When we think of "polygamy," we all think of the feudal society of a hundred years ago. Unexpectedly, in modern civilized society, there are still countries that allow polygamy, and South Africa is one of them.
In South Africa, marriage is fairly liberal, allowing not only same-sex, underage marriages, but also recognizing polygamy.
People who have watched the palace fighting drama know that the women of the harem, in order to be favored, have been fighting all day long, and the male protagonist is left and right, overwhelmed, and there is no happiness at all.
In real life, will a family of three wives and four concubines be happy?
A rich man in South Africa named Moussa Meseleku has made public his polygamous life, he has 4 wives, 10 children, and 2 extramarital affairs.
How do such complex families get along? Today we will find out.
1.
In 2021, South Africa launched a reality show called True Love and Polygamy. After the program was broadcast, because the content was explosive, it triggered a heated discussion among many netizens around the world.
At that time, the program team invited a real estate developer named Moussa, who took his wife and children to the show in order to change people's perception of polygamy.
Moussa was born in 1975, and because his father had also married multiple wives, he was determined to marry multiple wives at a very young age.
At first, Moses' love life did not go well.
As a young man, Moussa met a young girl named Mayeni, who was also his first love. Soon after falling in love, Moses couldn't wait to marry his beloved woman into the door.
But when the woman's parents knew that he longed for a polygamous life, he was very opposed to the relationship, and eventually the relationship could only be terminated.
With this experience of emotional failure, Moussa was very cautious in the subsequent love affair, telling the other party what he thought at the beginning, and if the other party agreed, he would choose to continue the relationship.
At the age of 27, Moses entered the palace of marriage as he wished. His eldest wife did respect her pre-marital commitments, and when Moses fell in love with other women after marriage, instead of getting angry, she would help her husband with ideas.
Moses' second marriage was dramatic, and the other party was the first love who had followed his parents' advice and broke up with him.
It turned out that after the breakup, Mayeni could not let go of this relationship, and after knowing that Moses was married, he still found the other party to express the idea of wanting to get back together.
In this way, Mayani became Moses's second wife.
In the years that followed, Moses married two more wives. The four wives bore him 8 children.
During this time, Moses was not at peace, the red flag in the family did not fall, the bunting flag fluttered outside, he also had two extramarital affairs, and gave birth to 2 illegitimate children.
In the face of such a complicated marriage relationship, the average person is estimated to have been unable to bear it for a long time, but Moussa was not overwhelmed.
2.
Moussa has really been comfortable in handling the relationship with his 4 wives.
There are two main reasons behind this, on the one hand, because he has sufficient financial resources, and on the other hand, because he has a high emotional intelligence.
The first is the residence, as a real estate tycoon, Moses bought a piece of land at a high price, built 4 small villas, and each wife shared a house, so as to avoid them living under the same roof.
Some people can't help but ask: "Although they don't live together, but there are still contradictions in the monogamous family, won't these 4 wives compete for the wind and jealousy?" ”
Naturally, this was difficult for the clever Moussa, who formulated a strict schedule of who to eat with every day, who to accompany shopping, where to stay overnight, all written in the schedule.
Even if he occasionally misremembers, his wife will not deliberately conceal it because of selfishness, but will say bluntly: You should not come to me today, who should go to whom.
Although Musa is busy on weekdays, he will take an hour every day to chat with his wives and supervise the children's studies.
Whenever there was an important holiday, Moses would also prepare the gift in quadruplicate early, and he would be able to treat his wife equally, without letting them feel the slightest sense of disparity.
However, through the show audience found that although the family looks very harmonious on the surface, it also has its own drawbacks.
As the head of the family, Moussa, although he has created a considerate and good husband under the lens, he actually has a very serious machismo.
In his daily life, when Moses and his wives got along, there was no equality at all, and everyone had to obey him.
At home, a strict 5 o'clock curfew is imposed every day, that is, every day before 5 pm, you must go home. If wives were going out or dating friends, they had to get Moussa's permission.
For the 5 p.m. curfew, netizens said: Even parents will not set such a curfew for teenagers
Despite the strict house rules, wives readily accept that the husband is God in their eyes.
And the same is true between these wives, looking like sisters, they will work and shop together, but the look in each other's eyes is full of disdain and hatred.
The reason why their emotions did not explode was probably because they feared the majesty of Moses.
What is even more exaggerated is that although he already has 4 wives and 10 children, Moussa is still not satisfied with this. His goal is to have 20 children, and he may find a fifth, sixth, or seventh wife.
Moussa's life seems absurd and deformed to us, but in South Africa, where "polygamy" is allowed, it is all very normal.
If south Africa's "polygamy" system has made the world feel incredible, then the "polygamy" proposed by the South African government is even more surprising.
3.
On June 28, 2021, the South African government proposed that in the near future, the law would allow a woman to have multiple husbands at the same time, that is, to allow "polyandry", in order to improve the status of women.
As soon as the proposal was issued, it drew opposition from the South African public, especially those who believed in "polygamy".
Moussa has publicly stated that South Africa should not use the principle of equality "too much" and that the legalization of polyandry will "destroy African culture".
Regardless of whether this proposal is reasonable, if "polygamy" is added to the "polygamy" system, the chaos of South African society will be unimaginable.
The first is the health problem, in "polygamous" marriages, the presence of multiple sexual partners has led to a sharp increase in the transmission rate of HIV, and South Africa itself is the country with the largest number of AIDS patients in the world.
As a result of AIDS, life expectancy in the country also fell from 64.1 years to 53.2 years between 1995 and 1998.
Although South Africa has introduced many policies to combat AIDS, the prevalence of AIDS in the country is still rising, the prevalence of AIDS in South Africa was 12.57% in 2018, and it has exceeded 15% in 2019, rising rapidly.
The Eswatini situation, which also practices "polygamy", is also very bad, although the country is small, but more than 38% of the population is infected with AIDS, that is, at least one in 3 people is sick, including a large number of pregnant women.
Because of the prevalence of AIDS, most of the people in this country can't even live to be 35 years old.
And if AIDS is to be eradicated completely, "polygamy" must be abolished.
Another disadvantage of the "polygamous" system is reflected in the equality of women.
Although some of The richest people in South Africa also have multiple wives, most of them occur in relatively remote areas.
Local women have no dignity and no ego, and from an early age they are indoctrinated with the idea that their husbands are God and that it is their mission to have children.
Their love and happiness became the funerary products of the "polygamy" system.
This kind of thinking is undoubtedly a demeaning and discriminatory treatment of women, a denial of women's dignity.
So, can the implementation of the "polygamous" system improve the status of women?
The answer is no.
In the Indian movie "The Country Without Women", it is a typical "polygamous" life.
In the film, 5 brothers raise funds, marry a wife back, 7 days a week, one person a day, the remaining two days are not allowed to rest, the father-in-law also has to insert a foot, to share a piece of the pie.
In addition to serving the father and son of 6 people, the wife also had to face endless labor during the day, cooking, fetching water, milking cows, washing clothes, and so on. If there is a slightest mistake, you will be beaten by the "husband".
The so-called "polygamy" that advocates equality between men and women is still not profitable by women.
It can be seen that both "polygamy" and "polygamy" are an almost pathological and unequal system.
The best choice is to enhance the status of women, eliminate social prejudice against women, advocate "equality between men and women", and ideologically recognize and respect women.
Of course, for a country like South Africa, there is still a long way to go to truly achieve women's liberation. Text/Little Happiness