Title: "A Man's Diary of Growing Up in the Western ·"
Author: Xue Mo
"The big waves of life will always come when you are not ready, this is the cruelty of life."
--Snow desert
It is often said that it is predestined, but it is also said that things are man-made.
Recently, I finished reading "A Man's West-Growth Diary" written by Mr. Xue Mo intermittently, and after reading this book, you will never believe in the so-called fate again.
This book is a personal diary (1981-1982) of an important growth stage in Xue Mo's life.
In addition to the diary, Mr. Xue Mo also wrote the background of the diary, adding a lot of details to the readers, helping readers better read and understand the psychological journey of a poor rural youth who counterattacked and became a writer in the context of that era.
The best fate of a poor teenager is probably the iron rice bowl, the "people's teacher", but Mr. Xue Mo did not trap himself in this glory, but firmly believed that he would definitely become a great writer.
He believes, he pursues, he succeeds, and he changes his destiny.
Today, I will share some of Mr. Xue Mo's attitudes towards life and learning in the book, and understand how he became a famous writer from a teenager in a poor mountainous area.
01 About blind dates
In the eighties and nineties of the last century, the men and women in Mr. Xue Mo's hometown were still based on blind dates.
As a school teacher, Mr. Xue Mo has what people often call an "iron rice bowl", and people often introduce him to him.
There is a girl in the diary who works at a credit union and is a regular employee.
"People say she's bad because she's caused a lot of love tragedy. Can I accept such a girl? ”
With such thoughts, Teacher Xue Mo was reluctant to meet with this young woman.
Later, under the repeated persuasion of relatives, I met with her, and soon Teacher Xue Mo knew that she was not the legendary bad girl.
Those male teachers also went to her on a blind date with her regular employees.
From this incident, Mr. Xue Mo concluded that sometimes we misunderstand others, maybe we just don't understand others.
People still need to cultivate themselves more, have a sense of reverence for all things, don't judge downward, and don't believe in rumors that chase after the wind and shadows.
02 About dreams
"I aspire to my ideals, which are also in my genes."
In order to realize her dream, Teacher Xue Mo meditates and self-study, practices martial arts, studies, reads and insists on keeping a diary, constantly thinking, self-reflection, and self-improvement.
But life is very boring, and only those who have experienced it can probably appreciate how bitter this kind of persistence with no results can be.
When I was in high school, I went to bed at one or two o'clock every day, got up at five or six o'clock in the morning, studied hard every day, and the pressure was so great that I had nightmares every night.
I often cry because of a little thing every day.
With the phrase "persistence is victory" in my heart, I really gritted my teeth and got through that kind of day.
Although life is boring, Teacher Xue Mo used his self-discipline, self-improvement and self-confidence to walk through the darkness before dawn.
About the dream he said:
"It takes courage to stick to your dreams, it means that you always have to fight with yourself, you always have to fight against time, you always have to keep yourself in a positive attitude, and you always believe that you can overcome yourself, overcome difficulties, and achieve your dreams."
03 About time
Time is fair to everyone, and what ultimately makes the difference is people's attitudes and practices towards time.
Teacher Xue Mo wrote in her diary:
"Even if a person can live to be a hundred years old, he will only have 36,000 days, and a wasted day means 1/36,000 of his life wasted, how sad!"
At a young age, he wakes up earlier in the morning than others, and does not want to go to bed early at night, always using as much time as possible to read and write.
Throughout ancient and modern times, there was a famous politician Sun Jing of the Han Dynasty who "hung his head on the beam" and Su Qin, a famous strategist of the Warring States Period, who "cone and pierced stocks".
At present, Jack Ma and Li Ka-shing get up at five o'clock, Charlie Munger carries books with him, but all the big people who have some achievements, they will use all the time they can use to improve themselves.
Teacher Xue Mo also realized the importance of time very early on, and learned to make full use of time to complete his goals, so that he became today's writer Xue Mo.
04 About Selection
Teacher Xue Mo said in the book that a very important reason why he has been able to get to where he is today can be summed up in four words: know how to choose.
It became his dream to be a writer as a teenager, and it was from that time that almost all of his money was spent on magazines.
It's a lot of deduction in food. In other respects, he also spends very little.
When Franklin was young, he also cut back on food and clothing in order to save money on books, sometimes even eating only one meal a day.
Teacher Xue Mo said:
"In all stories, no matter what the field, success must be able to be abandoned, including personality cultivation and literary cultivation."
Since you have chosen to become a writer, you are destined to give up some worldly pleasures.
Dreams require perseverance, but the premise of hard work is to know how to make trade-offs and make better choices.
05 About marriage
Teacher Xue Mo wrote in his diary that a teacher was seduced by a woman while watching a movie, and was finally forced to marry her because the young woman was pregnant.
The male teacher himself is talented, and there are infinite possibilities for marrying a full-time worker in the future.
But if he marries a rural girl, his salary is not enough to support the family, and his wife must farm in the countryside.
I also have to farm in my hometown during the winter and summer vacations, and for rural girls, it is "to marry Xiucai as a lady, and marry Tu Han to turn over her intestines." ”
But for a male teacher, such a marriage obviously made him unable to get out of the "farm gate" for the rest of his life.
But Mr. Xue Mo summed up his views on this matter, saying:
First, people must learn to control their desires, otherwise it is easy to make big mistakes and regret them.
Second, it's man-made.
Things are man-made, and marrying a rural girl does not necessarily mean that you have to guard the "farm gate" for the rest of your life.
His wife was also a rural girl, and in the years after his marriage he worked as a teacher and a farmer.
But he said that his wife not only did not drag him down, but also gave him help.
He said that in marriage, the most important thing is to look at the character of the other party, his wife is a rural hukou, but everyone who has seen her respects her.
"A lot of things can't be generalized. As long as she can change herself, sublimate herself, and let herself continue to grow, even if she lived a very poor life at the beginning, she can later take her out of the shackles and towards a broader world. Only those who don't work hard will blame others for their own failures. ”
Write at the end:
The old ancestor said, "Character determines fate." ”
Many times in life, decisions that seem to be deliberate or laborious are actually imprinted with character.
The fate that the world believes in is often nothing more than an excuse for self-comfort in ability and unwillingness to move forward.
It can be seen from Mr. Xue Mo's diary that he has been thinking very rightly since he was a child, likes to fight unevenly, has no crooked brains, and always wants to grow, to go up, and to overcome himself.
After having a dream, he began to overcome all difficulties to realize it, and finally succeeded.
A person's origin is important, but his origin does not determine his fate.
As the contradiction says: "Fate is nothing but the boring masturbation of the loser, but the ridicule of the cowardly." ”