Allow children to talk back to their parents,
It is also a kind of wisdom of parents.
Text | summer
The other day, my girlfriend complained to me:
"I really don't know how I've offended that kid in my family lately, and I'm doing everything against me."
I called him to dinner, and he said, "I just want ice cream now."
I urged him to clean up his room, and he not only sat and watched TV motionless, but also impatiently confronted me: my own room, whenever I want to clean up!
I told him to turn off the TV and go to brush his teeth to sleep, and he asked, "Why should I listen to you?"
Finally, the girlfriend said indignantly: This bear child, I say a word, he top a sentence, every day Angry my blood pressure soared! I really want to take a rag and plug his mouth, I really don't know if other people's children are like this?
I comforted my girlfriend a few words, and I deeply felt the same deeply.
I remember a survey: when your child grows up, what behavior do you hate most about your child?
More than 75% of parents have chosen to speak up.
Talking back seems to have become an unbearable behavior for most parents.
The backlash is actually
The awakening of the child's self-awareness
Many times, parents will talk back to their children as a sign of disobedience.
Then, trying to help the child get rid of this bad problem, from verbal suppression to force.
But I never seriously thought about it: Why do children talk back?
In the documentary "After Zero Zero", Meng Meng's parents feel that Meng Meng is becoming more and more rebellious as she grows older, and she likes to talk back to her parents more and more.
Meng Meng wants to go out with her best friend, and her father threatens Meng Meng because she forgot to bring her school bag:
If you don't get your bag back, don't go out and play.
Meng Meng cried and retorted to her father: Why? Why do you have to listen to Daddy for everything, I disagree.
Dad took Meng Meng to pick out glasses together, and as a result, Meng Meng liked the style Dad didn't like, and Dad liked Meng Meng also didn't like it.
Dad said impatiently: Which one do you really like?
Meng Meng helplessly replied: You don't understand me.
The atmosphere between father and daughter instantly dropped to the freezing point.
Dad can't understand why Meng Meng rebelled, and Meng Meng doesn't understand why Dad has so much dissatisfaction with himself?
An education expert once said:
There are 3 rebellious periods in a child's development.
The first rebellious period is 2-4 years old, and they will express their initial subjective consciousness through language such as "no", "not", "not";
The second rebellious period is 7-9 years old, they begin to have a strong sense of independence, often dissatisfied with the rules of the outside world, sometimes even a little unreasonable;
The third rebellious period is 12-17 years old, they are in adolescence, the pursuit of individual independence, freedom is even worse, hate all bondage.
Only after a period of rebellion can a child grow into an independent and autonomous individual.
Talking back is an act that occurs in every child's rebellious period.
Talking back indicates that the child's self-awareness and dignity have begun to awaken.
What is copyright? Copyright, also known as copyright rights, refers to the exclusive rights enjoyed by the authors of various works in various aspects of their works, the fruits of the labor of others, and cannot be pirated at will. Everyone has something they crave, and what they crave will change with growth. The thing I've longed for since junior high school is rest. The biggest difference between junior high school and elementary school seems to me to be that the pressure is getting more and more, learning is getting more and more difficult, and a little relaxation will not be able to keep up with the pace of the teacher. It takes only an hour to do homework in elementary school, and sometimes it is written in school. How much time to play, not to mention how happy it is. In junior high school, math alone made me want to break my head, and I wrote for more than an hour, not to mention English and Chinese. And when it comes to junior high school, it is all about the big exam three years later. Learning is like a hill that overwhelms me. The weekend was supposed to be a time to rest and play. But now they are all occupied by this "monster" who is studying. Every weekend, the children downstairs in my house run around like chicken blood, like monkeys. And me? I had to stay at my desk at home and fight the "army" of homework. It was hard to wipe out the homework "army", I just wanted to find the computer "beauty", my boss mom appeared. I had to laugh and sneak back to the "front line" to fight. After a day of hard fighting, exhausted, I just wanted to rest for a while, but I thought that there were still tasks to be completed and had to dispel this idea. I had to stay at my desk. Dad sneaked up on me and said to me, "Daughter, let's go bike around the island!" I just had a good word to pop out and I choked back at the thought of those tasks, only to answer "Uh... But I didn't finish it. Dad said with a look of indifference: "It's okay, I have to go out to exercise once in a while." Have a good body to learn better! I thought about it and thought it was quite reasonable, but