Wen | Mo Xiao Tong (Author of Fu Shu)
I have wondered to myself several times, why is it that after self-discipline, I still have nothing to gain?
It wasn't until after experiencing blows and failures that I suddenly woke up:
Only because of intermittent self-discipline, continuous laziness, and then mistakenly think that self-discipline is difficult, so eventually do nothing.
Someone on the Internet once asked: "Why is self-discipline so difficult that people can't stick to it?" ”
There is a sharp answer: "Your so-called self-discipline is just looking hard, so it will find it difficult to persevere." ”
Li Shanglong wrote in the book "You Just Look Hard": "Any study without a plan is just a show, and any effort that does not have a heart is just a look of hard work." ”
People who really want to be better do not need to be self-moved and forced, and if they want to change, they will be proactive to execute and constantly break through their comfort zone.
Because they all understand that only those who can control themselves can control their own destiny.
Intermittent self-disciplined people are constantly discouraged
A psychologist once summed up such a law: "The early stage of self-discipline is exciting, the middle is painful, and the later stage is enjoyment." ”
There is no shortcut to self-discipline, and it needs to be accumulated continuously, but many people only maintain the excitement in the early stage, can't stand the pain in the middle stage and choose to give up, so that self-discipline stays in the painful stage.
I believe that many people have had a short-term hesitation and ambition, but a long-term process of discouragement:
Want to rebuild the body, confidently make a fitness plan, after exercising a few times, due to muscle soreness to give themselves a holiday, after which they began to fish for three days and dry nets for two days, looking for various reasons to paralyze themselves;
I feel that life is monotonous, I want to enrich myself, I plan to insist on reading for a hundred days, I bought a lot of books, I opened the first one and insisted on it for more than ten days, and then I took a day off because of a bad state on a certain day, and the rest was left untouched on the table........
On the one hand, he was not willing to be idle for the rest of his life, and on the other hand, he could not make up his mind to try to change, so he constantly hovered between blood and escape, forming "intermittent self-discipline and continuous indulgence", and finally gave up in frustration.
This reminds me of the "broken window effect": when a bad thing or behavior comes along, our first reaction is to let it continue to be bad.
We naively thought that by forcing ourselves, we could live a life of self-discipline in our aspirations, but it all ended miserably, because you just looked hard.
Buffett once said, "If you can't restrain yourself in small things, you probably don't restrain yourself in big things." So if you want to become self-disciplined, you have to restrain yourself from small things.
Knowing what you want and being highly disciplined must be a desire from the heart. Desire to be able to do better and become better. ”
My friend came to me remorsefully and cried, "The second examination failed again!" But as a "witness," I am not at all surprised by this result.
In fact, she had been preparing for this examination for two years.
During this time, she bought several countdown tables, kept setting goals, repeatedly wrote daily tasks, and insisted on going to the library, often studying until late at night.
As a result, once went to the library with her, but found that as soon as the mobile phone rang, she immediately replied, and then drank the water toilet, which seemed to be very hard, but in fact, the real effective study was less than an hour, and the information book she brought did not turn two pages in total.
I clearly watched her wasting time, becoming anxious when approaching the exam but not taking the initiative to change, gently advising her, but she always had a reason to let herself intermittently "relax" and settle for the status quo, and finally failed in the graduate school.
In a life of indiscretion, even if it is repeatedly humiliated by fate, it has no power to fight back, and can only passively accept it with discouragement.
Self-discipline is not a long-distance running race, but is made up of sprint relays.
We don't need to set up a lot of flags, make the goal far away from being given up directly in time, but to have specific small goals and plans, and then continue to achieve one by one, forming habits.
The famous novelist Antoni Troop said:
"Get used to this thing, with the power of water drops and stones to wear. A trivial daily thing, if you insist on doing it, can overcome the difficult big things. ”
Therefore, instead of superficial self-discipline, it is better not to be self-disciplined.
The real long-term self-discipline is not to force, not to blindly follow the trend, but to be conscious and stable, to focus on immersion when it is time to struggle, and to relax when it is time to put down and take a good rest.
There are no shortcuts and secrets to success, and planned learning, diligent efforts and non-stop steps will eventually lead to dazzling achievements.
People who are persistently lazy, persistently achieve nothing
Someone once did a survey of hundreds of elderly people: "What is the most regrettable thing in your life?" ”
More than half of them replied, "I regret not working hard when I was young and achieving nothing." ”
If you cannot bear the pain of self-discipline, you must accept the sin of mediocrity.
Hu Shi once wrote such a diary, and after reading it, people couldn't help but be amused:
July 4: This new diary, and in order to push yourself to do more hard work next semester, you must first finish reading Shakespeare's Henry VIII at hand. ”
July 13: Playing cards.
July 14: Playing cards.
July 15: Playing cards.
July 16: Hu Shizhi, Hu Shizhi, how can you be so depraved! Have you forgotten your previous study plan? Zi Yue: "My three provinces and my body", I can't go on like this!
July 17: Playing cards...
Isn't this a true portrayal of human weakness?
Sometimes, we know that something has to be done, but we always find all kinds of excuses to escape, procrastinate again and again, and then waste time and waste years.
