1． My cousin was newly married yesterday and is admitted to the hospital today. I went to see him with a gift, and my sister-in-law was standing in front of the hospital bed, with a shy face. While my sister-in-law was out, I asked, "You."

1． My cousin was newly married yesterday and is admitted to the hospital today. I went to see him with a gift, and my sister-in-law was standing in front of the hospital bed, with a shy face. While my sister-in-law was out, I asked, "What are you doing?" Cave flower candle night fight? Cousin: "When I woke up this morning, your sister-in-law found that there was one more person in the bed, and she kicked me out without even thinking about it!" ”

2． On the bridge, a boy had already drunk eighteen bowls of Meng Po soup, and Meng Po saw it to stop him: Enough, don't drink, the boy was already crying and looking at Meng Po with red eyes, yelling at Meng Po, but I still haven't forgotten her! Meng Po said that she drank a bowl and forgot about you. Do you remember what she looked like? The boy cried and replied of course that she had a scar on her face that I will never forget. Meng Po said to drink another bowl. The boy fell asleep after drinking. Meng Po looked up at the sky. She nodded slightly, tears streaming from her eyes. A gust of wind blew, and the veil on Meng Po's face was blown off, revealing a scar...

3． The first and second generations like to buy color drift, no more, no less, buy a bet every day. Whether it is cold winter or heat, the wind and rain have never been broken. Later, his friend asked him: You are so rich, why do you still buy color drift? Fu Er Dai said: I did not buy the lottery to win the lottery, but for the public welfare. Friend said: What do you mean? Fu Er Dai said: Because of this, I can support some people who get nothing for nothing.

4． The girl jumped back home and shouted: Daddy, I'm back! Dad: How did you go? Girl: 40 points on the test! Dad: Then you have to keep up with the study, obedient Dad will buy you a dress. Then the son came home: Dad, I'm back. Dad: How many points did you get on the test? Son: 90! Dad yelled: Why not 100 points! Give me a penalty stop!

5． Once on a weekend, a woman and a girlfriend were chatting together. Girlfriend: "How do you look up to your husband, you don't deserve it at all, you have no money, and you look ugly." A woman: "On the day of the blind date, an old lady next to me fell." Without even thinking about it, he got up on his back and ran to the hospital. When I came back, I asked him if he was not afraid of being relied on? He said what should be done. At that time, I thought that such a kind person is too rare. Girlfriend: "Oh, it's rare, what happened to the old lady later?" A woman: "How?" I'm my mother-in-law...

6． My girlfriend and I met at Lanxiang Technical School, I learned the excavator, she learned beauty salon. After two years in love, I took 10,000 bride price to propose to my relatives. My girlfriend's mother asked me: Do you have a car and a house? Me: Not yet, but there will definitely be in the future, I don't want to use my parents' money to enjoy, these things must be obtained with their own efforts, in order to be solid! Later, my daughter-in-law told me that her mother took a fancy to me and had a thick skin, although she was poor, the reason was good!?

7． A friend dropped out of school at the age of 16 and went to Guangdong to work. The old and lively young man had suffered from the pressure of life and was gone, and I still remember that a few years ago he would be able to laugh for a day because of a little thing, and his face was full of innocence and slowly disappeared, and now he was haggard and did not like words. I noticed that his eyes were gone, sluggish, and I wanted to comfort the boy, so I touched the mirror with my hand.

8． After graduating from college, he entered Huawei as an executive, represented the company to negotiate with Qualcomm, and finally obtained the right to use Qualcomm-related technologies. Although Qualcomm will pay 1.8 billion, the future profits far exceed this figure. Today I returned to China, the boss was very happy and sent me a bonus of 100,000 yuan. Because I had been on a business trip for a month and wanted a daughter-in-law, I immediately went home. When I got home, I saw that my wife was still asleep. I couldn't resist the excitement, and shouted in my wife's ear: Your husband is back. Then she suddenly got up and muttered in her mouth you go fast, you go fast! Haha, the wife is really so cute, make me laugh.

9． When Fa Xiao and I went out to dinner, we passed a villa area, and at this time Fa Xiao suddenly punched me: "Your boy is hiding quite deeply, and actually bought a house here." I was confused: "Where do I have the money, how can I afford it?" Dude: "Still loading!" Look over there, isn't that your mother-in-law? "I looked, yes, the mother-in-law was walking into the villa. I was suddenly confused, didn't she say that she went to play mahjong with her friends? What's going on......

10． I worked as a personnel officer in an electronics factory in Suzhou, and recently there was a new female college student. Today she complained that her computer was very stuck. I checked it out for her and found more than 500 folders in her trash. Me: "Is it so slow, didn't you empty the trash?" She: "No, in my house, these things are done by my husband." ”

11． One day I want to confess my love to the goddess in the company. So I blew a balloon and wrote on the balloon with a marker pen that "love should share happiness and suffering." As a result, the balloon exploded before the bitter words of happiness and bitterness were written! The goddess was frightened and said: Big handsome man, you are not sharing happiness and suffering! You've come to die with me!"

12． I remember when I was in college, one of my roommates and I loved music and formed a small duo. At today's welcome party, we also signed up for a show, and that night, the two of us went on stage to perform, and my roommate played the electric guitar. When he soloed, he was shaking like sifting sand, his body language was extremely rich, his expression was vicious, and he finally threw the electric guitar on the ground, which could be said to be a hilarious explosion at that time. It didn't come according to the rehearsal at all, which can be described as an extraordinary play. The students who watched all asked us to come again, and the roommate waved his hand and said: I can't come for the time being, it was just an electric guitar that leaked.

13． On the crowded train, there were a lot of beautiful ladies standing on the walkway. The flight attendants pushed the dining car, and the beauties refused to give way. The flight attendant shouted: Beware of the body! No one paid any attention. She changed her name again: Beware of touching dirty clothes! Only a few women turned sideways and gave way. Finally, the flight attendant had to shout again: Beware of breaking the nylon stockings! So the women all hid to the side.