when I thought about the way my mother looked when she was angry, I retreated and said timidly, "But my mother can't explain it." "Rest assured, I'll tell your mother!" Dad patted his chest, "Okay, pack up, we're ready to go!" "I thought about it, or go out and play with the mentality of seeing death as a homecoming!" I packed up quickly and was just getting ready to go out with my dad. Before one foot could step out, Mom came back. Grabbing me and my dad was a scolding. As a result, I went back to my desk. I longed for rest, even if it was only for a few hours. Put the hill down a little bit and let me catch my breath. All right? Why protect copyright? Because the author has spent a lot of time, energy and painstaking efforts to complete the work, before it is officially released, piracy is already flying everywhere, which will bring huge losses to the author. Think about it from another angle, if you are an author, you have a hard time completing a book, you are preparing to publish a book, but when you go to the bookstore to see, your thick stack of books is there, and the income is not you, what will you think? Therefore, everyone should support the genuine version, protect the copyright, refuse piracy, and report the pirated version in time. Pirated books have poor paper, typos, and missed pages; pirated CDs have blurred images and chaotic sounds; fine art works have dim colors and many flaws... These pirated things not only infringe on the author's copyright, but also cause misunderstandings for readers in bad places. For their own interests, some people copy and sell the fruits of other people's labor, which greatly infringes on the right to work. The legs are sore, but the heart is happy. It can't be said that it is a servant of the wind and dust, but it is indeed not without hard work. We completed the most significant activity of our first high, pulling exercises. It is not only a test of the physical quality of the soldiers, but also a test of our willpower. On the first day of military training, the student representative once said that persistence is only one more stroke than giving up, and this extra stroke is the most important one we can complete the activity. I'm happy that I can take the most important first step in high school. Along the way, I saw many scenes that I couldn't see in Hangzhou and in the towns, there were fields, there were many simple and kind farmers working hard, and there were many cute children shouting enviously at us: "Look! They are so mighty. "But when we enjoy this beautiful scenery, we are also subjected to the double tempering of psychology and body, the psychology is very much wanted to rest, and the body is needless to say, very tired and sour, our physical strength and endurance are plummeting." When I saw that the students did not shout bitterness and did not shout tired, insisted on walking and keeping up with the large troops; saw the teachers helping the students to take bags and water, ran to the front to take pictures of the students; saw the instructor constantly cheering up the morale of the students, shouting passwords to the students, cheering the students; seeing that every classmate who fell behind had a teacher to take care of, fan the wind, pour water, my "combat effectiveness" went up, I want to say "Teacher, instructor you have worked hard!" "When I was almost at my destination, one instructor said that it was almost time to arrive at the chimney, not so much to say that Wangmei quenched his thirst, but rather that he was walking in the rain, and the rain was flying and jumping at my fingertips. The flowers bloomed even more because of the rain, and the calm lakeside in the rain was rippled with ripples, and the raindrops fell on the branches, pressing the flowers to nod frequently. Rain is the tears of beauty, a baptism, the purification of the soul, the hope of life. And I received a baptism, a rain of tears of beauty. When I was a child, I loved everything in one. Since the birth of his brother, his parents have begun to circle around his brother. Since then, I have begun to hate my brother, secretly hiding the sugar my mother gave me to my brother; leaving my brother at home when my parents are not there; hiding my brother's toys from playing. But my brother smiled at me and never told my parents. "Hmm, don't think I'll be nice to you." That experience locked a lock on my heart. In an exam, my brother's 100 points were praised by his parents, my brother's face was full of pride and happiness, while the 100 points in my hand were unattended, my hands were slightly trembling, and I made a decision in my heart. From that day on, I began to hate, and I was inspired to do better and work harder than my brother. In the primary school graduation exam, I won the first place in the class, and when I handed the red exam paper to my mother with joy, my mother just said very usually: "Well, it's okay, keep up the gas." He hurried out with his father. It turned out that my brother was sick again, and I was injected in the hospital, and my heart was full of joy and was swept away, but I suddenly felt very lonely and depressed in my heart, and my heart was full of wounds. This kind of sister-brother relationship lasted until the second year of junior high school, when the rain fell so