In "Dream of the Red Chamber", the dispute between Dai Dai has never subsided, and the biggest disagreement between Dai Yu and Bao Chao is mainly that many readers think that Lin Daiyu is stingy, that is, the "little sex" mentioned in the book, referring to Dai Yu's narrow-mindedness, too picky about people and things, a mean and harsh personality, like to joke about other people's shortcomings, often crying and noisy, not open-minded and cheerful, not as easy-going and steady as Bao Chao.
Readers who hold this view are not out of thin air, and their views have enough factual basis. Let's take it one by one.
The most obvious person who thinks that Dai Yu is small is Shi Xiangyun, who once said in front of Jia Baoyu that Dai Yu is "a small sex child, the action loves annoying people, and will control you." These few words, in simple terms, refer to Daiyu's stinginess, her temper tantrums at every turn, her frequent dissatisfaction or irritation at the words and deeds of others, and her control over Baoyu.
If you look closely at Xiangyun, there is also a basis. Dai Yu, who had just entered Jia Province, did cry often, and had some modest and generous words and deeds, as for her "dominating Bao Yu", it was mainly because there were subtle and imperceptible feelings between Bao Yu and Dai Yu at that time, which was a very common phenomenon in the children in love, not a personality or personality problem.
The reason why Xiangyun felt that there was a problem was because she failed to find that the feelings between Baoyu Daiyu and Daiyu were different from others, which was difficult for Xiangyun, who had a big grin, to detect, because she never slightly lingered on her children's private feelings.
Bao Yu's nurse, Aunt Li, also said that Dai Yu said a sentence, "sharper than a knife." But objectively speaking, privately thinking that combined with the scene at that time, Aunt Li said that this was selfish. She just didn't want Baoyu to drink more, but in fact, Baoyu didn't hurt to drink more at Aunt Xue's house, Dai Yu was just a glimpse of Grandma Li's selfishness and poked it.
It was only in Aunt Li's eyes that her careful thinking was punctured by Aunt Lin that she felt that Dai Yu's speech was sharper than a knife. In fact, this incident is just a proof that Dai Yu has a delicate heart, can see the minds of others, thinks quickly, and is eloquent.
In another example, it was Hongyu who thought that his private affairs had been heard by Daiyu because Baochao had used the golden cicada to get out of his shell, and he was very anxious and worried. In the meantime, Hongyu said these words to Xiang'er: "If Lady Bao hears it, it will be enough." Lin Girl's mouth loves to be mean, and her heart is thin, as soon as he hears it, if he leaks the sound of the wind, how about it? ”
But Hongyu's worries were a little hollow.
First of all, from a psychological point of view, when a person is in a state of tension and anxiety, it is easy to lose measure and reason, even if it is a clever and clever hongyu, it is inevitable.
Secondly, Hongyu is just a rough little girl in Yihong Courtyard who does sprinkling sweeping and carrying water, she does not know her serious master Baoyu, Baochao knows her as an exception, although Dai Yu and Baoyu have a diligent exchange, they may not know that there is such a person as Hongyu, and even Tanchun may not be able to call The name of Hongyu, so from this point of view, Hongyu's worries are a bit mediocre. Moreover, according to Bao Chao, when Hongyu and Xiang'er were talking, even if Dai Yu was eavesdropping, she might not be able to judge which girl was the girl by sound.
In the end, although Dai Yu loves to joke about children, she also knows the measure and weight, and knows how to stop at the right time. She makes fun of others, at least on the basis of not deliberately hurting others.
The exchange of handkerchiefs between Hongyu and Jia Yun is not a big deal if it is said to be small, but if someone deliberately adds oil and vinegar, it is also a big thing, it is related to weathering, such a thing, Dai Yu will not joke or deliberately slander.
Throughout the book of "Dream of the Red Chamber", Dai Yu has never had undue hostility towards others, except for some slight schadenfreude thoughts about her imaginary love enemy Bao Chao. Hongyu's unfounded worry was due to the reaction under great anxiety and panic.
In addition to the above few examples, Dai Yu also coldly criticized the Zhou Rui family's sending palace flowers, "Or send me alone, or do other girls have it?" "I just knew that others wouldn't pick the rest and wouldn't give it to me. Thank you for me! ”
If you put aside the personality factor, from the perspective of the art of imperial descent and the way of self-treatment, Dai Yu has done nothing wrong.
