01
What do women who have experienced betrayal see through? I've heard a summary like this that says:
"Marriage or extramarital affairs, everything is a trade-off. Men are not inseparable from their wives, but they cannot gamble on everything they have, and they are too much involved; even if the lover likes it again, he can endure it, and he can lose it without dying. So still loving the family is just a high-sounding excuse. ”
For the wife, there are many possibilities behind the inseparable, including interests, entanglements, and growth, but the possibility of love must be removed.
Because love is not a loud slogan, at least when truly loving someone, you can take into account her feelings, as well as take care of her feelings.
Looking at the act of betrayal in turn, no one knows whether betrayal is wrong or hurt, but if he still does it, it can only show that he is not afraid of hurting her, nor is he afraid of losing her.
Ten thousand steps back, even if he loves her, this love is not enough, it is more love for himself.
Then in order to return to the family for the sake of interests, you can't directly confess that you are because of interests, and you need a good and reasonable name to appease your wife's emotions and psychology, that is, "I still love you." Although many women don't care, for the same reason, just rush to get by.
Then for the lover on the outside, the man may just use her as the spice of his own married life, and when the freshness is over, he wants to kick it away. But when men begin to walk into extramarital love, feelings become the most uncertain unknown factor, so men also have the psychology of gambling.
After all, people are emotional animals, and after a long time with kittens and puppies, they will also have feelings. It's just that men are rational, for them, giving up a love, no matter how painful it is, it is also bearable, at most it is a period of emotional torture, and interests are the focus of life.
Yes, marriage, extramarital love, return to family? In fact, women think of men as simple!
02
Liang Ting (pseudonym) forgives her husband for cheating for two reasons, one is soft-hearted, the other is simple. She really believed what her husband said: "I still love you, I don't have feelings for her at all, just play." Then when Liang Ting found out, she hardly hesitated and chose to break off the relationship.
But in fact, such decisiveness and firmness are also deliberately shown to Liang Ting, in order to confuse Liang Ting, or to prove what they said, the two people really have no feelings.
Later, after two or three days of careful consideration, he felt that he could not divorce and could not affect his family life, otherwise the impact on his life was simply immeasurable. Then there is only one option left, to end the extramarital relationship, and the rest is not important.
Of course, the husband has all kinds of promises and guarantees for Liang Ting, and Liang Ting has not simply listened to his assurances, so the husband also has practical actions.
For more than half a year, the husband became self-contained, did not go out to drink or play, and basically did not touch his mobile phone when he was at home. At the same time, it is also particularly good for Liang Ting, all kinds of patience and carefulness, cooking for her to eat in different ways, and taking the initiative to undertake housework.
However, the husband only showed for more than half a year, which is also how Liang Ting slowly figured it out, and the reason why her husband has changed is because he needs to soothe her emotions and stabilize each other's relationship and life.
Immediately after, the husband became more indifferent than before, there was something no longer shared with Liang Ting, and he also lost his enthusiasm and tenderness for her, often sitting by the window in a daze, which also made Liang Ting understand, probably thinking of an impossible person in his heart, recalling the warmth of the years.
In fact, Liang Ting understood everything, and understood that she had thought of her husband too simply before, although she had been sleeping in the same bed for nearly ten spring and autumn.
Choosing to return to the family is not necessarily because I love you, and I will change my appearance to be good to you in the future, nor is it necessarily really guilty, and I feel sorry for you in my heart. The reverse is also true, the person who was abandoned by him does not mean that he is really emotionless, and even if he only feels guilty about her, and then makes her more and more moving in his memories.
Love and not love are barely coming, people who like you, always keep doing things like you, people who don't love you, always pretend to do things like you, everything is not by mouth.
03
There are two kinds of pain in this world, one is the pain of injury, and the other is the pain of choice. In fact, the pain we suffer, the latter is more, but on the surface, it is the pain of injury, if it is not our own choice in the front, the later will not bear so much.
For men and women alike, a lot of the pain is our own choice. Or, in a way, not starting out is also protecting and treating yourself well.
Why is it painful to make a choice?
It is because from the very beginning, we did not see the truth of the matter, and finally made a choice against our own intentions, or after the choice, the development and progress of things did not follow our own expectations.
If you know that he does not love you and does not ask him to love you, then after you choose, there will be no more expectations of love, and there will be no pain of expectation failure. In this matter, it is always a very test of our wisdom and courage, not to see what you choose, but to see what choice, which can keep your heart calm and frank.
In fact, time is the best answer, no matter how to act at that time, you can only achieve the effect at that time, and two people together, there is still a long way to go, unless that cold day is what you want.
Compared with the tiredness that will occur after a long time together, there is a contrast, and having a comparison is the biggest harm, which will affect you subtly. Many of the pains of life are only brought by themselves, if extramarital love comes to the end, it is always necessary to make a choice, and it is inevitable to bear the pain of choice, but it is better to not make a choice at the beginning and keep your family in a down-to-earth manner.
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