#1
Everyone should have this experience, in the mall everywhere can see children in order to buy what they like, take a variety of "small means", some parents are soft,can not help the child's "soft grinding hard bubbles" and finally agreed to buy things for their children.
However, some parents are unwilling to buy their children what they want, and even beat their children in public to teach their children a long lesson.
A few days ago, some netizens shared such a thing:
The netizen was visiting the supermarket, helping his little niece pick out birthday gifts in front of the toy shelves. A little girl of about five or six years old lingered in front of the shelves for a long time and refused to leave, loving a teddy bear and begging her mother to buy it for her.
At first, her mother was very patient to persuade her to dispel the idea of buying toys, but the little girl's "persistence" consumed all the patience of this mother, and the mother's fiery temper was immediately "ignited", the mother ignored the opinions of the people around her, punched and kicked the little girl, the little girl cried in pain, sat on the ground while crying and begged her mother not to hit her again, she did not buy, no longer dare.
Netizens and people around them quickly pulled away the child and mother, the girl's mother angrily took the child away from the scene, and people around them also talked about it.
Every child will experience mischief and disobedience in the process of growing up, some parents will adopt the way of spoiling their children, and some strict parents will take the way of "fighting without a word", of course, these two educational methods are very incorrect.
However, the way of "fighting without a word" belongs to the category of parental emotional control and management, which has a very negative impact on the development of children's future personality and behavior habits.
#2
In fact, there are not a few parents who are prone to emotional loss of control.
Previously, there was a small video like this circulating on the Internet:
The little girl was sitting quietly on a stool doing her homework, when suddenly her mother began to beat the girl violently, directly throwing the girl to the ground.
After the girl got up, the mother picked up the broom and whipped the girl, slapped the girl with a bow left and right, carried the girl's hair back and forth, and then punched and kicked.
In the process, the girl does not cry or make trouble as if she is not beaten, but her understanding is of no use.
Dad came back and committed the same atrocities against the girl, and the girl did not beg, not even the most basic crying, obviously numb, I really don't know how many times it took for the girl to have such a reaction.
Parents of every incident are often unaware of the seriousness of the problem.
They allow emotions to escape from their bodies, and then unabashedly and uncontrollably vent their emotions on their children until they cause irreparable harm to them.
#3
Educator Yin Jianli said: "The three points of temper you throw at your child will cause seven points of harm to your child. ”
The wanton anger of parents is the feeling of the sky falling for the child, and the face of the parent with emotions is the deepest fear in the child's heart.
Children who grow up under the emotional violence of their parents may not be able to get rid of their inner shadows throughout their lives.
Parents are out of control,
Harm to children's development //
1. Leave a psychological shadow on the child
Some parents think that children are disobedient and beat up, but in the process of growing up, they cannot control their emotions well and take a violent approach, which cannot play a good educational effect, but will hurt the child's young mind, resulting in the formation of a "flattering" personality and the development of an inferior, lonely, and irritable personality.
2. Intensify the contradiction between parents and children
For children, parents are a warm harbor, a habitat for the soul, and it is happy and happy to be with parents. But it is difficult for parents to control their emotions, today is a "sunny sunny day", tomorrow is a "stormy" rainy day, resulting in a crack in the intimate relationship between children and parents, resulting in children have ideas that are not willing to share with parents, and once there is a problem, they will use quarrels to solve.
3. It is easy to arouse children's rebellious emotions
In the process of children's growth, there will be three rebellious periods, children in the rebellious period are very difficult to manage, so parents are easy to lose control of the phenomenon, using a simple and rough way to teach children, do not know that parents such behavior, not only will not let the child realize their own problems, but also lead to rebellious behavior of children.
#4
Emotion is a "knife" that can poke at the child's sore spot, leaving a scar that is difficult to recover from the child, and emotion is a "good medicine" to make the child grow up better and healthily. Therefore, in the process of educating their children, parents must control their emotions, so what should parents do? When children are crying and have already had emotional collapse, parents should control their emotions and withstand strong psychological pressure.
If only the child has a problem, the parents just need to try to untie the knot; if both parties are out of control, it will escalate into a parent-child conflict.
Especially in public places, parents need to stabilize their emotions, avoid anger, and do not care about the eyes and thoughts of strangers, and they will be much calmer.
We are not perfect adults, and we must also allow our children's growth to be wrong.
Children make mistakes, and don't we adults do the same? Who can guarantee that they will not do wrong? Therefore, we who are not perfect should also look at the problem of children with a normal mentality. We can put forward relatively high standards for children, but we should also be mentally prepared for children's failure to meet the requirements.
Therefore, don't always use other people's children as a standard for demanding your own children, the problems of other people's children are just that you can't see them.
When you feel that your emotions are about to explode, you may wish to calm down, drink a glass of water, and give yourself a buffer time;
When the emotions settle down, and then think about what we need and what we want to do, then it is difficult for negative emotions to affect us.
Only when parents control their emotions can we have the opportunity to "live in peace" with our children.
Only when parents control their emotions can they treat their children's mistakes with a calm mind in their daily lives, and can they face their children's every growth more rationally.
Source: Capital Education