I am a stay-at-home mom, a stay-at-home mom who is constantly fulfilling her self-worth. Reject anxiety, refuse "inner volume", easy parenting, rational treatment of married life, tolerant response to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, I hope that some of my views can make you suddenly enlightened, can bring you positive energy, and solve your practical problems.
Wen | has a small bell pepper (the original is not easy, please do not copy, welcome to personal reprint and share)
Figure| source network (if there is infringement, please contact to delete)
As a parent, of course, I hope that my child will become a "genius" and a "school bully".
However, academics and geniuses are rare after all.
In the end, they can become a bully and a genius, and they are very few children.
This is a reality, although many parents are reluctant to believe that their children have mediocre qualifications, but it is true that most children do not have the potential to be "geniuses".
Dr. "Tiger Dad" forced his 7-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter to count high, and was strongly forbidden
There is a doctor in Nanjing, "Tiger Dad", who is full of hope for a pair of children.
It may be because he is a bully and has higher expectations for his children.
The father asked his 7-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter to learn literature and mathematics.
Every day, children are forced to learn until late at night, and they often use vicious language to insult and even scold.
In order to protect the two children, the mother called the police to deal with it.
Finally, in order to protect the two children and avoid continued "mental abuse" by their fathers, this doctoral "tiger father" was forcibly banned.
Let the daughter, who is only 5 years old and still in kindergarten, and the son who is in the first grade to learn high numbers, this father is too anxious.
Such a young child, who still does not understand the meaning of high numbers, even if they learn some fur under the coercion of their fathers, what is the benefit of their lifelong learning?
No, it would be counterproductive.
Lifelong learning must be based on interest, children do not understand high numbers at all, the meaning of high numbers can not be recognized at all, under the coercion of dad forced learning, can only increase their antipathy to high numbers.
This in turn increases their aversion to learning.
This is not a good start.
The child's internal drive is the key to learning good knowledge
Forced to learn, even if there is a short-term effect, there will be a more serious backlash in the future.
For children, the internal drive is the most critical.
Children should take the initiative to learn, be willing to learn, and get interest from learning, which is the beginning of a good learning habit.
Any form of coercion and inducement is not a good start, and it lays the groundwork for children to hate learning.
When I was in college, there was a bully in my major, and it is said that when I was in high school, I was in the top ten in school.
His school is the city key, the top ten city key, must not come to our school, but the reality is that he came to our school, and the performance is very poor.
The university has been hanging up for four consecutive years and has opened the release mode.
Later, I learned from the mouths of his classmates in the major that he was completely a manifestation of bottoming out.
Growing up, he was under the strict supervision of his parents, focused on learning, and was even forced to deprive him of all interests and hobbies.
All his study time had been forced out before his college entrance examination, and he dreamed of going to college, because his parents said that after going to college, he would no longer interfere in his studies.
However, in the end, he was not able to fulfill his parents' wishes, and he was not able to enter Tsinghua Peking University, in fact, the university he attended was very far from this goal.
His parents were not willing and wanted him to re-read, but he resolutely disagreed, and even forced him to die, and finally his parents compromised.
This is a typical example of a lack of internal drive, he has been driven away by his parents, he can not even stop thinking, can only "catch the duck on the shelf" so as not to be too painful.
After that, he completely let himself go, and when he graduated, he didn't get a bachelor's degree, and he barely got it the next year.
Children who lack internal drive are terrible, and their lives will be ruined by this.
Because they don't know what they want to do or what they want, all they can think of is "freedom."
How is your child's drive gained?
So the question is, is the child's internal drive innate? Or is it affected by the acquired environment?
The internal drive is directly related to the nurturing environment and the guidance of parents.
In a simple sentence, for children to form an internal driving force for active learning, what is needed is "encouragement", not "persecution".
When will children have the "internal drive" to learn and take the initiative to learn?
When the child is interested, when learning can bring the child pleasure.
And persecution learning must not bring children such an experience, parental persecution can only bring children panic, resistance psychology.
Once a child develops panic and resistance, learning will become their most painful thing.
How can children be interested in learning?
When the child gets pleasure from learning, interest arises.
And this pleasure comes from opening the door to a new world and expanding new knowledge; this pleasure comes from making them more and more fulfilled with their input; this pleasure comes from the joy of having people who can empathize with them after learning new knowledge; this pleasure comes from the fact that they can solve the common problems in existing life through the knowledge they have learned.
Therefore, guiding children to find the right way to acquire knowledge, and giving children encouragement in time and guiding children to apply what they have learned is the way to make children truly fall in love with learning.
We don't need our children to become school bullies, as parents, we need to guide our children to become a person with internal driving force, and guide children to become a person who is willing to live a full life through learning.
Children's talents are different, even if they really like learning, they may not be able to reach the highest point because of their talents.
But for the child, he has mastered the basic skills of survival, and this is enough.