Author | Xu Muxin Shen Jiayin
Source | Vista Growth Lab (ID: vistaedulab)
On January 7, according to Bloomberg billionaire list data, 49-year-old Elon Musk surpassed Jeff Bezos to become the world's new richest man with a value of $195 billion.
Musk always said that his success came from his mother's cultivation and her maverick character. Meyer Musk, the 62-year-old supermodel who appeared in full nude for time, has a life that is not easy to open and hang. From an early age, she traveled the world with her parents, her marriage failed, she traveled to three countries, and she raised three children to grow up alone. At the age of 67, she made her debut at New York Fashion Week, walking the catwalk with girls who were only a third her age.
01
73-year-old supermodel
Over the past year, like her son Musk, Meyer has been busy. Her autobiography, Life by Me, has been published in more than a dozen countries and regions, including China. On Twitter, she also has fans from all over the world. A 19-year-old girl said in a private message: "You're so great, I can't wait until 52 years later to become like you too!" ”
Meyer and the English edition of Life by Me, shot backstage
Meyer, 73, is slim, with silver hair, bright lipstick, and the corners of her mouth are raised, and only wrinkles at the corners of her eyes can reveal her true age.
In her fifties, Meyer was casting for a beauty commercial, and the director exclaimed, "You're so beautiful." Meyer smiled and replied, "Well, isn't that the premise for me to be here?" ”
Beauty may be a model's lifelong accomplishment, and when Meyer first went on the catwalk at the age of fifteen, people told her that a model's career usually ends at the age of eighteen.
But Meyer's career took off after she let her hair turn white at the age of 59. At the age of 62, when Time magazine invited her to do nude photography as a model, her response was: "No, I will never be naked." But after talking to the kids, she slowly changed her attitude — she's been saying "no" to nude shooting for fifty years, so why not give it a try?
The shoot went well, and New York magazine later invited her to appear naked again. This time, the magazine wanted her to appear as a pregnant woman. They used PS to make Meyer p pregnant, and the photo later appeared in newspapers around the world with the headline: "Is she too old?" New parents over the age of fifty – the last frontier of parenting. At the age of 69, she actually became the spokesperson for the makeup brand "Cover Girl".
Last year, Meyer said to me, "You can take risks at any age, because what's there to lose?" Age doesn't stand in the way of a woman's career, just as age never gets in the way of a man. ”
02
"There's nothing the Musk family can't do!"
Musk is known as "Iron Man", but in front of his ancestors, he is simply not worth mentioning. After all, in the 1950s, his grandparents took a few young children and flew all over the world.
Meyer was born in Canada in 1948 to a doctor father and a dancer mother who loved flying. When he was in Canada, his whole family was thought to be crazy, because When Meyer was three months old, he traveled with his twins on a plane with his parents.
They traveled around more than sixty countries. Their planes had neither GPS nor radios, but relied on compasses and maps. Sometimes they are even forced to land on a sports field or on the street because there is no local airport.
When Meyer was two years old, her parents decided to emigrate to South Africa because some missionaries who had been to South Africa painted them with beautiful views. So they packed up the plane and a Cadillac from 1948 and boarded a cargo ship with the sisters and two other children, ages 6 and 8. Two months later, they finally arrived in South Africa.
In 1956, Meyer's family traveled to the Kalahari Desert, from left to right: Older Brother Sko, Older Sister Kay, Meyer, Younger Brother Lee, and Older Sister Lynn
Meyer's father sometimes took his family on trips through the desert in search of the Lost City, even though the journey was fraught with danger. A trip through the desert usually lasts three weeks, so Meyer's parents stuffed three weeks of food, water and gas and children into the car.
They brought everything they needed. Meyer and her sister had only a bowl of water to wash every morning and evening. But the desert nights were so cold that the water froze into ice. They had to break the ice in the morning to wash it. "Comfort is not a necessity of life, and you can live well in the absence of supplies." Meyer said.
When parents plan their next route, several of their children read a book. They plan well and are always ready to deal with sudden obstacles. Once, their drinking water was accidentally mixed with gasoline, and there was no choice, so the family had to drink this "gasoline water" first, and then find fresh water as soon as possible. Everyone acted very calmly.
One other winter night, a lion stood in the camp. Meyer's father shouted and fired several shots at the lion's head, but the lion did not react and slowly left the camp. The lioness was waiting outside the camp, so her father drove them out. Finally, the two lions climbed up the dunes next to the camp, where they were stared at for an entire morning. Her father didn't look scared. Of course, even if he was afraid, he would not show it.
Meyer recalls that her father's calm attitude gave the whole family a sense of peace of mind, as they did in their family motto, "Live risky and prudently." Meyer's father used to say, "There's nothing the Holdmans can't do!" Now what Meyer is going to say is, "There's nothing that musk people can't do!" ”
03
Leave the bastard husband,
Raised three children alone
However, the hurried marriage of her youth brought Meyer into the lowest period of her life, and her husband was violent and liked to belittle her self-esteem and value.
Meyer recalled that before she gave birth to Musk, she was still painting her husband. She had to slow down every time her uterus contracted, and her husband went so far as to say, "Even if it's a contraction, you don't have to slow down." He refused to take Meyer to the hospital and dragged her until her contractions were only five minutes apart. He said, "You are lazy and weak. ”
When they got to the hospital, the nurse said to Meyer's husband, "Rub your wife's back so she can be more comfortable." His answer was, "What do you mean?" It was she who came to massage my back. Look at what stool you've given me, I've got to go!" You call me again five minutes before she gives birth! "He's such a cruel man.