much that day that it was like pouring cold water on my heart. My brother should have someone to wait. Looking at the dark clouds, the fierce wind blew my neck cold, and I shrunk my neck like an ostrich to get a little more warmth. "Alas, there is going to be a typhoon, and it is time to go home and become a chicken in the soup." I can almost imagine my brother on the couch watching TV and drinking hot water to warm his body when I was drenched all over my body. Just as I was rushing into the heavy rain, a call stopped me and stopped. "Sister, I've come to pick you up and take you home." At some point, my brother was already on my shoulder, he was standing in the rain with a yellow scarf and a red umbrella, and the crimson warmth filled my atrium, swelling and swelling little by little. "Sister, you are one of the girls I waited for in the rain." My heart trembled slightly, tears swirling in my eyes. The wind howled, my neck shrank involuntarily, and my brother took off the scarf that was wrapped around my neck and curled it up around my neck. There was still the temperature of his brother on his neck, and his neck felt very warm. I don't know whether it was tears or rain that slipped from my cheeks, my brother was talking about the school as always, and the noise that had been felt before was suddenly gone, only a warm and low voice, giving people a sense of security. At that moment, my heart trembled, and my thoughts rolled in my mind, all the way wordless. Sister, brother, the most common in the world, the plain language is evocative. The rain gradually stopped, the sun ran out of the dark clouds mischievously, and after the rainy day was always sunny, the sky was twinkling with this colorful rainbow. I shared a beautiful tear shower with my brother. Rain is the baptism of the soul, the telling of love. Boost morale. I completed the 10-kilometer long march at the insistence, and I am very satisfied and proud. Today is the third day of military training, and I have begun another day of training, the most tiring is to stand in the military posture, under the hot sun, my sweat and tears blend together, sweat soaked my hair, hanging on my eyebrows, on the ends, flowing into the eyes, dripping on the bridge of my nose. But I was determined not to move or give up, because all the students and soldiers were insisting and willing to persevere, and even if they really couldn't stand it, they would eventually return to the team, and the instructors and teachers were also accompanying us to dry. If you are a student soldier, you can't give up lightly, you must be yourself, and our future goal is to enter a first-class university, how can we give up? How can you concede defeat? When you see the red flag, you must carry it, and if you have the first one, you must have a sense of responsibility, you must have the courage to fight, and if you are not a good man until the Great Wall, you must persist to the end. I saw the persistence of the students and the fighting spirit of the students, and I was very proud that I joined the big family of the students. In the future, this group of scrappy teenagers will achieve unprecedented glory for themselves, for the class, for the school, and for the student army The book "Alive", Yu Hua wrote calmly, did not deliberately render, I saw it calmly, coping with the life experience of the old man in the book, there was no wave rolling in my heart, this is the most ordinary life in that society. The old man's name is Fugui, from the rich young master to the lower class, like a thunderbolt on a sunny day, the young master who puts his soul in prostitution and gambling wakes up, and only then does he begin to cherish the relatives around him and plan to start again. Fate seems to deliberately punish Fugui for the mistakes he made, after bankruptcy, he lost his father one after another, grabbed medicine for his mother and was arrested to be a strong ding, nine deaths and a lifetime back home, his mother has long died, and his daughter Fengxia has also become deaf and mute due to an illness. After that, the people's commune was formed, and everything in the family went to the people's commune. During this time, the wife contracted hypochondriasis, which became increasingly severe. The Fugui family is not alone, and his son Youqing dies in a blood collection accident, and is killed by a ruthless doctor to save the county magistrate's wife. Daughter Fengxia died in childbirth, leaving only her son Bitterroot, and four years later, her son-in-law Erxi died in a construction site accident, leaving Fugui and his grandson to rely on each other. Death refused to give even this only happiness to Fugui, and took the life of Bitterroot. Fugui's life is like a small boat, wandering in the ocean of society, how can the power of the boat resist the ocean? Fukugui is only at the mercy of fate, the only thing he can do is to cling to all the "straw" and not let go, ninja, alive, just like a boat only rises and falls with the waves, the only thing he can do is not to let himself fall. Fugui's life is ordinary, but there is a power that makes people sigh for him after closing the book. It is the strength of his own people who have endured the natural disasters of old age and illness and death, the power of the ashes of society, a kind of