Parents live themselves first

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"The Satya school, first heal yourself before you heal your child."

The core content is to let go of anxiety, control utilitarianism, turn icebergs, empathize, and express consistency, and empower children with psychological nutrition.

Overview of Psychological Nutrition:

1, security: parents emotional stability, not suppressed, not denied, not insulted.

2, self-worth (self-confidence): appreciation, praise, recognition, encouragement, look at the positive value behind the behavior, do positive hypnosis.

3. Learn to communicate effectively: listen, understand, empathize, guide, and express consistently.

4. Correct love for children: unconditional acceptance, understanding, companionship, and belief.

5, the ability to be independent and autonomous: draw a clear line, the child's affairs are all handed over to the child, do not ask for help. ”

Truth is always the same, and I've seen similar ideas in many books.

For me, it is condensed into a "smile, shut up, let go, live yourself" action plan, and practice.

Yesterday, a netizen asked me worriedly, saying that he had been reading my article and felt that it was very reasonable. But will the heart be another form of abandonment? Will it allow children to become more aggressive? Will it end up killing the child? Delaying your child?

Actually, I'm worried. Because this in itself is a big gamble, an experiment.

However, the original parenting method has not worked, the more the management of the more rebellious, the child can not live, has borne bitter fruit, so that the family life is not as good as death, pain does not want to live, but also to continue? Pain and suffering until the end of life?

Whoever hurts changes.

I'm not reconciled.

I now soberly realize that I came to the earth to find happiness and happiness, and this is the real ultimate goal, the most real, the most valuable and meaningful.

It is not to buy a house and a car, to become famous, to hope that the son will become a dragon and look forward to the woman to become a phoenix, these lives do not bring death and do not bring it, it is all floating clouds.

It's like playing a game, no matter how good the equipment, when you start a new game, you have to earn it again. Life is a lifetime, but a journey of experience, why not have fun?

"But if the world sits for a while, why should it go through thousands of vicissitudes?" It's not a good deal.

People, in any case, have the right to make better choices.

So, for the rest of your life, stay aware, aim at the target, correct deviations at any time, and make better choices.

Even if my daughter's efforts and mine are an experiment, then judging from the current data, it is quite effective.

From the perspective of consumption, from the previous year's online loans and impulse consumption of 100,000 yuan, to this month almost zero consumption. This month only cat food cat litter icon was bought, and these counted in the pocket wallet dry.

She has now decided to take the art exam, knowing that the cost is relatively high, so she is willing to start saving.

From the perspective of life planning, the year before yesterday, I thought of eating and drinking, squandering, and ending my life at any time. Now I look forward to a happy and beautiful future and am willing to work hard for it.

From the perspective of body management, the previous year did not care about the full moon face, buffalo back, bucket waist, elephant legs, and the mirror was rarely illuminated. "I don't want my life anymore, what beauty do you care about?" , the daughter's original words. Now I want to live a healthy and beautiful life, keep my mouth shut and open my legs every day. He also pursues poetry and bookish self-glory, requires himself to read more classics, and has the appeal of both internal and external cultivation.

From the perspective of emotional flow, the previous year was very cold and selfish, the hostility was serious, the feelings for the mother were not as good as the cats, cats, dogs and dogs, and all kinds of wayward behavior was to deliberately hurt the mother. Now I hope that my mother will be healthy and long-lived, always booing and asking for warmth, caring about my mother's emotions and feelings.

In short, "smile, shut up, let go, live yourself", there are countless small surprises, small luck.

Of course, it is also necessary to "learn and grow and change with "habitual treatment while channeling." The speed at which parents grow determine the speed of their child's recovery" is implemented.

Finally, the finishing touch. Let's start from egoism, why is the child's growth not going well, you are so anxious and miserable, and it is difficult to sleep and eat? In addition to loving children, isn't it just loving yourself?

On the one hand, worried about the uncertain future of children, will they eat the hardships of life? Will I not survive? Will it be starving and freezing?

On the other hand, isn't it afraid that such a child will not heal for decades, exhausting the family's wealth, the old have nothing to rely on, the old have nothing to rely on, and fall into the old and weak, lonely and bitter?

Then, you aim to live yourself well and immediately become happy and happy in the moment. Can children still influence you? Do you still need to be so anxious?

My daughter is very envious of my full and happy days every day, and this happiness has infected her and warmed her, so my daughter loves life more and more, cherishes herself, and is willing to embrace a better future.

Anxiety is contagious, and happiness is contagious.

Parents to choose, continue to use anxiety? Or do you switch to happiness?