My father-in-law looked at my wife's splint with one of her hands and asked her what was wrong. The wife said angrily, "Domestic violence! My hand was broken. This made my father-in-law feel bad, and he asked me fiercely:

My father-in-law looked at my wife's splint with one of her hands and asked her what was wrong. The wife said angrily, "Domestic violence! My hand was broken. This made my father-in-law feel bad, and he asked me fiercely, "With which hand did you beat my daughter like this?" I'm going to scrap your hand!" I covered my swollen face with a look of grievance and replied, "Face punch." ”

2, the landlord of the countryside one summer is about to rain everyone is busy harvesting wheat, a small partner suddenly stomachache, pain rolling all over the ground, his father once he saw the wheat can not care about the harvest, quickly empty the agricultural car on the quilt pulled straight to the county hospital. As a result, when it was less than a few hundred meters away from the hospital (our county seat was more than ten kilometers away), the goods told him that his father's stomach did not hurt! It's all right, let his father go back, and then we asked him if he was suddenly ill? Does it hurt again on the way back? This cargo: of course it hurts! It hurts a lot more than when I came! My dad hurt everywhere I beat me!

3, in the morning out of the breakfast met. My son had a bit of a cold and his voice was muted. The father picked up a bun and put it in front of his son: "Eat quickly, just choke on your throat..." The son looked at his father and began to sing with the broken gong voice, "Thank you, give me love; thank you, give me tenderness..." The child has a future.

4, the brother bought him an electric razor, but his father-in-law has not been used. Dude: What a treasure to break a razor, use it and buy it again! He is old: people are old, they are not used, and they will not use this electric thing. His mother-in-law: Will not use is fake, this cold iron guy which barber shop girl feel good? Dude: Oh...

5, the company's manager worked overtime until very late, suddenly anxious, so he went to the toilet. After the end of the matter, the manager found that there was no paper, everyone left, which was broken! Wiped only money and mobile phones on the body, are reluctant to use. So the manager took out his mobile phone and dialed KFC's phone: trouble send a sucking finger original chicken as soon as possible, bring more paper. Address: The south side of the building, specially instructed, not the south side, is the men's toilet!

6, the exam is about to take, our dormitory brothers began to write a small copy again, I saw it and asked him: Are you not afraid of being caught writing a small copy? He said: In fact, small copies and money are the same, whether you can use it or not, there will always be peace of mind in your pocket.

7. During the class, the physics teacher asked: "Under the guarantee of sufficient current, the voltages of 11V, 30V, 220V, 1000V and 3500V, which can be touched by hand, which can not be touched by hand?" A student hesitated for half a day, stood up and replied, "You can touch it, but some can only touch it once."

8) I went to my future father-in-law's house and talked about my family at a dinner party. I said to him, "To tell you the truth, I don't have any money. The father-in-law took a sip from the teacup. He said slowly, "Money can't be used to measure a person. Rarely have I met an elder with such a deep sense of righteousness, and I should have said quickly, "Yes, yes." "What else can be measured?" He dropped the cup on the floor.

9, a person with insomnia, go to the doctor, the doctor: "You count from 1 to 1000 at night, you can fall asleep." The next day the patient came with a sad face. He said to the doctor, "Your method doesn't work, I counted to 500 yesterday and was so sleepy that I got up and drank a cup of strong tea to count to 1,000." ”

10. On the afternoon of November 16, 2018, the handover ceremony of the Yunnan section of the China-Vietnam border was held in the minefield on the west side of Laoshan Mountain in Mengtong Township, Malipo County, where dozens of demining officers and men walked through the minefield hand in hand, explaining to the people in this special way that every inch of land under their feet is safe. Hats off, what a hero! That's why military personnel give priority

1 Once, my bus card accidentally cracked, I could see the chip, so I simply took the chip out. The next day when I went to work on the bus, I used double-sided tape to glue the chip to my index finger, and when I got on the bus, I used my index finger to tap the card reader, and I still can't forget the stunned eyes of the whole car.

12, after marriage, my wife has been in charge of money, my pocket money is a little insufficient to spend! Before the money was found by the wife, I now got an Alipay trumpet, every time I put money into it, and then delete it, and then download it when I use it! Yesterday, the mother-in-law came to the house, and the mother-in-law quietly stuffed me with 200 yuan: "I know my daughter-in-law, you usually don't have any money to spend it, and you don't have money to spend it with your mother in the future." I hurriedly said, "Thank you Mom, I have private money, and I'm hiding it well!" "The wife snorted coldly and came out!

13, think of the heavy rain this summer, I want to laugh. The water on that street was so deep that many cars couldn't get through it. A dozen buddies with umbrellas stood in the water below their knees. At this time, the big brother who drove the Land Rover looked at him with contempt, increased the throttle and rushed over. As a result, the whole vehicle was completely submerged and could not be seen. The owner of the car climbed up from the car and said to the brothers with umbrellas: "Doesn't the water only reach your knees?" The umbrella-wielding buddy replied, "I'm standing on the roof of the car, and it's still a bus!" ”

14, go to the girlfriend's house. Gave her dad a gift, calcium in calcium. Her father returned the salute, still calcium in calcium. I looked at it and said, "Uncle, you can use this thing yourself, but I don't need it." Her father said lightly: "Use it, it's good for your knees, you'll understand it later." Before I could speak, her mother was furious: You old thing, with the intention of blocking your daughter, give me the bathroom and kneel! I seem to understand something...