A male reader asked me, I don't know why, after marriage, the relationship between husband and wife slowly fades, the wife is no longer so concerned about herself, and she does not care about him if she manages the children. Sometimes the child is not at home, the couple can be silent all day, even if he finds a topic to chat, the wife rarely responds.
After a deep conversation, I found that there are not a few husbands like this male reader, they rarely reflect on their problems in marriage, and they always feel that they are wives and have nothing to do.
In fact, most of the women who have become more and more silent in marriage are because of cold hearts.
Misunderstood, snubbed, hurt, you never appear when she needs you; she feels that you should stand in the same position as her in everything, but you always stand against her and accuse her; she gives everything for the family, but you touch the bottom line of marriage again and again; she expects you to see her and understand her countless times, but she expects her to fail again and again.
The heart does not turn cold in an instant, freezing three feet is not a day's cold, saving enough disappointment will no longer have expectations, and all that remains is silence.
Men must understand that in marriage, "do something and do nothing", do not easily touch the marriage red line, when you play the role of a good husband, the wife will also play the role of a good wife.
Remind men: between husband and wife, the wife can not tolerate the husband's behavior the most, men do not care.
Mixed eating and waiting to die, not seeking progress
Ordinary people's married life must pay twelve points of effort to raise children and take good care of their families. Therefore, husband and wife are lovers and allies, and they must form an alliance together and work hard to make their lives better and better.
When in love, money may not be so important, two people can live forever by love; once they get married and live, and put their lives into dressing and eating, money becomes one of the most important things in the family.
Many women like to dress up, eat, drink and have fun before marriage, and once they have children after marriage, they immediately change their roles, want to give their children better living conditions, for the sake of children, any suffering can be eaten.
But if the wife who is trying to make money has a husband who eats and waits for death and does not seek progress, the wife will be very mad.
Men can't take on the responsibility of supporting their families, love freedom, don't want to suffer hardships, and always feel that life can be lived together. More excessive, eating, drinking and having fun, so uncomfortable.
Faced with a husband who only wants to make salted fish, the wife may pick up the whip and smoke a few times to urge the husband to move forward. However, if the husband "smokes a whip and moves", lacks initiative and self-consciousness, after a long time, the wife is tired, and she will slowly give up.
As one reader said in a comment:
"I always feel that when children grow up slowly and need money more and more, men become mature and responsible." However, after all these years, when I worked two jobs alone and worried about my children's tuition fees, he didn't seem to be in a hurry at all. You should eat and drink, and you should play cards when you have nothing to do. That's when I was dead set on him, telling myself that I couldn't count on this man. ”
This is how a woman's heart slowly becomes cold, and what she needs is not a husband who is rich and able to make money, but someone who can withstand the storm with her.
Don't ask about family matters, ignore your wife
Faced with their lack of responsibility for the family, many men like to use such words to excuse themselves - I work hard to earn money, is it not for this family? Now that you are accusing me of not asking about family affairs and not caring about you, why don't you ask yourself, if I don't, can you live the life you have now?
Wives who ask their husbands for companionship and love are speechless about this.
Just like Lin Qingkun in the TV series "Perfect Partner", he ignores his family for many years and gives his wife and son very little companionship. In his heart, his family is not as important as work, only work is worth his time and energy. Lies can be used to deceive one's wife for work, and one can keep one's promises to one's son for one's sake.
Wu Min repeatedly expected Lin Qingkun to take a little time to accompany the child, and was disappointed in the expectation.
Gradually, Wu Min no longer expected Lin Qingkun to make changes for the family, nor did she believe Lin Qingkun's promises, and she was skeptical of him, more often silent and no longer asked for it.
Lin Qingkun found that his wife had changed, opened a parent-child class without consulting with him, bought furniture and appliances without telling him, and no longer waited for him to go home... This made me angry.
Unfortunately, Lin Qingkun never understood why his wife's attitude towards her had changed so much.
A husband with a successful career, in the face of his wife's silence, it is difficult to really reflect on himself.
They feel that their greatest love and responsibility for their families is to work hard to earn money and provide good material conditions for their families.
It is true that life is inseparable from money, but women are emotionally rich animals, and living together as a family needs more emotional connection.
Just as women in the workplace are often asked "how to balance family and career", men should also think carefully about how to take care of their families when they are busy with their careers.
If the husband only has one thing to do in his eyes, does not ask about family affairs, ignores the companionship of the child, and ignores the wife's feelings, then in the long run, the wife will be cold to the husband.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are contradictory, and they can hide if they can hide
There is a kind of man in the marriage, who does not have any bad habits, who is very attentive to his wife and children, and who works hard. But when encountering the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is like changing a person, who can hide and hide, and never knows how to adjust from it.
Some men feel that the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a matter between you women, and it has nothing to do with me. Therefore, as long as the wife and mother have a conflict, they can hide and hide, and never dare to face the problem head-on and come forward to solve the problem.
There is only one result of men allowing their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to contradict each other - the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have become more and more incompatible, the family is not harmonious, and everything is not smooth.
Moreover, a bad mother-in-law conflict is not good for the couple's feelings. The wife feels that her husband would rather be an outsider than stand in the same position as her, blaming her husband and disappointing him.
There is a neighbor in my hometown, who is more than fifty years old this year, and the relationship with her husband is like living as a partner, talking and laughing with others outside, and never giving her husband a good face when he comes home.
Her husband was out there shouting injustice, saying that his wife was doing this to him when he was older. Someone advised the neighbor: "No matter what happened before, it is a companion when he is old." ”
The female neighbor said: "I was angry when I thought about the things he had done before, and if the child hadn't stopped me, I would have left him long ago." ”
Back in the past, as soon as the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law quarreled, the man hid in the relative's house to drink, and then pretended to be fine and went home. Slowly, the new woman was disappointed in her husband, feeling that he could not even protect his wife, and never regarded his wife as a whole.
In the end, there is nothing to say between husband and wife, and the female neighbor prefers to chat with others outside rather than talk to her husband more.
When facing the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, men must have the awareness that "the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is about the problem of mother-in-law, son, and daughter-in-law", rather than pushing the problem to two women and letting them solve it by themselves.
If a man does not act in the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and does not take a stand, then don't blame your wife for being indifferent to you when you are older.
A man's attitude toward his wife determines the degree of happiness in marriage.
In marriage, women go from noisy to disappointed to silent, men do not only look at the results, but also reflect on the role you play in this process.
Between husband and wife, the wife can not tolerate the husband's behavior the most, the man must pay attention to it, and if there is no change, it is encouraged.
Running a marriage requires enough patience and wisdom, paying attention to the feelings of the partner, understanding the needs of the partner, and seeing the husband and wife as a whole in order to go happy.
Today's Topic:
What do you think is the husband's behavior that the wife can't stand?
Flower Shadow World: Pay attention to me, in the hustle and bustle of the world, use words to soothe you