01
Post-70s people, looking back, along the way, it is not easy, not simple.
From the countryside to the city, from poverty to wealth, from confusion to sobriety, from single to family.
Now, we are all forty or fifty years old, the road ahead, say long is not long, say short is not short.
In my hometown, the old people often said, "When the man reaches forty-five, he has half cut off the soil." "The implication is that we are all people who have walked through half of our lives and want to plan the happiness of the second half of our lives."
However, the burden on our bodies is not easy, there are old and young, and there are still many things that have not yet been done. There are even some people who don't have a decent home, who don't have a pension, whose life is sleepy, and who hasn't changed.
I have seen such a sentence: "Suffering is not bitterness, happiness is not happiness, it is just a momentary obsession." ”
Many times, what makes us miserable is not life itself, but our own obsessions.
If you cling to something, you will suffer because of something. It's like you're holding a rock, and the tighter you hold it, the more painful your hand gets.
Amorous is always hurt by thin emotions. What hurts the most is the feelings of the people themselves. Therefore, we have to go against the grain and be a thin-hearted person.
02
For poetry and distant "thin feelings", find the way back in life.
When you were a child, you may be like me, living in the countryside, but you have a dream of fighting swords and walking the end of the world.
From Jin Yong's novels, we found the trajectory of many chivalrous people's lives. They are our role models. For example, Qiao Feng in "Tianlong Babu" was in the Central Plains yesterday, went to YanmenGuan today, and later went to the Shaolin Temple. Along the way, you can show off your martial arts and drink with a large group of talented people.
Our life is not as wonderful as in the novel, but the road we have traveled is really a lot.
Leave your hometown, go to Guangdong, Jiangsu and Zhejiang to work, go to the provincial capital to find something to do, or make a living in the county. The acre and three points of the family's land were handed over to their parents, and they held a determination to win, gritted their teeth and moved forward.
Most of the post-70s have not become rich and official, but having a house in the city can be regarded as a lifetime achievement. At least the children enjoy more love and a better learning environment.
In the future, do you want to continue to drift, or stop and go to see the scenery, or do you go with the flow? When we think about it, we will find that we have to abandon poetry and distant places and return to our hometown. Even if people can't return to their hometowns, they must have a place to settle down, and they can't always be like duckweed.
Some people have repaired the old houses in the countryside and have already arranged the retreat path properly, which is worthy of envy.
03
"Thin affection" for relatives and friends, away from superfluous circles.
When we left home, our parents said, "Go out by friends, multiple friends and multiple roads." ”
Whether it is to go to work or start a business, you must rely on a few reliable friends, and then you can achieve something. Therefore, co-workers, classmates, comrades-in-arms, relatives, compatriots, etc., are all regarded as friends by us.
However, as I grew older, I found that my friends became more and more realistic, and my relatives also had signs of inflamation. As long as you are poor once and borrow money once, you will understand.
In the future, we must narrow our own circle, we should break it, and we should forget it.
In the Spring and Autumn Period, someone told Confucius that the sage Bo Gao had died in Weiguo.
Confucius said, "I met BoGao through my student Zigong, so if I want to mourn, I should also go to Zigong's house." ”
The student Ran Qiu happened to be in Weiguo, so he took matters into his own hands and sent some gifts in place of Confucius.
Confucius said helplessly, "If I am not a courtesy to Bo Gao, it is Ran Qiuye." ”
People who were not very familiar with each other originally, but when they had courtesy exchanges, they were very embarrassed and fell into the embarrassment of "disrespect".
We should treat relatives and friends like Confucius, with different relatives and estrangement, different etiquette, and not getting close to too many people. When you stop tossing life, the intersection of various interests is meaningless.
For example, if you leave Dongguan and your former co-workers invite you to a wedding feast, you don't have to go, after all, it is rare to see you again in the future, and it is also embarrassing for you to go to Dongguan.
For example, relatives of relatives should not interact frequently, and they do not know each other's roots, and they will also "nod" their friendship in the future.
Man, always get used to walking alone, if there are three or five confidants, it is very warm.
04
"Thin affection" for children, let them grow freely.
From a realistic point of view, the post-70s people, children are also more than ten years old; some people have become grandparents; and some people, raising two children, once again feel the responsibility and pressure.
As you grow old and your children grow up, you need to think about how to find a balance in your family.
Children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren, and they should not make cattle and horses for their children and grandchildren. The words left by the ancients are not without reason.
"Sight" wrote: "Many, many children, waiting on the playground for the first bell to ring in class... But they don't yet know a law: the graduation of one thing is always the beginning of another. ”
If the child has left the school or gone to college, it means that you have to choose to let go and not do anything big; even if the child is still young, you must restrain your love and let them become independent as soon as possible. Maybe your choices are cruel, but it's good for both of them.
The end of one generation is the beginning of another. You can't always be strong and can pick up the backbone of the family.
Think about it, our growth path has labor time such as planting seedlings, cutting rice, raising pigs, cutting firewood, etc., and we can't be idle in the winter. After suffering, we cherish our current happiness even more.
"Treat others with yourself", when children enter middle age, they will also have the same feelings as you, rather than resenting their parents' lack of love and complaining that their parents have given too much suffering.
05
"Thin affection" for inner desires, no need to exchange health for money.
When we were young, we really hoped that we would be very rich, even if we became a million yuan household in the village.
Later, we had tens of thousands of yuan, but we felt that it was not enough, because it cost a lot of money to buy a house, and buying a car was not a trivial matter. The house and the car were there, and suddenly I found that the pension and education of children needed a large amount of money.
Carefully comb through, most of the parents do not have retirement wages, and you are asked to give you a few hundred yuan in alimony every month. Living in the city, even drinking water costs money.
Money is not a panacea, but we are "poor and afraid." In order to make money, many people work day and night.
In the future, we must learn to confess our fate. As the saying goes: "Sometimes there must be something in fate, and there is no time to demand it in fate." "You're not too old, no younger than the young lads. When you are tired, you may not be able to recover after a night of rest. Just dragging a tired body to work.
When people reach middle age, health is the greatest wealth. As for money, learn to cut the door, cover the money bag, always have spare money, the problem of pension is solved, you don't have to worry so much.
Kick desire out of life mercilessly. Nothing, our life, even if ordinary, pure suffering, is not ashamed.
06
I have seen such a passage: When a person is old, with a confidant dog, walking in a rural landscape, looking at the clouds and listening to the wind, it is a plain face practice.
Prosperity will eventually pass, and what can be left is the emotion of life, as well as crooked footprints.
Asked what the world's situation is, the Orthodox people burst into tears.
It is precisely the most ruthless and affectionate, but the world can't see through it.
After the 70s, you and I should think a little more about ourselves.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.