Xu Zhimo's love at that time was not the real me, but the Lin Huiyin he imagined with the romantic emotions of the poet, but I was actually not the person he thought in his mind.
--Lin Huiyin
When infatuated with a person to the point of intoxication, the man will say to the woman that you are the goddess; the woman will say to the man that you are the Lord.
If you are infatuated, would you like to be a goddess? Or, do you want to be the master?
Perhaps, many people's answer is yes, because being infatuated and worshipped as a goddess or master satisfies our narcissistic needs and makes us flutter easily.
However, truly wise people do not want to be worshipped as gods. No matter how much the other person is obsessed with himself and how he puts himself in the supreme position, he still knows that he is just a person, a concrete person with flesh and blood and strengths and weaknesses.
Moreover, such people also know that the infatuated person is not obsessed with the real self, but with an illusion projected onto himself by the infatuator.
No one wants to be an illusion of another person. However, many people do not understand this, and when they find themselves infatuated, they are complacent, so they are happy to be infatuated, and even create illusions to make each other obsessed.
Refusing to be an illusion of another person's infatuation may be the reason why the legendary talented woman Lin Huiyin rejects Xu Zhimo's infatuation.
Hu Shi once said: "Shima's outlook on life is a simple belief, and there are three words in it: one is love, one is freedom, and the other is beauty. ”
Perhaps, Lin Huiyin is the perfect goddess of love, freedom and beauty in Xu Zhimo's mind, and he is obsessed with it. However, what is the relationship between this so-called "goddess incarnation" that he is obsessed with and Lin Huiyin, a specific person?
Lin Huiyin gave the answer to this. She said to her son Liang Congjie: "Xu Zhimo's love at that time was not the real me, but the Lin Huiyin he imagined with the romantic emotions of a poet, but I was actually not the person he thought in his mind." ”
The meaning of this sentence may mean that Xu Zhimo sketched a perfect female image, put it on Lin Huiyin's body, and then went to love. Xu Zhimo only loved the illusion of the perfect woman he had put on Lin Huiyin, not Lin Huiyin himself.
On the Sohu Queqiao forum, a man sent a letter — a breakup letter written to him by a girl he had pursued at the age of 17. A passage in this letter explains this meaning in greater detail.
Sometimes I think, what am I to you? Perhaps it is really like Lin Huiyin in Xu Zhimo's eyes, although it is beautiful and detached from reality, it is just a flawless shadow in the poet's dream. What you shape yourself, only you can see.
I think that what you are in love with is only Li Qinglian's song, Jiang Baishi's rhyme, or Xiao Du and Liu Qi's literary style; it is the Tang and Song Dynasty poems in the line, the folded branches and flowers of the silk book, the jade and bright moon in Yangzhou City, the smoke wave painting boat on the Qinhuai River, the half-silk cold rain that falls on Su Xiaoxiao's grave on the autumn night, and the wisp of incense soul locked into the Swallow Building year after year...
It's just not me, a real and unlovable girl who lived in 2003.
Isn't it good not only to be worshipped as a goddess, but also to get the love and incomparably gentle love of a man like Xu Zhimo?
Lin Huiyin's answer was that she did not want to be regarded as a goddess, did not want to be exaggerated, did not want to be denied, she only wanted to be herself.
She said: "Truthfully, I will not be proud of the beauty of a poet, nor will I be insulted by being in love." I will always be me, flattered by poets and will not increase my beauty and energy, and there is no shame in having an unfortunate and tortuous old history. ”
And the girl said to the man who pursued her:
How much do you know about me?
My looks, my disposition, my thoughts, my past and future life, you can't see anything.
In your heart I am nothing more than a shell made of talent, no soul, no heart.
This girl, and Lin Huiyin's answer is the same.
That's why they refuse to obsess over their men. Because, once the obsession occurs, the infatuated person sees only the illusion projected onto the infatuated person himself, and cannot see the real existence of the infatuated person.
For example, Xu Zhimo saw the embodiment of the goddess of "love, freedom and beauty", and the man on the Queqiao Forum saw the embodiment of the ideal woman of "aura, beauty and kindness", the seemingly incomparable talent of the girl, but he could not see her appearance, her temperament, her thoughts, her past and future life...
This infatuation is not true love