Text/Dahui
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In this world, many things are relative, and if there is poverty, there will be wealth, and it is impossible to be completely equal.
But fortunately, we can all change our lives through our own efforts, as long as you dare to pay, be diligent and hardworking, even if you are embarrassed at the moment, no one can say the future road.
What you are afraid of is that you have empty ambitions, but you are not willing to struggle, just blindly living in contrast with others, so that you complain about others, such a person can only live in poverty all his life, it is difficult to get rid of.
If everyone can focus on the only way to a better life, work tirelessly for their own lives, and unswervingly achieve their goals, then there may be a lot less disputes and contradictions in the world.
But in fact, most people can not be undistracted, this is the weakness of human nature, in the pursuit of success on the road, the thorns are so dense, so that they will always be distracted, to peek at the same as other people's lives, hoping to find some after-dinner talk from other people's lives, but also find a lot of interesting comfort.
The more acquaintances around us, the more they will become our contrast, breeding ostentation and comparison, it is difficult to get along calmly, so that the relationship between them is more and more distant.
Everyone says that distant relatives are not as good as close neighbors, this sentence does illustrate the coldness among relatives, the so-called poor in the downtown area no one asks, rich in the mountains have distant relatives, sometimes the relationship between relatives is far more complicated than you think, which requires us to be vigilant, whether you are poor or rich, do not get too close to relatives.
Those who don't see you well are often the people closest to you
Life is like the sea, everyone is a whale in this sea, when they are up and down, they will also compete for the few resources and food in the sea, the total amount of food is fixed, that is to say, there is also an interest competition relationship between people, and the people closest to them are more likely to be wrapped in this interest relationship.
Inequality means the deviation of human nature, but also means the inner jealousy and desire, inferiority and self-esteem of the concrete reflection, so most people do not want their relatives to live well, at least, can not be better than their own, if the other party is better than their own, can only reflect their own weakness and powerlessness.
Most people in this world are all sentient beings, and the complexity of human nature is that when people meet the inferior, the first reaction is to stay away from each other, afraid that the other party will drag down their lives, and when they are poor, every word they say may be understood by the other party as a charity.
Zhang Ailing's psychological description of Dun Feng in "Mercy" shows this very vividly. When Dun Feng got along with his relatives, he did not dare to show up in front of them, for fear that they would borrow money, what was unsatisfactory, and he did not want to complain to them, afraid that they would laugh.
For a person, the poverty and weight of relatives are the best comfort for them, and they will also talk about the sympathetic situation after tea and dinner, the tone is full of ridicule and ridicule, and the pain of relatives seems to be able to erase their own pain, erase the problems in their hearts, as if they have obtained a good life, that is, they have erased their own lows.
Therefore, at this time, stay away from such relatives as soon as possible, otherwise you will become the object of ridicule and smear after the other party's tea and dinner, and see the domineering and complacent in the eyes of others.
No matter how good the relationship, it is necessary to maintain certain boundaries
Some people say that people are too close to each other, which is a disaster.
No matter how good the relationship, once too close, it is easy to breed contradictions and friction, when the distance is far away, but can produce beauty, do not interfere with each other, can get along calmly.
When facing outsiders, we often pay attention to the scale of getting along, will not cross the line, and do some excessive things, but in the face of our relatives, we will forget the boundaries of communication between people, so as to do some offensive things.
There are some relatives who like to interfere in the affairs of other people's families, think that they are relatives, and whenever there are some contradictions and frictions in other people's homes, they will intervene in them to be peacemakers, you think they are kind, but in the eyes of others, they may be nosy.
The closer the relationship, the more you have to put yourself in the right position, your kindness is likely to do the wrong thing, even if your relationship is good, but others are a family, too much involvement in other people's family chores, will only make them feel bored, want to stay away from you.
Only by proper alienation, reappearing when there is a real need, can we live in harmony and not like to mix everything.
Between relatives, sometimes more realistic than any relationship
A friend once told a memorable thing in his life, when he was still young, his family was very poor, his income from farming was very meager, he heard that he could apply for a student loan to go to school, and he wanted to go to relatives in the city to ask about the specific situation of going to school.
The indifferent attitude of relatives in the city to him made him cold, and between the conversations, his uncle also said that he had no way out of studying, and it was better to stay at home and farm, or go to the city to work.
Over the years, through his own struggles, he has become a very good person and accumulated a lot of wealth. And his uncle's attitude towards him also changed his face, often booing and greeting him warmly, and no matter how close they were to him, he could never forget that scene in his heart, nor could he forget the attitude of his uncle's family when his family was poor.
In the ups and downs of life for many years, he has fully understood such a truth, relatives are outsiders, when they have a good life, they will be jealous, and when they have a bad time, they will not pity.
In fact, when you are rich, there are many people around you, but these people do not really treat you, but just want to get benefits from you and share a piece of the pie, and when you are poor, even the best relatives will stay away and move less.
Don't overestimate your relationship with anyone, even relatives.
Whether rich or poor, we must focus on our own small family, and do not mix too much with relatives
Relatives, to a certain extent, are just strangers who are related by blood, and when they have established their own families, they must clearly distinguish between relatives and distances, and do not do some stupid things.
Some people just can't distinguish between near and far, and they help relatives too much and neglect their own small homes, and such situations abound.
But even if you help more, some people will not be grateful to you, and even feel that it is taken for granted.
Whether rich or poor, we must focus on our own small family, do not be a poor person in the eyes of relatives, be judged by relatives, and do not judge relatives, idle and right, and too much to mix with relatives.
After living for most of his life, the tide faded and began to understand what kind of difference there is between a life surrounded by relatives and a good little life by yourself.
Instead of pouring out everything and pouring out most of your life to meet the needs of your relatives and getting too close to your relatives, it is better to have a more respectful and indifferent attitude towards your relatives at the beginning, and maintain superficial decency and courtesy, which is easier than the intimacy of your heart and lungs.