forbearance; it is the strength of his stumbling forward, stumbling forward, stumbling and living, a life force, no matter how bitter and difficult it is. The years passed by me, and in the blink of an eye I had passed through twelve spring, summer, autumn and winter, just like sitting in a train and watching the scenery, fleeting. One day, on a whim, I asked my mom to take me to the pet store to buy puppies. At a glance, I saw that the body was chubby, white without a single flaw, especially the big eyes that were shining brightly, and it was very pleasing to watch. I decided to treat it well in the future, but I didn't protect it and let it hurt. It was like a well-trained police dog, so obedient, never barked when it slept at night, that day, I took it for a walk, I was on the phone with my classmates, facing the bicycle I was riding on was also busy on the phone, when I saw him it was too late, suddenly, Xiao Bai ran out of nowhere, for me to suffer, I rushed to hold it, running to the hospital, I wanted to say to it: "How are you so stupid, even your own life may be little white innocent big eyes touched God, That's why he won't say goodbye to me. It was Xiao Bai who saved me, so that I did not bear the pain, and I did not hesitate to mention that I had to bear it, I understood that there are feelings in the human world, and animals also have feelings. Copyright infringement mainly includes piracy, random correction, signature, destruction, counterfeiting and other acts, and everything must be approved by the author, otherwise it is illegal. Serious acts are also punishable by imprisonment, confiscation of illegal gains and collection of fines. Compensation should also be made, apologized, and the impact eliminated in a timely manner, otherwise others will not be able to obtain due compensation if they are infringed. Copyright needs everyone to maintain, support the genuine, refuse piracy, is everyone's duty, take action, protect the copyright around it! All the Chinese will have a red heart to the party, the national flag of new China, bright and bright inlaid with a big star representing the Communist Party, and four shining small stars symbolizing the working class, the peasant class, the petty bourgeoisie and the national bourgeoisie. If someone asks me, what is the party in your heart? I can proudly say that the party is a flying flag, a beacon of guidance; if someone asks me, how much does the party weigh in my heart? I can solemnly answer that the party weighs a thousand pounds in my heart! "Wear the limelight of the years, accompanied by the smoke of history". The Communist Party of China has gone through eighty years of stormy journeys. Finally liberated. I am proud of my motherland; I am proud of the Communist Party. We sang with passion: Dedicated to the party, me, I, you are warm! I want to be a small fish, I don't need to carry a heavy school bag, I don't need to worry about traffic safety, I can swim freely in the river, and I can also sunbathe, how comfortable! Until one day, my mother took me to the Mamu River, and I saw many uncles with fishing nets and fishing rods, and salvaged a lot of small shrimp and small fish. oh! It turns out that the little fish is not as free as imagined. Do you know? The little fish will also shed tears, but they have no eyelids, they can't hide big tears, and they can only live in the water, and the tears are drowned, and now I deeply realize that every river in my hometown Wuxiang County, where the little fish live, is seriously polluted. I don't want the little fish to shed tears of pain. Please don't think that everything in front of us has nothing to do with us because we live in such a small county with beautiful mountains and rivers, do you have to wait until the time of burning your eyebrows to worry, to pay attention to, to protect? Therefore, from now on, start from the bits and pieces around you, save resources and reduce pollution. Establish a correct sense of environmental protection, promote green development, and build a beautiful Wuxiang! As a flower of the motherland, we can always get meticulous care and care from teachers and parents. What about as a small fish? Every time I see a beautiful and agile little fish, I feel extremely cute and envious. The fish gradually grew from small eggs to colorful little fish, separated from the care of the mother of the fish, lived alone, and later died for various reasons. The little fish are always so free to swim around. It is also possible to share a piece of water with small shrimp, small tadpoles, and small turtles. This is my impression of the river's past. Listening to my father, a few years ago, the banks of the Mamu River were lined with trees, the river was crystal clear, and small fish swam around and lived a carefree life. To write about people, we must grasp the characteristics of the characters in order to write the characters vividly. To write good characters, we must first pay attention to observing all kinds of people in daily life, and carefully observe the characters' speech and behavior, appearance and psychology, living habits, hobbies, etc., familiar with them, and understand them. For example, in the class you are in, there are forty or fifty classmates, each with a different appearance, temper, personality and hobbies, some