Reading at night can best reflect a person's cultivation

Text/Du Lanjun

There is a saying in the "Night Talk of the Hearth": "But blame yourself, do not blame others, this way of resentment is also." ”

Dealing with people, strict requirements for themselves, and tolerance for others are the top personality charm.

Being magnanimous, full of upbringing, able to turn hostility into peace, the road of life must be wider and wider.

Not blaming in case of trouble is the top cultivation

There was a photo on the Internet that touched many netizens.

A couple was driving home when the wife accidentally put the car on a fire hydrant, causing the car to overturn.

Fortunately, the speed of the car was not fast, and the two people were only slightly injured. The husband did not express dissatisfaction and blame, but after confirming that his wife and himself were not in serious trouble, he proposed to take a photo. He felt that all the troubles with his wife were worth recording, and these things were worth laughing at for a year or reminiscing for a long time in the years to come.

In this case, the wife certainly did not mean it, she naturally knew that it was her own mistake, and her heart was full of guilt and fear. At this time, the husband calmed down in time, and took into account his wife's inner feelings, understood her, comforted her, and finally turned the accident into a story.

Life inevitably has big ups and downs, and the reaction before the predicament is often the best touchstone of a relationship. The husband's behavior is a good interpretation of the wisdom of the husband and wife.

The most important thing between feelings is not to argue for a right or wrong in case of trouble, but to understand that love is more important than reason.

Make mistakes, no one wants to. The car is broken, it is an established fact, no matter how much you blame, you can't get it back. If you only care about pouring out your emotions, and do not think that the other party is actually remorseful and self-blamed in his heart, it will only add fuel to the fire and will not help to solve the problem. What matters is how to avoid making the same mistakes again.

Knowing how to empathize and empathize best reflects a person's cultivation.

Lao Tzu said, "The journey of the great avenue is not to blame anyone." "To have an inclusive heart for people and not to blame in case of trouble is not cowardice and compromise, but a realm, but a kind of wisdom."

Be strict with yourself and be lenient with others

There are three interpretations of "qi quantity" in the dictionary, one refers to the level of talent and morality, the second refers to the measure that can accommodate different opinions, and the third refers to the limit of tolerance and humility. "Qi" is wisdom, tolerance and control.

We all admire those who have a lot of energy, they "can hold a boat in the belly of the prime minister", they can endure what others cannot tolerate, they cannot tolerate others, and they cannot tolerate others. Broad-mindedness and generous character often become the serious focus of others, and people trust such people more.

On the contrary, people with small qi and self-righteousness are more arrogant to people. Most people tend to see the faults of others more easily, and rarely take the initiative to recognize their own mistakes.

Throughout his life, Confucius demanded of himself by "don't be me." "Don't be me", that is, don't be too self-righteous and indulge in yourself. When we encounter something, we can't be aggressive when we're at an advantage; we can't blame others when we're at a disadvantage. To be lenient with others is to liberate others, but also to cultivate oneself.

As the old saying goes, "But if you believe in yourself and do not believe in others, the reason for this defeat is also." "If you only follow your own thoughts and cannot listen to the opinions of others, it is easy to cause failure." The so-called simultaneous listening is clear, and only by listening to a few more words can we make a more rational judgment. If you really want to achieve something, it's important to listen to other people's opinions.

"To be well-being, you have to step out of yourself and into the lives of others." Escaping blind confidence in yourself and trying to accept the perspective of others to see the problem is of great benefit to yourself.

He who is tolerant will be blessed

Zhang Chao, a Qing Dynasty man, once wrote in "Shadow of Dreams": "It is advisable to bring the autumn wind to discipline oneself, and to bring the spring wind to the affairs." Ask yourself to be as harsh as the autumn wind, and treat others like spring.

The higher the level of people, the more they know how to think about others from the heart, treat others sincerely, tolerate others, and get along with people feel like a spring breeze.

The ancients said: "A humble gentleman, gentle as jade." ”

Treat others too harshly and calculatingly, it is difficult to make true friends, after all, it is hurtful to yourself. And humble, gentle, magnanimous, always have others in their hearts, just like warm jade, let people feel comfortable, warm, and have a good heart.

Anyone who has more tolerance will often be the biggest beneficiary.