I live in a small county in the Lunan area, and after graduating from college, I worked as a teacher in a private school for a few years, and lived a few years of comfortable life in a plain, stable and idyllic manner. Because the teachers in the private school were not well organized and not too stable, they were admitted to the civil service and went to work in a township. In my township, I was the second comrade to pass the examination to obtain the status of civil servant, and the leader may think that it is worth cultivating, so in the third year of coming to the town, I was assigned to work in the research room, and since then I have formed an indissoluble relationship with the material.
As for the comrades who write materials in the organs, we are respectfully called "big pen poles", "a pen", and "the secretary's small cotton jacket", which is recognized as the most bitter and tiring work in the organs. When I was the head of the research office, I successively talked to more than a dozen young comrades, and all of them shook their heads as soon as they heard it, and none of them wanted to write materials; the most tiring thing is that many times they do not come to work until they leave work, and when they come to work, they have to work overtime. There are two deep feelings, that is, "mouth blistering, yellow urine, can't sleep at night", "a bald pen, two sleeves of fresh wind, three meals tasteless, seven (wife) children complaining, nine (wine) did not drink, very helpless", it is a handful of bitter tears.
The writing post is characterized by a large workload, fast pace, high requirements, and a ready to accept new tasks at any time and anywhere, and the spirit is always highly tense. One year, in the first half of the year alone, I wrote more than 300 manuscripts of various kinds, and some of the materials had to be revised several times, or even a dozen times. Overall, an average of two manuscripts a day, at least 2,000 words, writing these two thousand words of manuscripts, calculated by multiplying by ten, at least 20,000 words of information, at least a few hours of thinking. And the content of the material is mixed, many, some of the materials themselves are not familiar, at least have to take half a day to understand the situation, consult the information, some are now learned and sold, it can be said that such a large workload is not overtime can not be completed. So, for me personally, there are almost no normal points when I leave work, and there are almost no holidays. The suddenness of the text work is very strong, there may be material at any time, and there is no off-season all year round. Even if there is no material, it does not dare to slacken off, and it must always be in a state of war. For a while, I was particularly afraid of the phone ringing, and my heart tightened as soon as it rang. The heart is always like pressing a big stone, breathless, invisibly increasing the sense of exhaustion.
No matter what level of unit, the research office is the most difficult department of the unit, a clear qingshui yamen that can no longer be clear, the treatment in the organ is basically the lowest, there is no special post, no subsidy, no overtime pay, no holiday fee. We generally don't go out to eat or party, one is that we don't have time, the other is that we don't have money, and the third is that no one invites, and we always write material silently in the forgotten corners. At that time, I and other comrades in the research room worked in an office, and an electric fan spent the middle of summer all year round, often sweating and working overtime, and I really had to go to other people's offices to rub the air conditioner, and came back to continue writing.
In our line of work, we do not have the spirit of enduring loneliness and keeping poverty, and we are impetuous all day long, and it is impossible to write good articles. In the face of complicated times and wonderful worlds, it is difficult to maintain a peaceful mind. At night, when we work overtime, the building is dark, only our office is lit up; when we work overtime on holidays, the building is silent, and only we sit in the office. Sometimes standing in front of the window and looking at the lights of thousands of homes, looking at the stars in the sky, there is an indescribable taste in my heart. A friend of mine said a very wonderful sentence, "How is the gap between people so big, the same is often to go home in the middle of the night, people are eating and drinking until midnight, you are working overtime until midnight, eating and drinking is better than the treatment of your hard work, and making more money." ”
What makes me most sad is that due to the long-term overtime, I simply take care of my family and owe a lot of family and affection accounts. It is said that raising children to prevent the elderly, marrying and dressing, but many of the responsibilities that should be fulfilled as sons, husbands, and fathers are not fulfilled and not done well. Home for us is an inn, a laundry room. Usually, there is little time to spend with the family, including holidays. What is missing at home, what is missing, what is done, basically do not tell me, buy food, buy oil, tutor children, these things should be done by me, my lover silently bears.
Speaking from the heart, there is also resentment in the face of bitter conditions, but never resentment; in the face of heavy work pressure is great, but never overwhelmed; in the face of the wonderful world, the heart is also unbalanced, but never unbalanced. Sometimes I wonder what motivates us to work so hard. I do not deny that there are utilitarian factors in this, and I want to fight for a future through my own struggle, but also to have an explanation for my family and a comfort to myself, which is also the common feeling of people and the right way in the world. But if it is only for the sake of being an official, then the motivation to become an official should be gone. So fighting for the future is only a driving force for us to move forward, but it is not the most fundamental motivation. I think there are three fundamental dynamics.
The first is firm ideals and beliefs and the pursuit of life without regrets. People should always do a few things that contribute to society in this life, and only in this way can they not waste this life. I am engaged in material work, but in essence, it is decision-making suggestions, senior advice, work summary, experience promotion, work planning, strategic planning, and the façade and brain of a unit. When my suggestions are adopted by the leaders and translated into the decision-making and deployment of the party committee and government, I will feel very relieved, proud, and feel that I have a very valuable life. The sufferings and sins suffered are nothing compared to this sense of accomplishment.
The second is the leading force of excellent environmental impact and example. The comrades who can persist in writing materials for several years are good comrades who are conscientious, hard-working, and willing to dedicate, and there are many such comrades around me, and I see in them what is called "professionalism", what is "heavenly reward for diligence", what is "no need to whip oneself up", what is "not to be happy with things, not to be sad", they subtly lead me, infect me, and touch me.
The third is a strong fighting mentality and a fearless will to fight. I think that whether it is to be a person or to do things, it depends on a breath, and it depends on a force. In fact, the material is the most able to test a person's work attitude and mental state. Whether to deal with writing or to write with heart, you can see it at a glance through the article. Although it is less affected to fool around, it will lose the trust of the leaders and comrades, and finally delay yourself. In my eyes, words are alive and alive. Writing official documents is also like creating literary and artistic works, full of passion and dedication to produce fine works. I often write a piece of material for this, can't eat, can't sleep, sometimes go to bed at night to think of a good advice, immediately get up and write it down. I always feel that writing material horizontally and vertically is a bitter one, and since I have done it, I must take out my spirit and do it. In my opinion, writing material is like fighting a war, you have to have a bit of a bright sword spirit, and handing in the manuscript at 8 o'clock in the morning is to take the high ground before 8 o'clock.
Although writing material is very hard, there are also times to return to sweetness, calm down and think, and there are many gains. It can be said that writing materials especially exercise people, sharpen people, improve people, with this life experience, to what unit, what work is not disturbed. What you endure is suffering, what you pay is hard work, but what you gain is knowledge, it is thought, and it is ability, and these gains can be used for a lifetime. "Cadres in the writing post are not leaders, but they must think about problems from the perspective of leaders; they should not make decisions, but they must come up with suggestions for decision-making." This special nature and requirements of work prompt us to continue to study, to investigate, to innovate, to think, and to accumulate over time, the quality and ability will naturally improve, and the vision of the problem will be broadened. There is also a very important point, that is, we are very close to the decision-making center, and we can hear, learn, and understand the ideological context, working methods, and leadership art of leadership most directly, clearly, and quickly, which cannot be learned in any school or any textbook, which is our greatest gain.