One early morning in the golden autumn of Beijing, I received a letter from Guangdong student Huang Shantuo (the name I gave her) to write to me about the first anniversary of my study, my heart was warm, to be honest, my heart surged with "pride", thank you Huang Shantuo for bringing me a pleasant feeling. I don't know much about this family, but I once again realized my own value from the changes in the family recorded in their learning feelings, and I told myself, "Work harder to make more families happier, I have no regrets in this life!" ”
Teacher Zheng Wei:
Hello!
I am writing to you today to thank you for the changes in my home over the past year under your guidance. It's really big, big. It was so big that I didn't know where to start.
The first anniversary of the study
Text: Guangdong student Huang Shantao
I was late for work today and was happy. Blocked on the road for 1 and a half hours, while blocking me while enjoying, this is the first time I have been late for work in 14 years, there is a breakthrough, what a beautiful thing. Looking out the window at the rush of traffic and crowds of people jumping up and down, I sat in a quiet car, the car in front of me stopped, and the car walked me. Feel comfortable and at ease, not in a hurry. I remembered that Teacher Zheng once shared a passage in the Q group: "Let's learn not to put pressure on ourselves, and insist on soaking in this loving environment to wait for the arrival of a "sudden day". I was at Hohhot airport last night, waiting for 5 hours later, the flight was cancelled at two o'clock in the middle of the night, the midnight contact, the high-priced chartered car ran all night just into Beijing, wrote a blog in the car, and now it is still blocked on the morning rush road in Beijing, but also rushed to the CCTV shooting base in Tianjin on time, it seems to be late, all the way down, not anxious, slowly experience the process, in fact, this is life. Everyone teaches children to have such a peaceful attitude towards all things, how can they not be happy, how can children not be excellent. Cultivate a desireless heart, cultivate a promising body. This is true of parents' practice, and so is the direction of children's growth."
Now it happens to be the first anniversary of my study with Teacher Zheng, and there have been so many things that have happened in my family in the past year, and the changes in my family are particularly great. I don't say too much about my feelings, I can only say one thing at a time.
My husband and I, a southerner and a northerner, met when we worked in a company in Guangzhou, and then fell in love and got married and had children. Several major events in life were quietly handled by ourselves, and after the birth of our son, we were brought by my grandmother. We've been busy, and for a year the three of us were in three places, and I never thought about what life was and what life was. It was as if the two of us were living together, and everything was chaotic. My son never went back to his hometown to see his relatives in his hometown before he was 8 years old... It's just a concept for grandparents.
After attending the two-day and two-night course of Mr. Zheng Wei, we immediately had a lot of actions in action.
My husband immediately began to move his hukou to the south, and our family finally got together, and I quietly asked people to change the position of the head of my household in the hukou book to my husband. This matter has been hanging unfinished for nearly ten years since we got married, and we did not expect to participate in the class of Teacher Zheng Wei and have this effect. Before getting married, my mother always told me that people from other provinces are unreliable, unreliable, and trustworthy. This also makes me hold on to this problem all the time, and every time I mention it, I end up unhappy.
After the course, I realized that my values were biased, I attached great importance to money, and my husband and I had a lot of entanglements and frictions caused by money. After hiring a mentor for follow-up guidance, I gave all my material things to my husband, who took care of it. At first, my husband didn't believe that I would do this, and kept waiting and watching, until half a year later, when he found out that I was really sincere, he gladly accepted. After these two things are resolved, there is basically no problem between husband and wife. I know I'm loving my husband this guy isn't something attached to him. He did the same to me. We have a lot of common topics, and the most topics are about this and that of Teacher Zheng. Sometimes I lay down at night, and I sincerely said that I was really grateful to meet Teacher Zheng, which made a qualitative change in all aspects of our lives.
The husband is an action faction, he realized that filial piety is the greatest virtue, first to repair the relationship with his parents, pay more for his parents in action, and try to change the perspective to understand them. At the end of 2012, our family happily returned to their hometown for the Chinese New Year. In the past 8 years, my son stepped into his hometown for the first time, he was very happy, playing snowman and snowballball, and when he came back, he often told people how my hometown was, and he was very proud.
(Teacher Zheng Wei: Many students who have finished studying go home and think of using knowledge to solve specific problems, which is "staring at yellow leaves" and "asking for good fruit", which may not solve the fundamental problem. I don't know, first of all, we must correct our filial piety to reset the family ethics, and then adjust the relationship between husband and wife to establish an environment of love, and the third is to use the "leniency and strictness is the principle of true love" to educate children. ）
In the summer, my grandparents came, maybe because I insisted on writing homework for a long time, I saw a lot of advantages of my grandparents, and every day when I came back, I saw my grandmother sweating after cooking, and I would put my arm around my grandmother's shoulder and say: Mom, you have worked hard. The mother-in-law always said happily, not hard, hard. My mother-in-law is good at making pasta, and as soon as we came home, we ate it with our hands like naughty children, and said that it was delicious while eating, and my mother's craftsmanship was too good! The mother-in-law looked at us with a smile like a mischievous child. On weekends, my children and I learned to make pasta with my grandmother, and the family was so happy. Because we have a good relationship with our grandparents, our children have a particularly good relationship with their grandparents. Often come up with tricks and grandpa to play games, eagles catch chickens, rock scissors cloth, play basketball, swimming, play badminton with grandpa, grandpa will also draw, brush words, the son appreciates said: Grandpa is really versatile! Grandpa couldn't be happier. (Teacher Zheng Wei: What a warm family scene!) ）
A few years ago, the mother-in-law was diagnosed by doctors with depression and needed long-term medication. When I came to Guangzhou, I was very distressed to see that my mother-in-law had been taking medicine, and I told my husband. Now I was surprised to find that my mother-in-law had not needed to take medicine for three consecutive months, and her mood was happy every day. Especially happy. Every time I think about it, I am very emotional, the elderly and children, we just made a small change a little bit, their changes are particularly huge.
