"Only mothers are good in the world, and children with mothers are like treasures." A well-known nursery rhyme that succinctly and clearly explains the importance of mothers to children.
Yes, in the problem of children's education, almost every mom is full-time, while the vast majority of dads become part-time.
But the mothers' efforts sometimes do not get the response they deserve, especially after the children enter puberty, the mothers can't help but start to doubt life: "I have paid so much effort, why is the child's performance still unsatisfactory?" More netizens spoke out in despair: "I don't want to be a mother ten thousand times a day." ”
From the moment she became pregnant, the mother worried about the child. When pregnant, worry about whether the child is healthy, after giving birth to the child, worry about whether the child is full, whether it will get sick, and also afraid of the child bumping, even cooking, going to the bathroom to hold the child in his arms.
When the child goes to kindergarten, the mother is worried about whether the child is adapted and whether the child will be bullied by others at school. When the child is older, she has to accompany the child to write homework and attend various interest classes. When the child holds the mobile phone to play, the mother is worried that the child's vision is affected; when the child eats junk food, the mother is worried about whether the child's stomach can stand it; when the child sweats a little and undresses, the mother worries about whether the child will catch a cold...
Mom, became a tired life that everything was worried about. However, when the child is disobedient, the mother says that it is light, the child is not the same thing; the mother says that it is heavy, and the child is easy to treat the mother as a bad person. This is also what many netizens discussed: "Why do mothers pay more, but they are not understood by their children." ”
If the mother who is attentive everywhere but is always blown up can make seven changes, she will not only not be an enemy with her child, but also become the child's closest girlfriend or brother.
(1) Euphemistically express your expectations.
Due to the relationship between generations, many mothers take it for granted that they are more shrewd than their children, and often set limits for their children in an attempt to let their children develop in the direction they want. However, reality tells us that the child is a group with independent thinking ability, if the mother gives the child a lot of restrictions, not only can not get the child's support, but also suffer from the child's complaints.
For example, many mothers always like to use the tone of the command to let the child achieve the same goal as themselves, but the effect is often the left ear in the right ear out, and sometimes even the mother says it several times, and the child still chooses to turn a deaf ear.
We can replace phrases such as "what don't you want to do..." and "what can you do..." to "You can..."
(2) Respect children and make good use of polite words such as "thank you" and "please".
This morning, I saw such a dynamic in the circle of friends of my daughter's teacher.
"I don't know when the conversation with my mother became like this, a little warmth, and a little respect." 」 The picture shows her chat with her mother, who reminds her that "girl, it's raining outside, remember to bring an umbrella when you go out." And she replied, "Thanks, I'm not going out now." ”
There is a saying called: "A good word is warm in three winters, and a bad word hurts people in June." "Yes, if parents can pay as much attention as possible in the tone and use of words, children will naturally become polite people in words and deeds. And if parents like to talk straight and go straight, without considering the feelings of others, then children will learn the essence of it even at a young age.
When the child's TV sound is slightly louder, we can remind the child: "Son, please turn off the sound a little quieter, thank you." "When the child helps us with something that needs to be handed to us urgently, we must say "thank you" to the child in time.
(3) Grasp the part of the child's good performance and emphasize it.
Ignoring the part of the child's performance that is great, but pinching the part of the child's bad performance has become the most skilled operation for many mothers.
As moms, we always want our children to get better. So when the child is doing great, it seems in our thinking that this is what the child should do. When children make mistakes, we tend to teach at length, and some even rise to the level of punching and kicking.
But the facts tell us that if we insist on doing this for a long time, it will bring great trauma to the child's heart. Why, no matter how hard they work, parents will never see their own progress and advantages, but always remind themselves that they are very bad in all aspects.
However, being able to grasp the part of the child's good performance and make careful praise and praise will not only promote a more harmonious parent-child relationship, but also allow the child to restrain himself with higher requirements and become a self-disciplined person.
(4) Always smile at your child and don't immerse yourself in denial forever.
The mother always complains that the child cries and mourns every day, as if someone else borrowed his rice but returned his chaff. And I have ignored that in fact, we can see our shadow in children.
Although mothers are not saints, especially in the era when widowhood parenting is extremely common, mothers cannot help but complain, they cannot avoid getting angry, and they cannot avoid collapse. But we still need to remind ourselves: I want my children to be, so I have to do it first. For example, we want our children to fall in love with reading. What we have to do is not to order our children to read books with a straight face, but to develop a good habit of reading ourselves.
Please always remember that criticizing children is very simple, but smiling can warm the child's whole heart,
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Adolescent children, sensitive, fragile, in this critical period if we can do the above four changes, I believe that no matter how naughty the child, can not reverse!