are thick and honest, some are clever and mischievous, some talk like machine guns, some talk like machine guns, some talk at a glance, slow and logical. Two good classmates walked on the road, suddenly drove a sprinkler truck, one was anxious to quickly dodge, so as not to spill a body of water; one not only did not dodge, but also smiled and ran with the sprinkler truck, letting the water sprayed out of the car wash his feet... If you observe carefully, then the characters written will be vivid and real. Now, the Mamu River is not as beautiful as in the past, the two sides of the river are piled up with garbage, rainy days, rainwater will wash the sediment into the river, sewage pouring down, coupled with the ravages of fishing boats, industrial wastewater pollution, so that the river becomes turbid, in such an environment, small fish can not survive. I believe that we should take corresponding measures in this regard and not sit still. First of all, we should deal with the sources of pollution and strengthen the people's awareness of environmental protection by holding publicity activities in the county; then, control the source of pollution and limit the emission of polluting substances; secondly, there are more along the river; 1. The first satirical novel of the mainland: The History of Rulin 2. The first translation of the mainland to introduce the theory of evolution: Yan Fu's translation of Huxley's "TheOry of Heaven", he is a person who has become a translator by not understanding the outside. 3. The first collection of literary short stories created by the mainland: Liaozhai Zhiyi 4.The first short story in the history of new literature in the mainland is: Diary of a Madman 5.The first writer to open up the "fairy tale garden" is: Ye Shengtao 6.The first romantic mythological novel in the mainland: Journey to the West 7.The first reportage work is: (Xia Yan) Wrapping Work 8.The first writer in New China to win the title of "People's Artist": Lao She. His works are: Longsugou 9.The two major xianxue in the pre-Qin period are: Confucianism 10.The two representative figures of Confucianism are: Kong Qiu and Mencius, who are revered as the most holy and yasheng respectively. 11. During the Kaiyuan and Tianbao years of the Tang Dynasty, there were two major schools of words, namely, The Biansai poems represented by Gao Shi and Cen Shan, represented by Wang Wei and Meng Zai, the former were majestic and luxurious, and the latter was idyllic and sparse 12. Often divided the Song words into bold and elegant two schools. The former is represented by Su Shi and Xin Qijie, and the latter is represented by Liu Yong, Zhou Bangyan, and Li Qingzhao. 13. The two banners held high by the "May Fourth" New Culture Movement: Opposing Old Rites, Advocating New Morality, Opposing Old Literature, and Advocating New Literature 14. The authors of the two "Diary of a Madman>> are: Lu Xun of the Gogol Continent in Russia 15. There are two epic poems in world literature: Iliad Odyssey 16.The Three Jewels of Buddhism are: Buddha (great knowledge) Dharma (the teachings of the Buddha) Monks (those who inherit or preach the teachings) 17.Three from the Four Virtues: Unmarried from the father, married from the husband and died from the son Four Virtues: Female Virtue Woman Speech Female Appearance Female Gong / Virtue Speech Ritual Female Worker 18.The first volt, the middle volt, and the last volt are collectively referred to as the three volts. The third day of the summer solstice festival is the first day of the first volt, the fourth day is the first day of the middle volt, and the first day after the Autumn Festival is the first day of the last volt. Ten days after the first volt, ten days after the last volt, ten or twenty days after the middle volt. 19. Three Principles and Five Constants: Three Principles: Father as Son Gang Qun as Subject Gang Fu as Wife Gang Five Constants: Ren Yi Li Zhi Xin 20.Three Gu Liu Po: San Gu: Nun Dao Gu Gua Gu Liu Po: Matchmaker Shi Po (Witch) Ya Po Qian Po Medicine Mother Midwife 21.Three Emperors and Five Emperors: Three Emperors: Three Emperors: Fu Xi Fu Ren Shennong Five Emperors: Yellow Emperor Zhao Zhao Zhao Yao Shun 22.Three Sects and Nine Streams: Three Religions: Confucian Interpretation Nine Streams: Confucian Taoist Yin and Yang Dharma Name Ink Vertical and Horizontal Miscellaneous Farmers 23.Three Mountains and Five Mountains: Three Immortal Mountains in the East China Sea: Yingzhou, Penglai, Abbot; Wuyue: Five Mountains: East Yue Taishan South Yue Heng Mountain North Yue Heng Shan Zhongyue Song Mountain 24.Three Sexes: Cattle, Sheep and Pigs for Sacrifice (Tai Prison) (No Cattle for Less Prison) 25.Trinity: The principle of drama creation formulated by European classical generalized drama theorists is that the location is consistent, the time is consistent, and the plot is consistent. 