A Tigger
This article declares: This article is a short story, the content is pure fiction, please watch it rationally
preface
Many years ago, in order to reduce the burden on my family, I chose to go out to work. Gradually, I had less contact with my family, and after getting married and having children in other places, I went home only a handful of times.
Many years have passed, and it is time for me to retire. In the years since I retired, probably because of my leisure, I often thought of my family and longed for that affection. So, at the warm invitation of my sister-in-law, I decided to go back to my parents' house for the New Year.
With so many years of longing for affection, I set out on the road home. However, because of my father's words, I decided never to contact them again.
01
After retirement, my life has become extremely empty, and the loneliness that I never felt when I was busy with work is now overwhelming. Although the children come home occasionally, they all have their own lives and families. Most of my friends are scattered all over the place, and they gather less and leave more. So, I came up with an idea: Let's go back to my parents' house for the Chinese New Year this year.
The sister-in-law's call came at the right time: "Sister, come back quickly!" It's been a long time since we've seen each other, and we're lively and lively together. ”
Her enthusiasm warms my heart. When I was a child, the Chinese New Year was the busiest time in the house, the whole family sat together, and my father was majestic and silent, but the atmosphere made people feel safe. However, after I got married, I gradually distanced myself from the family, and my father's coldness and the busyness of my siblings made me go home less and less.
This time, my sister-in-law's invitation ignited the hope of family in my heart. Perhaps, as you get older, family affection will become more important. I decided to go home and see a place I hadn't really set foot in years.
In the thirtieth year of the Chinese New Year's Eve, I carried two large bags of New Year goods and embarked on the way home with mixed feelings. The car drove on a winding country road, the familiar scenery outside the window, but the heart was full of apprehension.
Over the years, I have had less and less contact with my family, especially my father, and since I got married, we have less and less conversation. Every time I came home, my father seemed very cold, as if my arrival did not bring him any special joy. When I was a child, he was strict, but it always made me feel a little dependent, and now, that dependence has long since dissipated.
I hope that this reunion will allow me to find the long-lost family relationship, after all, this is the first time in many years that I really want to go home for the New Year.
02
After arriving home, my sister-in-law was really enthusiastic and busy. She took the New Year's goods from my hand and said with a smile: "Oh, sister, come on, bring so many things!" ”
In the living room, the brothers and their children gathered around, talking and laughing, and it seemed that the family atmosphere was very warm. The children of the eldest brother's family played around in the room, which was full of festive atmosphere. I stood at the door, thinking to myself that it was right to go home and that maybe I would be able to reintegrate into the family this time.
My father sat in the corner, still silent, his pipe in his hands, his eyes swept over me, as if he were looking at a stranger. I tried to talk to him: "Dad, how are you doing?" He just nodded, still without much expression.
When it's time for Chinese New Year's Eve dinner, everyone sits around, and the table is full of hearty dishes, steaming. I picked up the chopsticks, and my heart was filled with a sense of intimacy that I had not felt in a long time. This is the first time in many years that I have been with my family at the Chinese New Year's Eve dinner table.
The topic at the dinner table was very active, the eldest brother and the younger sister chatted about their respective jobs and children, and the sister-in-law also gags, and everyone seemed to have a good time. However, as the conversation progressed, I found myself unable to interject. The chatter and laughter between my siblings made me feel a little out of place, and my presence didn't seem to matter.
My eldest brother suddenly turned his head and asked me, "I heard that you are retired?" Now that I have nothing to do, it's good to go home and see my dad more. ”
"Yes, I also thought, I have time to retire, and I will go home more often to accompany you and my father......" I answered, and I was also thinking about seeing more in the future.
At this moment, my father put down his chopsticks and said coldly: "I haven't come back for so long, what are you doing when you come back now, I don't need you anymore, let's leave quickly after eating." In a word, like a basin of cold water poured down, the whole table instantly fell silent.
My mind went blank, and the chopsticks in my hand stopped moving. I wanted to explain, I wanted to say something, but my throat felt like it was blocked, and I couldn't make a sound. The air around me seemed to freeze, and I could clearly hear my own heartbeat.
The eldest brother and sister-in-law glanced at each other, and the sister-in-law hurriedly snorted: "Oh, Dad, don't say that, it's all a family!" Isn't everyone back for a reunion now? The eldest brother also nodded and agreed: "Yes, Dad, for the New Year, everyone is having a good time." ”
Their tone was light-hearted, as if the decisive words were just a small episode at the dinner table. They still had a smile on their faces, but that smile seemed so hypocritical at the moment. I looked at them and suddenly understood in my heart that they didn't really care about me coming back, what they cared about was only the superficial harmony of the family.
I lowered my head and tried to control my emotions so that tears did not flow in front of everyone. It turned out that my father never regarded me as a member of the family, and these brothers and sisters didn't seem to really accept me.
Their enthusiasm, which is nothing more than the maintenance of the apparent integrity of the family, and genuine concern and affection have long since become thin in their hearts.
The little sister lowered her head to the side and did not participate in the conversation, as if she also felt the embarrassment. Like me, she was the less appreciated one in the family, and she struggled to find recognition, but in the end she was always disappointed.
03
After the meal, I sat on the couch with a heavy heart. I looked at this once familiar home, and suddenly felt extremely strange. The father's cold gaze, the hypocritical enthusiasm of the eldest brother and sister-in-law, and the taciturn of the younger sister...... It all made me understand that I was no longer connected to their world.
I got up, silently packed my bags, and prepared to leave quietly. Didn't tell anyone, not even a goodbye. I don't want to break this false "harmony" again.
It was dark outside, and I walked down the empty street with my luggage, and my heart was cold. This road seemed more lonely than when I came, and I knew in my heart that the so-called "home" was no longer mine.
On the way back, I looked out the window at the dark night sky and had a lot of thoughts. For many years, I thought that if I tried to fit in, I would one day find that family again. But I was wrong. Family affection is not something that I can maintain by working hard alone, it requires understanding and tolerance from both parties. And in this family, I have always been the superfluous person.
Father's words were not momentary angry words, but the real thoughts in his heart. In his concept, the daughter who marries should be completely separated from her mother's family. The superficial enthusiasm of the siblings is only to maintain a complete family image, and the real concern has long been smoothed out by the reality of life.
I no longer have to rely on these superficial affections. Perhaps, retirement life will be a new beginning, an independent and free beginning.
As the car drove home, I silently said goodbye to the once familiar but unfamiliar home. Those so-called relatives will never be a part of my life again. Since then, I have not contacted them again.
This article declares: This article is a short story, the content is pure fiction, please watch it rationally