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1. In the confusion, I felt someone pressing on me and touching my face, I struggled so hard, opened my eyes, and was scared silly on the spot, and saw a black person on the window

author:Sister Mille loves music

1. In the confusion, I felt someone pressing on me and touching my face, I struggled so hard, opened my eyes, and was frightened on the spot, and saw a black figure on the window, and my face was covered by a long hair and dangled around............ Open your eyes suddenly, no one! Move your feet, there's nothing around! Only then did I close my eyes in peace and feel like someone was touching my feet again? Frightened, I quickly sat up and turned on the flashlight of my phone, forehead! My son was kicked to the ground by me!

2. I bought a house in her neighborhood in order to catch up with my ex-girlfriend, but we broke up anyway. Now five years on, my ex-girlfriend and I both have our own families and have children each. Recently, a new supermarket was opened in the community, there are discounts, and today I pushed my two-year-old son who did not speak much to wait for his wife at the entrance of the supermarket. At this time, the ex-girlfriend came, saw my son happy, wanted to go over and wrap it up, my son actually snorted and twisted his face. She and I could only smile awkwardly, and this scene was seen by my daughter-in-law. At night, I actually want to add some meat to my son, and then don't let me eat, who do I provoke?

3. The brother-in-law went to Heilan Home to buy clothes, and he liked the shirt, the price was 600 yuan, and the brother-in-law sighed: "This is also too expensive, right?" At this time, a male salesman said: "You can be cheaper, I will give you a 9% discount." The brother-in-law was still hesitating, when a saleswoman came over and quietly pulled the corner of the brother-in-law's clothes. Whispered: "He's just here and can only give you a 10% discount." I am an old clerk, report my sales number can give you a 40% discount, a lot cheaper. So the brother-in-law followed the saleswoman to pay. After the brother-in-law left, the saleswoman smiled at the male salesman and said, "What, our cooperation is very tacit!" ”

4. The daughter-in-law is now the second child, when she first gave birth to Dabao, she almost had difficulty giving birth, and originally planned not to have a second child, but discussed that she was afraid that Dabao would be lonely. Now the second child is also born, the condition is quite OK, but now there is still a heart rate monitoring chart, 6-year-old Dabao looked at the side for a while, and asked quietly: When will the younger brother's electricity be filled?

5. My husband and I both work at Foxconn, and together we can earn 20,000 yuan a month. On weekend weekends, I woke up at 6 a.m. and said to my husband, "Get up!" Let's go shopping! I want to buy a bag..." My husband stayed motionless and slept until 3 p.m. I stared at him deadly and said calmly, "If you have the ability, you will always sleep, don't get up!" ”?

6. On my eighteenth birthday, my Alipay Flower Was finally opened, and I immediately went shopping at the supermarket. Bought a whole cart of snacks and lined up to check out. A fat man in the back said, "Buy so much food." I said, "Yeah, you've bought a lot of them." The fat man said, "I can't help but eat every day, I can't control it." I said, "You can't eat like this, and if you get fat, you won't be able to marry your wife." The fat man was silent for a moment and said, "I'm just a woman." ”

7. My father-in-law worked in the Chaozhou Chamber of Commerce all his life and saved 2.6 million yuan, so he bought us an 80-square-meter house in Bigui garden. Now that the new house has been renovated, my father-in-law and mother-in-law have come to visit my house and stay for dinner at noon. I know that my father-in-law likes to eat spicy, so I go downstairs to the commissary to buy chili sauce, I: Boss, is there a chili sauce?? Boss: Yes, ten dollars a bottle. Me: Could it be cheaper? I don't have enough money for only seven dollars. Boss: Okay, sold to you. Then, I took out ten yuan from my wallet and waited for the boss to find money!!

8. When I was a child, I was a bully in our community, and I often bullied a little boy in our community. I remember once, the little boy cried and shouted at me loudly: "You wait, I asked my brother to come and clean you up!" I said, "Well, I'll wait!" About five minutes later, he came back crying. He said, "My brother is not at home!" "Then, I was touched by his seriousness and became a good friend ever since!"

 #Funny Moment#Funny Paragraph# #年度搞笑名场面 #

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