognition in their families and workplaces.
Remember: men are all about watching people cook, and only when women are really strong can they be invincible in all kinds of relationships.