We were college classmates, we met at a school fraternity party, followed by the cliché story, we were attracted to each other, we were naturally together, and then experienced the same joys and sorrows as all couples, and finally cultivated the right results and entered the palace of marriage.
Two years later, we have our own baby, named Tuantuan, looking at their own carved son, I feel that it is a gift from heaven to us, the first thing my father does after work every day is to wash his hands and hold his son, for the healthy growth of my son, I resigned, from a professional woman to a housewife, the cost of the family has become larger because of the arrival of the son, but the income has become a person from two people, the pressure of work, financial constraints make him more and more impatient after work every day, even the son is no longer coaxing, Even the son hugged him and wanted him to play with himself to see his mood, and every day when he came home, he was lying in bed, watching TV on the couch, and playing with his mobile phone. And I also from the original bright and beautiful to haggard, I never thought of taking care of a child to grow up is such a draining thing, I became a 24-hour nanny, from getting up in the morning to sleeping at night like a war, in the middle of the night to take care of my son, without the husband's thoughtfulness and help, as if there is no spiritual support, I feel as if I can't stand it, I hate myself, deny myself, learn to do the trivial things of life, do not rely on others, from a girl to a woman, the husband does not understand, Inconsiderate, the mother-in-law's pickiness, the child's crying, the derailment with the outside world makes me nervous about every little thing, all of this is like a mountain pressing on my body, every day when I wake up, I feel that life is not interesting, there are fewer and fewer words at home, sometimes the child sleeps alone on the balcony, will involuntarily cry, I know that I am depressed, and this uneasiness will be passed on to the child, so I force myself not to think, looking at my son, milky shouting:" Mom, Mom", I felt that life had hope.
This kind of day lasted until the night when the child was about to turn 3, when I was busy cleaning up the child and bringing the meal to the table, while the husband sat on the sofa like a taishang emperor and held the mobile phone indifferently, so the resentment and grievances accumulated for 5 years were like finally finding an outlet.
In a rainy weather, our marriage came to an end, the custody of the child belonged to the man, because I did not have the ability to raise, when I walked on the road of autumn wind, I suddenly found that I had worked hard for so many years to get nothing, and became a single person, I sat on the bench in the park, buried my head deep between my legs, howling and crying, regardless of the strange eyes of the people around me, I just wanted to cry out my grievances for so many years. After crying, I thought about how I would go in the future.
I found a job again, although it is not as good as 3 years ago, everything needs to start again, but always have to rely on life, finally survived a difficult week, thinking that I can finally see my lovely son, so I carefully dressed up and went to this important "date", but I was told by the neighbors that the child went to my hometown in Jinan with my grandfather, grandmother, and father, and this news was like a thunderbolt on a sunny day, and I was in the same place, I thought of the child, especially thinking, the heart hurt, and I couldn't sleep at night Every night, you have to rely on a lot of sleeping pills to barely get a good night's sleep.
So I soak in the company every day, afraid to go home, afraid of being alone, often hallucinating, sometimes I will see tuan tuan sitting on the ground playing with the car, I will hear him say "Mom, play with me"; passing by the bathroom, I will see a small tuan tuan sitting on the toilet to pull the stink; when I see the snack bag thrown at the door, I will think: "Is tuan tuan back to find yourself?" "I didn't dare to close the door when I slept at night, for fear that tuan tuan would not be able to enter the house when I came back...
I turned all my thoughts about tuan tuan into work, and yes, work never fails to live up to every bit of your effort, and I quickly got started with a new job.
Winter came, the first snow of the year, and sometimes standing in the window and looking out, it was as if I could see a small clump dressed thickly playing with the snow, and sometimes looked up at me and smiled brightly. After 3 months, 3 months without hearing Tuan Tuan calling out to her mother, she finally couldn't help but call the child's father, the phone was quickly connected, I said: "I think of the child, will you come back?" When will I come back and see the kids? ”
The child's father agreed very happily, did not expect to separate the two people but can be patient, so I look forward to the new year like a child every day, every day look forward to when the child will return to this small mountain city, whenever I can't stick to it, I will tell myself, "Tomorrow, maybe tomorrow, the child will come back", just like this, day by day, day by day, after waiting for 186 days, finally received a call from the child's father, they came back. I was so happy that I drove straight to the playground we had agreed upon, in the city, I had never tried to drive the car so fast, and when I saw the child sitting on the slide, I couldn't hold back any longer, and the tears involuntarily slid down my cheeks.
"Tuan tuan," I whispered in a trembling voice.
But he looked at a stranger he knew best, with a look of caution and surprise in his eyes that I could not tell.
As I held his tiny body, we both couldn't stop crying, and he wrapped his little arms around my neck and told me, "Mom, I thought you didn't want me."
"How come, you are Mom's favorite baby, Mom will always love you and will never leave you, you see, didn't I come back?" I don't think my ex-husband will tell him about adult things, but I know that little children think he doesn't understand anything, but they are actually the most sensitive.
"Can we be together forever after that?"
"Yes, always together, never apart."
This day was the happiest day I've had in my time, and with my son, it was as if I was back in the past.
It was dark, and I went home and said to my mother, "I saw Tuan Tuan today." ”
My mother looked at me with wide eyes, and the tears flowed down one by one, as if they flowed into my heart, burning my heart so much, so painful.
"The regiment should have grown taller, right?"
"Yes," I described to my mother the current tuantuan, as big as how tall and fat, as small as every word he said and every action he made.
Yes, she is a grandmother, how can she not want that little person, in the past few months, she has lost a lot of weight, every time she looks at the photos of the group, and makes him a lot of cotton clothes, but she never mentions it in front of me, she thinks, she does not say, I will not be sad.
My mother carefully said to me, "Can you let your child stay in our house for a day, half a day?"
I thought, even for the sake of mom, even if I am rejected, I have to try.
Unexpectedly, he agreed. Early the next morning, he called me downstairs to pick up the baby, and my mother and I rushed downstairs.
The child returned to her grandmother's house after many days of absence, and she was very excited, and her mother was like a guest of honor, taking this and that for a while, and she was overwhelmed.
In the afternoon, my mother and I reluctantly sent the group downstairs, and the mother-in-law and the child's father were already waiting downstairs, and the mother-in-law said: "Let's talk."
I agreed, the mother took the child to play on the side, we sat on the stone bench in the community, the mother-in-law said: "Yuanyuan, come back, the child shouts to the mother every day, to find the mother, during that time, me and his father really have no way, just want to take him back to jinan hometown, let him leave this place, but later, he does not look for the mother, but also does not talk, do not play with the children, whenever he sees anyone whose mother walks with the children, he will look at it like that, until he can't see, I know, he thinks of his mother." I used to do a bad job, but who doesn't live a noisy life? You tell me? ”
"Auntie, it's actually not your problem, it's the two of us that have a problem, after the divorce, I also thought a lot, I also have problems, this is not caused by one person, but I am really tired of this life." 」
"Boy, I know, before I didn't know how to cherish, I always thought how tired it can be to take children at home, in the few months I took the children, I understood your hardships, and I also knew that I did not fulfill the responsibility of a father, this time separated, I also understood a lot, home, that is, there are you, there are me, there are children, we rely on each other, share each other, are you willing to give me another chance?" 」
The grievances suffered for so many years seem to have found a breakthrough, rushing outwards, watching him flustered and overwhelmed, as if he had returned to the past, and his heart was suddenly incomparably solid.
Holding my little pistachio, feeling happy, perhaps, this is the best ending, whether it is for children or for me.