26. Buddhist Samadhi: Stop worrying and concentrate the mind on one state. (One of the methods of practice) 27.Buddhism Sanzang: Generally speaking the fundamental teachings as the scriptures, expounding the precepts as the law, expounding the teachings as the theory (the three Tibetans are called sanzang masters) 28.Three provinces and six ministries: three provinces: Zhongshu Province (decision-making) Menxia Province (deliberation) Shangshu Province (execution) Six parts: Officials Ceremonial Soldiers 29.Sansu: Su Xun Su Shi Su Rui Three Armies: Upper, Middle and Lower/Left Center Right/Sea, Land and Air 30.Three Wu: Wu County Wu Xinghui Ji (Danyang) Three Kingdoms: Wei Shu Wu 31.Three Qin: YongWang (West) Sai Wang (East) Qu Wang (Northern Shaanxi) 32. Sanchu: Gangling - South Chu Wu - East Chu Pengcheng - West Chu Daya Bay is mine. hometown. The sea there, sparkling and endless. Its intoxicating scenery attracts many Chinese and foreign tourists. In the early morning, the microwaved sea is shrouded in a hazy mist, like a light veil. Gradually, a fish belly was white in the east, and the golden sunlight stained a variety of clouds. Then the sun rises. It sprinkled brilliant sunlight on the earth and drove away the morning mist and mischievous dewdrops. On the soft sand, you can already see the figures of the stars. Then there was a burst of laughter, and the beach became lively and full of joy. Barefoot, facing the slightly fishy sea breeze, people run freely on the beach, letting the sea kiss their feet. The children built walls on the beach, dug out the moat, clapped their hands, and showed a big smile. The originally calm sea has also become busy, and there are often huge ships sailing by, and the river is endless... The sun gradually set in the west, the curtain of the night slowly opened, and the moon climbed up the mountain. The other side is already a thousand lights. Bright reflections reflect the sea. A breeze blew through, and the sea rippled, and the reflections became a moving painting. It was late at night, the lights on the other side were extinguished by a lamp, the sea became calmer and calmer, and the beach was no longer as lively as it had just been... People have fallen asleep and they are waiting for a new day to come... 33. Three Primary Colors: Red, Green and Blue 34.Three Graves five classics: Three tombs: Fuxi Shennong Yellow Emperor Five classics: Shao Hao Zhen Gao Xin Tang Yao Yu Shun 35.Three-body stone classic: Shang Shu Chunqiu Zuo Zhuan / Ancient Chinese XiaoZhuan Han Li three fonts to write tree planting, maintain water and soil; finally, advocate water conservation, electricity consumption, and establish the virtue of thrift and thrift. Warm and gentle sun! We are happy to soak up your sunshine. You are a lush and green tree! We frolicked happily under the big trees. You are the bright and tall street lights on the side of the road! We are on the path to success under your illumination. Charity, running schools; those who want their children to get rich must give more relief to the poor; if they want their children and grandchildren to be healthy, they should give more medicine. This is the only person who is good. The same goes for filial piety. Many people are very filial, buying a lot of supplements for their parents, buying unnecessary things, and even holding a banquet to celebrate their birthday. The world seems to be lively, but in fact it is not filial piety, because it has damaged the blessings of parents. When people have a birthday, they have to kill so many people. In the Republic of China, there was an old man who died, and his son held a banquet for three hundred tables, and in a few days, the old man said to the dream, I could have gone to heaven to enjoy the blessings, but because you killed too much, I was judged in the mansion, and I could not come out. It can be seen that although the money spent on the children is spent, it is destroying the blessings of the elderly. Parents spend a lot of unnecessary money, but also the blessing of the child, which is also the way of heaven and no relatives. So don't celebrate the birthday of the child, the child can read, and the parents should not be proud too early and preach everywhere. Being strict with your child is of great benefit to his growth. Excessive waste of money to children is a loss of children's blessings, not to mention that many people waste in the company, and even in the state unit waste, are all loss of blessings. Many people want to make easy money, but they don't know that this is also an overdraft blessing, not for a long time. We need to have the concept of knowing that merit is shallow and unblessed. Many things are given by others, but our blessings may not be used. Understanding this truth, life will be a lot less painful and troublesome! "People's Daily" once issued an article angrily denouncing college students who are still sleeping: during class, they are either in a daze, sleeping, or playing mobile phones, and the only way to live after school is to eat snacks, watch dramas, and indulge in games. There is no figure of you in the library, and you never step into the workplace on the sports field, and such people are not in the minority. Stepping on the door of the company when I go to work, I am absent-minded an hour before work. Play with mobile phones, brush Microblogs, and drag the work in your hand. I really can't drag on to force myself to add a shift, but I must send a circle of friends and ask: "Have you ever seen an office building at twelve o'clock at night?" "I was so touched that I couldn't do it, but I ignored that this was a job that should have been done long ago during the day." Work, do not have to be serious, can cope with the boss; ability, do