What made Meyer even more unbearable was her husband's endless domestic violence, so at the age of 31 , the year South Africa passed divorce laws , Meyer successfully divorced. She left the house with 3 children and gave up a lot of her possessions just to get away from this terrible husband.
In 1972, Meyer and 1-year-old Elon Musk
Meyer, who opened the "Copy of a Single Mother," raised three children on her own. Looking back on that time, Meyer told me that the biggest difficulty came from poverty, because of poverty, the whole family could not go out to eat, could not watch movies.
So Meyer started a business, using a dietitian's license to open a clinic. Although the children were unlikely to see their mother, Meyer never regretted it. She said that instead of not having a job, just spending time with the children and passing on that feeling of complaining to them, she said, it would be better for them to see a strong mother fighting for the whole family. "For me there is no other choice, I have to give my children a shelter from the wind and rain, so that they can eat and dress warmly, and not go hungry and cold. The children can only learn to be considerate of my work and take care of themselves. ”
While they were living in Bloemfontein, Meyer had her eight-year-old daughter, Tosca, work at the modeling school she ran. She teaches students catwalks, runshows, etiquette classes, and is the makeup artist for all her shows. "I have no choice, I need help. I've never treated them like little ones, never scolded them, or told them what they should learn. They just need to let me know what they're learning or not. ”
Meyer doesn't check the children's homework because that's their responsibility. It turns out that this did not bring harm to their growth, on the contrary, as they get older, each child is willing to take responsibility for the future independently? allow. "We don't have to overprotect our children, it just creates a disconnect between them and reality and responsibility." Meyer table? show.
In Pretoria in 1976, Elon, 5, Tosca, 2, and Kimball, 4
04
Let the child go his own way
Today, Meyer's three children are successful. The boss Musk is the world's new richest man, founded Tesla, and is also carrying out rocket launches. Kimball loves food and is engaged in the catering industry. The youngest daughter, Tosca, runs her own entertainment company, works as a director and screenwriter. Meyer is often asked how to raise successful children. Her response was, "Actually, I just let them follow their interests." ”
Looking back, Meyer found that the three children had shown interest in future careers by the age of twelve. When Musk was young, Meyer had noticed that he liked to read everything and never forgot it. They called him "Elon's Encyclopedia" because he had read the Encyclopedia Britannica and the Collier's Encyclopedia and remembered everything in the book.
At the age of 12, Musk acquired his first computer — in 1983, computers were still extremely novel. Musk soon learned to use a computer and wrote a tour in code called Blastar. play. Meyer asked him to submit the game to Computer Magazine, which then sent him $500 in return. Meyer didn't think the magazine knew the game creator was only 12 years old, and she didn't know how far Musk could go down that path. However, she feels that what she has to do as a parent is to support and encourage her children's interests.
In 1982, the dedicated Elon Musk (11 years old)
A few years later, 17-year-old Musk wanted to go to Canada, so Meyer gave him an address book and a two-thousand-dollar traveler's check. For Musk, North America is clearly more suitable for him to develop his interest in computers. Musk took the money and went alone to relatives in Canada. The youngest daughter, Tosca, was also very supportive of the idea.
At the time, Meyer's career in South Africa was booming, but 15-year-old Tosca couldn't wait to move to Canada: "If we don't move now, I'll go to Canada myself." ”
No way, Meyer went to Canada to look for opportunities to continue her career in nutrition. Three weeks later, when she returned to South Africa, she found that Tosca had sold her family's house and car. The only thing Meyer could do was sign the documents and quickly move to Canada.
Many people have asked Meyer why she is angry with her daughter for this matter. Meyer believes that the move was decided, and all Tosca did was to speed up the process. "Although my career in South Africa is at its peak, now that the children have foreseen their future in the Americas, I can use Canada as a new starting point."
In her forties, Meyer, who immigrated to Canada, finally gained a foothold and worked at the University of Toronto. Originally, her three children were free to study medicine or law here, and they did not have to pay rent to live with her. But all three children preferred to apply for student loans instead of majoring in their favorites. With Meyer not even having seen the application materials, all three children independently applied for college, scholarships and student loans.
Many parents have endless hearts for their children, and Meyer has seen such cases when she did nutrition counseling. In order for their children to get into a good school, parents need to fill out a large number of forms, and some of them will even start overeating because of such pressure. In this regard, Meyer's advice is that children should learn to take responsibility for their future, and parents can only support them. For example, if children prefer to start a business, support them. "As a parent, you can teach your child to develop good habits, but you can't help them decide what they want to do in the future."
Not long after gaining a foothold in Canada, all three of their children turned to the United States for development. Meyer followed, once again choosing to start from zero. Such confidence may come from a legendary family, but Meyer believes that even if you are born confident, in real life, confidence may still be broken again and again, and then rebuilt. "The best-case scenario is that our sluggish time can gradually shorten with age. In my seventies, you might think I'm less confident, but I'm more confident now because I'm no longer worried about rejection or being insulted. ”
In 1995, Elon Musk and Meyer discussed revising the manuscript of her first book
At the end of the prologue to Life by Me, Meyer encourages the reader: "All your wishes can be fulfilled, even if your wishes are to fly to Mars!" It was also as if it was being said to her proud eldest son.