Laziness is unconsciously affecting our lives and ruining lives.
As Mr. Yang Dai said: "The geometry of life, how much fine gold can be refined by stubborn iron?" But different degrees of exercise must have different degrees of achievements; different degrees of indulgence and wantonness will accumulate different degrees of stubbornness. ”
Writer Li Shanglong once shared such a story.
When he first went to "New Oriental" as an English teacher, his income was low and his living environment was poor.
But in order to realize the dream, let people's lives be more meaningful, and live better in Beijing.
He desperately prepared lessons, attended classes, and used his free time to study his own, and eventually he became the most popular teacher in New Oriental, wrote bestsellers, and had his own residence in Beijing.
A friend of his, Who drifted north, was inspired and said he had wanted to be a guitarist since he was a child.
But this friend, just fantasizing and waiting, did not take action. I'd rather haggle with a greengrocer at the wet market for a few cents than spend time practicing guitar and then lie in bed and brush off my circle of friends and play games.
As a result, a few years later, friends only occasionally had "guitar dreams" and still complained about low wages in the rental house, and the situation remained the same.
Lu Sihao: "Procrastination and waiting are the easiest things in the world to crush a person's fighting spirit." ”
The saddest thing in life is that I had the opportunity to change, but because of laziness, I became a stumbling block to my fate, and eventually I did nothing in my life and regretted it for the rest of my life.
Lazy for a long time, a little effort, you think you are trying hard, do not know that the result will not deceive people, you will gain what you pay.
Fate will not indulge any lazy person, nor will it fail any hard-working person, and all success is forced by hard work.
I remembered a sentence in "The Tale of the Mountain Moon":
"I was deeply afraid that I was not a beautiful jade, so I did not dare to think about it hard, but I half believed that I was a piece of beautiful jade, so I refused to be mediocre and be with the rubble."
If you are not willing to be mediocre and do nothing for a lifetime, then take advantage of this beautiful year, give yourself a chance, less excuses, and make up your mind to sculpt yourself and be responsible for life.
Whether you are a stone or an ordinary stone, as long as you work hard, it will become a beautiful craft.
Making effort the norm is real self-discipline
The writer Martin has a saying: "True self-discipline is not outward, but inward." It is to make a spiritual request, and then subtly turn this requirement into a standard for doing things as a person. ”
Many people wonder, how did Andy Lau maintain a good figure for 40 years, work and life are so self-disciplined?
He said, "I think the most basic thing is an effort!
No matter how big the dream is, it all starts from an ordinary body. Self-discipline is really a difficult thing, but take effort as a habit, and self-discipline slowly appears. ”
His words can't help but make people think deeply: short-term self-discipline cannot last long, and only by taking self-discipline as a habit can we persevere.
Anthony Robin once said, "What shapes your life is not the occasional thing you do, but what you always insist on doing, and that persistence is what is called self-discipline becoming a habit." ”
The small things persist for a long time, the role is compounded and superimposed, becomes a real habit, and then produces an effect to benefit from it, change life, and open a different height of life.
For excellent people, the so-called self-discipline is actually a habit that has been deeply rooted in the bones.
Dong Qing once said in an interview with Global People: "I have always maintained the habit of reading for an hour before going to bed every day, which is almost invariable. ”
Many people asked her, "Can you stick with it?" Isn't that painful? ”
Dong Qing replied calmly:
"It seems that it doesn't matter whether you insist or not, you are used to it, there is no TV in my bedroom, no mobile phone, no electronic products, this is a habit of mine, quietly read a book and sleep." 」
Seeing this answer, it is not difficult to understand why she was able to read poetry at the "Chinese Poetry Conference" and blurt out the article in "Readers", and the poetry and book temperament that could not be hidden on her body was due to her accumulation of years of reading.
As she said:
"I always believe that all the books I have read will not be read in vain, that it will always help me perform better on some occasion in the coming days, that reading can give people strength, that it can give people happiness." 」
Self-discipline is actually a process of self-game, and only by willingly doing such a thing can we benefit from it.
Haruki Murakami said, "When self-discipline becomes an instinctive habit, you will enjoy its happiness." ”
The process of self-discipline, although difficult and tortured, but the result is beautiful, it can make a person stand out in the mediocre group of inaction.
Self-discipline becomes a part of life, becomes a habit, establishes the norm, such self-discipline is everywhere, without deliberately pretending, you can always feel the freedom and happiness it brings.
People who exercise regularly can experience a light figure in self-discipline;
People who read often can feel a full heart in self-discipline;
People with regular work and rest can enjoy a healthy body in self-discipline.
To truly love yourself is not to indulge yourself in a short period of comfort, to get by and to pass the years and achieve nothing.
Instead, live in the moment, use self-conscious and continuous self-discipline, and strive to do what you want to do and interesting things, so that ordinary people can blossom in a mediocre life.
About the author: Mo Xiaotong (fushu author), and 5 million people to upgrade life cognition, this article source: fu xiaoshu, the copyright of this article belongs to fushu, unauthorized, may not be reproduced, infringement must be investigated
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