not think of enterprising, not fired; as for the salary, as long as you have a dream, one day will rise. Such a person, not really "Buddhist", but still envy others for promotion and salary increase, but with a salary of 3,000, do a monthly salary of 50,000, I like to travel, and prefer to go to green places. The so-called green refers to the place where the green grass is green and the trees are shaded, where nature is and a happy factory. Travel is always happy. I walked between the green mountains and waters again, my heart was particularly relaxed, all my troubles were swept away, and I jumped around happily, breathing in this fresh air. The place I've been to that I remember the most is Zhangjiajie. The mountains there were green and straight, as straight as birch trees. The water there was cool, clear, as bright as glass. The sun was shining brightly and sparkling there. In such an environment, it is difficult to be unhappy. And Wawu Mountain, which is a beautiful place! When we went, there was a lot of fog, five meters in front of us can't be seen, the feet are like stepping on the clouds, after walking for a while, the fog dissipated, I looked down, my heart was lifted, this is a cliff! Looking further ahead, wow! A slender waterfall hangs from the mountains, and the view is truly picturesque. This mountain, that stream, this cave, that lake, are all places that my heart yearns for, and they can bring me happiness. When the holidays come, I choose a place to relax. I love travel; I love landscapes; I love nature; I love happiness. I love the magic of nature, I love the secluded jungle trails, I love the mirror-like lakes, but I love and love the joy they bring me! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He began to think for himself, began to express himself strongly, wanted to defend his right to speak, and wanted his parents to see his inner appeal.
Children's rebuttal is not disobedience, uncultured, and deliberately opposed, but they use language to confront their parents, find themselves, and establish their own personality.
Allow your child to talk back
It is a kind of wisdom
I have watched a reality TV show, and the little treasure in it is a child who loves to talk back.
His dad supervised him playing the violin and always liked to hold a brush and point at him to pick faults.
This made him very disgusted, and he couldn't help but angrily say to his father: Don't use this to point at me.
Dad criticized him for playing the piano in the wrong position, and he said: Then you label me.
At a family meeting, Mom and Dad pointed out a lot of his shortcomings together and hoped that he would correct them.
He did not show any weakness in his reaction to Mom and Dad:
Dad always looks for other people's problems, but never finds his own problems, such as violin, the teacher will not, is not good at teaching children. Sometimes moms don't have very good emotional control.
In several arguments with his parents, he was calm, quick-witted, and straight to the point.
It not only expressed his dissatisfaction, but also had a reasonable and well-founded poke at the pain points of his parents, leaving his parents speechless.
Have to be impressed.
Even hailan, an off-site education expert, couldn't help but praise:
The child who resists has the advantage, one is that the family atmosphere is enlightened, and the other is that the child has a very strong ability to think independently, in order to stand up to the pain of the parents.
In fact, there will inevitably be differences between parents and children.
Children dare to follow their own hearts, defend their own positions, express their opinions, and will not be timid when encountering things in the future, and have the ability to solve problems independently.
And the child will also exercise the logical thinking ability and language expression ability in the mouth again and again, which is more conducive to interacting with people in the future.
Allowing children to talk back to their parents is also a kind of wisdom for parents.
Children who dare to talk back
Tends to be more independent and assertive
Princeton University in the United States once did a study:
Divide the 2-5 year olds into two groups, one group of children like to talk back and are more resistant. The other group of children is sensible and obedient, and the resistance is weak.
The results found that 80% of children with strong resistance have the ability to analyze, judge things and make decisions independently, while only 24% of children with weak resistance can grow up to act independently, and their judgment ability is also weak, often needing to be patient with others.
It can be seen that children who will resist not only know clearly what they want, but also dare to achieve their goals independently.
The famous educator Liu Yong was very strict with the education of his son Liu Xuan, and he often asked Liu Xuan to learn Chinese on holidays.
When Liu Xuan wanted to go out to play, he asked him to pick up pine cones, sweep leaves, and clean the drainage ditch under the eaves.
Liu Xuan felt that his father had nothing to do, so he often talked back to his father and did it.
His father also often scolded him as a rebellious "bastard boy".
Once, my father scolded Liu Xuan: Why are you always so rebellious?