When I took my in-laws to the shenzhen sea in the summer, my father-in-law swam back and forth in the sea for a few times and laughed: I didn't expect to be able to swim in the sea in my life. It turns out that the elderly are really easy to satisfy, we often take children to travel around, but we never want to take the elderly to walk around when the elderly are still healthy. (Teacher Zheng Wei: How many people's filial piety is in their mouths and minds, and how many people can implement it in action? I'm reflecting on this myself. ）
At home, we insist on the order of the elderly and the young, and from the second time we eat and sit, we also ask our grandparents to sit first. The in-laws saw our relationship with our children. My father-in-law, who is a teacher, not only praised us once and said, "Your way of educating is good." We can only truthfully say that we learned from Teacher Zheng Wei.
My dear baby Runrun, his changes in the past year have touched me even more. The first time I attended the class, the group discussed the teacher's words that Runrun has a small mind, poor mobility, sensitivity, and a desire to communicate with people. Two days after class, he bit his student card, his clothes were full of saliva, I listened to professional reviews and saw his state, I was really full of tastes, tears, what kind of pain he was experiencing in his heart, my baby. After the class, he came home and saw a puppy downstairs, he said: "Mother Teacher Zheng also has a puppy called Wangcai at home, he and his wife make food for him every day to eat and dress him well, and the puppy does not have to work." Because he is a pet, we are human beings, and people are responsible." At that time I knew that the seed of responsibility had been planted in his heart, and he thought well, he needed help, he needed the right love.
Since then, I have been immersed in group Q, participated in salons to write homework, memorized secret notes in almost any form of activity. I've never stopped practicing since I started practicing. I am a very serious and persistent but generally perceptive student, I can't understand any big truth, I just know to obey and do it, under the role of the partner, with the help of my classmates, my state is getting better and better.
(Teacher Zheng Wei: The real understanding comes from the summary and reflection after the actual operation, many people's understanding is actually wisdom rather than wisdom, wisdom needs to "unite knowledge and action", without the unity of knowledge and action is not called wisdom, called logical understanding in fact, the heart does not understand. You are the most enlightened, because you realize that you will reap the rewards of perseverance. ）
Ouyang and Xu Qian helped me take the nickname "Smile", I hope I am happy to laugh more, I really smile more and more; in the Q group, I met Teacher Zheng to help me name "Free", I am more and more not entangled in specific things, not entangled in yellow leaves, everything is done as I please. The most important thing for a woman to be happy is to be happy, and the most important thing for me is to make myself happy. I don't have a husband for everything I can't do. (The woman is happy, the whole family is happy, the woman is not happy, no one dares to be happy, the best gift for the mother to give the child is to give the husband to face and love yourself.) ）
This semester, my son entered the third grade, and he said he wanted to learn guitar. We all advised him not to learn, it was very bitter. He said that you are really strange, others learn this and that you still advise me not to learn, is not to learn guitar hands will wear the skin, this I already know, grinding the skin should be a layer of protective film on the hand What is the big deal. My classmates blow saxophone and blow their mouths are swollen, my son's words made me fully appreciate that children are not afraid of suffering, afraid of not being understood, we understand and care about him, he will think that he is not bitter others to suffer.
(Teacher Zheng Wei: Children and women have a common characteristic, not afraid of tiredness and not afraid of suffering is afraid of not being understood, if your children and wives always feel tired and bitter, it means that their hearts are dry, with understanding, respect and love to water. ）
On September 1st, the school returned to school, the life teacher said: "This year re-divided the dormitory, two parents have specially greeted, and they want to share in a dormitory with Runrun", the original old roommate came over and hugged his son and said loudly: "Lu Ge is not in the same dormitory with you this year, I am sad." Hear this, see this. His mother, what reason do I have to worry about my son, the nourishment of the root is sufficient, why worry about no green leaves and red fruits.
When I first started to understand the system of love and happiness of Teacher Zheng, I was excited to tell everyone around me. At that time, all I knew was that what I knew was not what I did, and what I told people that I knew was reasoning, and others did not need reason. This year, when many people see their son's bright and confident smile, they often say: Runrun is now very confident! Some friends around me also began to join the big group. I would love to do more to help you, just like everyone else.
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