Although Dai Yu seemed mean, the Zhou Rui family had always been as bullying and afraid of hard as other servants. At that time, Dai Yu had just arrived in Jia Province, and she was not a girl of the Jia family, but a girl from a relative's family, and the flowers were sent from the Baochao family. Thinking that Yingchun, the second girl, was later bullied to the face by the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in the house, and even the silk golden phoenix was stolen, if Dai Yu received the palace flowers so quietly, then she would probably be bullied by the people below in the future.
Either you will be bullied by the people below your grandmother's house from time to time in the future, or you will maintain your dignity and fall into a stingy and mean reputation for peace, if it is you, which one will you choose?
The above listed four things, from the analysis, it can be seen that Daiyu's small nature is for a reason. Now let's see a real Lin Daiyu.
Dai Yu is indeed a little sensitive and arrogant, if you distinguish her personality from introversion or extroversion, Dai Yu is of course introverted.
But unlike the other two ladies of the Jia family, Yingchun and Xichun, although Dai Yu is introverted, she is also introverted, and her personality is richer than that of Yingchun and Xichun. She is more energetic than Yingchun, and she is not as lonely as Xichun.
Also like an orphan girl under the fence, Dai Yu and Yingchun and Xi Chun have their own grievances and loneliness. Although Yingchun and Xichun's parents and sisters-in-law are as if they were none, while Daiyu is pampered in her grandmother's house, she actually has no father and no mother, and she is also alone. Dai Yu has moments of closing her heart, but she also has the need to share joy and feelings with others, which is the biggest difference between her and Yingchun and Xichun.
Xiangling wanted to learn poetry, Dai Yu showed great enthusiasm, pointed out very detailed, tirelessly, and taught carefully, and later Xiangling really lived up to expectations, and could be regarded as a member of the Grand View Garden Poetry Society.
Bao Chao sent a mother-in-law to send bird's nest to Daiyu, and Daiyu thought that it was cold at night, knowing that they still had gambling, so he sent her hundreds of dollars, which showed that Daiyu was still very sympathetic to the people below.
When Jia Hui, the little girl of Yihong Courtyard, went to Xiaoxiang Hall, just in time for Dai Yu to give the little girls money, Dai Yu grabbed a handful of it and gave it to her, which was also very kind.
Daguanyuan opened a poetry club, Li Feng often ranked Dai Yu after Bao Chao's name, Bao Yu repeatedly raised objections, but the party Dai Yu did not mind at all.
The raiders have repeatedly said in front of everyone that Dai Yu is not good, and several times Dai Yu has heard it with his own ears outside the door, but even so, have we seen Dai Yu, as the master, deliberately embarrass the attacker? In addition to teasing her with a "good sister-in-law", Dai Yu did not bother with the attackers at all.
The above several examples can fully show that Dai Yu is not a mean and stingy person, and then from the perspective of age and experience, we will find that Dai Yu's sensitivity and stinginess are related to her growth. Why?
Dai Yu, who has just entered Jia Province, is very young, and has just experienced the pain of losing her mother, it is inevitable that there will be some sensitive and extreme actions, she is always careful and careful, just to maintain her self-esteem and dignity, not to leak a little mistake in front of people, but also to protect herself, not to let the next person look down on herself, despise herself, bully herself. For a little girl who has just arrived in an unfamiliar environment, it is indeed not easy to achieve balance.
As for saying that Dai Yu ruled over Bao Yu, crying and crying in front of him, suffering from gain and loss, it was actually forgivable. She is worried that Jin Yu Liangyuan said that her love with Bao Yu cannot be cultivated to a positive result, and she is worried that Bao Yu "forgot her sister when she saw her sister". She is very dedicated to love, and she also hopes that Baoyu can treat her like this. Before it is impossible to determine whether Baoyu's heart is dedicated to loyalty, her behavior is indeed "making people left is not, right is not", but it has nothing to do with small sex or narrow-mindedness, I believe that young boys and girls who have had similar love experiences can understand.
The good news is that after Dai Yu grew older and her love with Bao Yu gradually moved towards a stable period, Dai Yu not only did not cry with Bao Yu anymore, but even shook hands with Bao Chao to freeze the previous suspicions, and at that time, Dai Yu became truly gentle and easy-going.
Having experienced love and pain, Lin Daiyu is also growing up, and one of the most beautiful landscapes in "Dream of the Red Chamber" is that Dai Yu and Bao Chao JinLanqi cut each other's Jinlan language, grinding each other's edges and corners, these two girls who are also very beautiful and outstanding, and finally move from opposition to unity.
References: "Dream of the Red Chamber Fat Collection", by Cao Xueqin, Comments on Fat Yan Zhai, Yuelu Book Club.