Liu Xuan said with a straight face: "Because I think I have grown up, I shouldn't listen to you." So you tell me to go left, I'm going to go right, I have my own ideas, I should find myself where I am!
It is in this way that Liu Xuan, who has a strong sense of self, has surprised everyone when he grows up.
Despite his father's objections, he studied the psychology he liked and became a well-known psychologist.
Using the agile thinking he had trained from years of fighting with his father, he reacted quickly and entered the media, becoming a representative of Taiwanese cultural media people.
He used his character of not accepting defeat, liking to experiment, and like to challenge, bravely exploring his various possibilities, and achieved good results.
He went to plan advertising and became a well-known creative and brand consultant in Taiwan.
He went to a speech contest and became the national champion of "I Am an Orator".
His independence, self-confidence, bravery, and perseverance have filled his life with surprises and realized various possibilities.
As dr. Angelica Fass, a German child psychologist, put it:
Children who can argue with their parents will grow up to be more confident, assertive, creative, and dare to challenge themselves.
Therefore, children who will resist are often expected in the future.
But selectively "compromise"
The process of the child's mouth-talking is the process of the child arguing for himself, in fact, it is also the process of the parents guiding them to what is right and what is wrong.
We allow children to resist, but we do not allow children to act arbitrarily.
When children talk back, we need to selectively "compromise."
1. Non-principled issues, be gentle
I once read a post about parents criticizing their children, and there were two comments that resonated with many netizens:
When I was a child, you were trained, you just said a word, he said you resisted. If you don't say a word, he says you're dumb. Parents can never tell the difference between explanation and rhetoric.
Many parents treat their children as if they were against themselves.
But in fact, there are many reasons why children hide their mouths:
Maybe it's trying to express what you're thinking, maybe you want to get your parents' attention, maybe you hate the feeling of being suppressed by your parents, commanding...
If parents rudely define their children as bad behavior, they not only close the channel of good communication with their children, but also hurt the parent-child relationship.
Therefore, in the face of those things that will not break the rules, will not affect others, and will not be dangerous, we can compromise appropriately and listen to the voice of the child.
In the past, my son and I often had conflicts over homework.
I want my son to come home from school and write his homework as soon as possible, and my son always likes to play for a while before writing homework.
I remember once warning my son in a commanding tone: You must now go back to the house to do your homework, or I will throw away all your toys.
My son angrily confronted me: I know I have to write homework, but why can't I play first and then write homework, and listen to you for everything.
My son's words made me choke for a while and woke me up.
Yeah, why can't I listen to my children?
So, I began to seriously and sincerely ask my son's feelings and thoughts: Do you want to play first, or do you write homework first?
Then, I expressed my thoughts to my son: If you play first, you may not be doing your homework until late. If you write your homework first, you can play happily and don't have to worry about writing homework for a while.
My son thought hard about it and accepted my suggestion happily.
This made me understand one thing: when parents and children are in conflict, don't think of the child as a troublemaker, but as an active participant in solving the problem.
Only with gentle guidance and let children feel love and respect, children are willing to communicate well with their parents.
2. On issues of principle, the attitude should be firm
I once watched a video of a father taking his two daughters to the supermarket, and the younger daughter deliberately knocked out the things in her sister's hands.
The father was angry and asked the younger daughter to apologize to her sister.
The little daughter angrily refused, and lay on the ground screaming loudly, and slyly said: No, I don't apologize, I didn't mean it.
The little girl's sister pleaded with her father: Forget it, she doesn't have to apologize.
When the little girl heard this, she continued to confront her father with some pride: She said it, and I don't have to apologize.
However, Dad struggled to control his emotions, looked at her seriously, and demanded again and again in a firm tone that she must apologize.
In the end, the little girl apologized to her sister under her father's tough attitude.
You see, allowing children to speak up is not allowing children to be brazen and rude.
The child's thinking is not mature, and those "rude things", "dangerous things", "easy to cause damage" must firmly say "no" to the child.
Only in this way will the child have a precept in his heart and stop his actions.
I remember someone saying that the most precious sentence of Chinese parents is - children, what do you think?
In fact, children are not always wrong, and parents are not all right.
Blindly commanding or forcing children to obey will inevitably lead to children's rebellion.
Only when parents first learn to change their attitudes can children change their attitudes.
The way parents treat their children with their mouths shuts down hides the way their children fight with the future.
Allowing children to resist and stand firmly with children can help children go more steadily and farther on the road to growth.