Text/End Of Little North
Although Xiao Bei has always opposed young people's "nibbling on the old", if parents can help a little, maybe life will really be better.
Of course, the help I am talking about here is not financial support, but in life, sharing some pressure.
For example, with children; for example, washing and cooking.
The pressure of life is really too great, we have been advocating self-reliance, but sometimes, ideas can never keep up with the reality.
Don't feel that two couples have a full-time home to take care of the family on it, because the current life does not give you this opportunity at all.
It's really hard to raise a home by yourself.
When you don't have a problem, you may not feel that kind of pressure, plus in this world, there is never real empathy.
So, when you meet one day, you will know how much this pressure is, how hard it is to carry.
Perhaps, you will ask, how difficult can it be?
In fact, it is unimaginable, and even you have become a luxury to work, and you don't even have time to study.
You might say that time is squeezed out, and as long as you work hard and squeeze out a little time.
But unfortunately, some pressure makes you unable to squeeze out a little time, if it is not a friend to talk to me, in fact, I am difficult to understand.
In the past, I always felt that even if it was difficult, it would not be difficult, and it would not cause problems in the marriage, but after listening to my friends, I realized how naïve I had thought.
I'm not qualified to laugh at him because I don't necessarily do better than he does these things on me.
01 Some people's difficulties, you can't imagine
If, the person you are close to, in order to get a certain result of hard work, should you feel relieved, do you feel that the other party is too disciplined?
However, some people are not understood in this way, in other words, not because they cannot understand, but because they cannot understand.
Tell the story of a friend Sun Long.
When Sun Long talked to me, tears swirled in his eyes, if it wasn't for the inner collapse, how could a seven-foot man in the hall shed tears?
Sun Long's life was very miserable, although he had brothers and sisters, but no one helped him.
Originally, Sun Long thought that his life was like this, but he did not expect that there was still a hint of relief.
There was a girl who married him without hesitation, and the girl gave up the exam because she was in love with him.
In recent years, their lives have been particularly tense, and they cannot live in the city, so they have to return to the countryside and do some small business in the countryside to make a living.
Later, Sun Long made a little money because of his self-media, and in order for his children to go to school, they gritted their teeth and bought a house, coupled with the fact that the business in the countryside was not good, they came back.
All of this is on their own.
After returning, the self-media also began to decline, Sun Long's income was stretched, at this time, the age of the teacher was released, and his wife was ready for the exam.
If his wife wants to take the exam, she has to enroll in classes, so she can't take care of her children and needs the help of her parents, but unfortunately, Sun Long's parents can't help at all.
I asked Sun Long, why can't I help?
Sun Long said that his mother had herself when she was almost 40 years old, and now she is more than 70 years old, and her father is about the same age, so he can't help at all.
I don't understand Sun Long, why has he been relying on himself for the past few years, is it difficult for his father not to save him a little money? When I finished speaking, I saw that Sun Long had a hint of helplessness.
He said: "You don't know, my father has been paralyzed since I was in high school, although he can take care of himself, but he has lost the ability to make money. ”
When he said that, I suddenly understood.
The main force of the family, losing the ability to make money, which is really a terrible thing, which can make a family fall into the abyss.
Since this is already the result, Sun Long did not complain, but tried to find a way, never expecting the family to give a penny to the sponsor, but now it is really too difficult.
Not only can parents not help with money, but it is a luxury to help take care of their two children.
Wherever the mother goes, she has to take her father with her, which is not enough, but if she does not come, the wife will not be able to learn, and can only circle around the child.
Since marriage, the wife has never complained about Sun Long's family, but now the wife has begun to complain.
In fact, this also can't blame the wife, change to any person, for a long time can not stand.
The wife wanted Sun Long's mother to come, and Sun Long knew that it was impossible to do so, so he told him that he could not do it, he originally thought that his wife would compromise, but the wife did not forgive.
Sun Long did not blame his wife, because this was all self-inflicted, and he could only sigh.
I have to say that Sun Long is quite sad, forced by life to be cornered, but he can only force a smile, he does not know how to go in the future, he can only take one step to see one step.
02 Without the help of parents, too tired
Originally, Sun Long felt that his wife would complain for a while, but now that his wife was no longer like this, she directly and clearly stated that she would either divorce or let her mother-in-law come to see the children.
As for Sun Long's father, she didn't want to care.
The wife said: "Before, because of life, I gave up my dream and felt that there was no chance, and now it is hard to have a chance, is it difficult to miss it again?" ”
Sun Long said that he would not let her miss it again, and if he did not, he would resign and go home to manage the children.
But the wife said: "You manage the children, the monthly mortgage and daily expenses to find who to ask, to find your parents?" ”
This sentence of his wife directly hit the key point of Sun Long.
Indeed, if he were to take care of the children, it would only be the result, but it would not work.
Sun Long said to me: "You may never be able to understand my feelings, it is really too difficult, I sometimes think that my parents are so old, why should they give birth to me." ”
It is true that Sun Long's words are angry words, but they are also forced to be anxious.
In this society now, our life pressure is too great, if there is no parental help, it is really too difficult.
Many times, when our parents gave birth to us, they never thought about our stress or the unexpected.
But many times, the unexpected and tomorrow coexist.
If Sun Long's father is not sick, then their life may not be like this now, even if they can't help financially, at least they can help other things.
I asked Sun Long how to solve it in the end, and Sun Long said that he could only be wronged by himself, he originally thought that his wife agreed to let him manage the children, but in fact, it was not.
The wife made it clear that if he managed the children, the family's economy could not be affected, because the mortgage had to be repaid and the daily expenses had to be spent.
Sun Long knew that these were not the problems that his wife deliberately embarrassed herself, but that she had to face up to.
Sun Long, who had no choice, had to work the night shift, wait for his wife to come back at 7 p.m., go home at 4 p.m. to sleep for two or three hours, and then continue the day's work.
I asked Sun Long, tired?
After asking this question, I suddenly wanted to punch myself in the face, how could I not be tired?
Sun Long smiled bitterly:
"It's impossible not to be tired, but what can you do about being tired?"
At this moment, I suddenly felt sympathy for Sun Long.
A seven-foot man, forced by life to look like this, is really helpless.
But if you think about it, most people live like this, isn't that the case?
Especially after entering middle age, I dare not slacken off in the unit, and I dare not resist because of injustice, plus there are old people in the family and young people in the family.
Think, who can help themselves?
In fact, no one, most people are in their own hard resistance.
If the parents are healthy and can help some help, the days will certainly be much looser, but just like the friend Sun Long, the parents are not in good health?
In fact, everyone who comes to this world to make a living is very tired, but even if they are tired, they can only grit their teeth and insist.
Perhaps, the road ahead is difficult to walk, but please believe that no matter how difficult the road is, there will be an end.
As long as the feet are on the road, they will always pull out the clouds and see the sky clear!
About the Author:
Su Xiaobei is a young writer and marriage counselor. Hope to use simple words to warm your heart.