Wen | condensed mother's understanding
A parent knelt in front of a mother and made a request: There are so many schools in this city, you can change one!
In the background is a group of standing parents, holding a sign with the words "Return my normal environment" in their hands, which is difficult to understand.
Mom looks capable and gentle, not like an unreasonable bear parent. The child is white and cute, and it does not look like a bear child who is in trouble.
So why should parents band together to try to get rid of this child?
It turned out that this child was autistic, behaved differently from ordinary children, and once used a pencil to prick the hands of classmates, bite the arms of classmates, disrupt the order of the classroom, and stand in the corridor to pee.
Parents believe that the existence of this child affects the normal school life of the children, and do not want their children to be harmed, so they unite to drive them away.
This is a clip from the movie "Xihe", adapted from a real case: In September 2012, 19 parents in Shenzhen jointly wrote a letter to the principal, asking for the dismissal of an autistic child.
There must be such a voice in our subconscious, special children should go to special schools, why do they have to go to ordinary schools?
The hearts of parents in the world, who does not want their children to have a better future!
Why do parents choose to send their children to regular schools?
The problem with autistic children is that they are stunted and lack normal verbal communication and social communication skills.
If you are enrolled in a special school, you can only contact with special education teachers and contact with children with the same problems, and the space for improving your language level and social communication skills will be limited.
If you study in a normal school, you can contact normal children with different personalities and receive diversified education, and your children's language ability and social communication ability will have more room for development.
Children adapt to society at an early age in school, and can only integrate into society when they grow up. Parents certainly want their children to become a social person, have a larger circle of life, and be able to support themselves better, rather than just being grounded at home and doing nothing. After all, parents cannot accompany their children for a lifetime, and they must make life plans for their children.
Now many autistic families have the ultimate goal of "self-care of social life", and many people have achieved success by adopting this principle of "social rehabilitation" to improve their children's social adaptability.
In "Walking with You: Parents of Autistic Children Must Read", there is a case: Ah Hai was diagnosed with autism at the age of 3, started to go to ordinary school from kindergarten, adapted to school life in the fourth grade, graduated from secondary school, found a job, and talked about a girlfriend, and his life was basically close to ordinary people.
Of course, there are also some particularly accomplished people, such as Stephen Shaw, who is a university professor with a Bachelor of Arts and a Bachelor of Arts in Accounting and Informatics, a Master of Arts, and a Doctorate in Education. Ti Lawson is an Australian psychologist who also holds numerous titles as an artist, writer, poet, and university master's tutor.
It is difficult for children with autism to attend regular schools
However, because people do not understand autism, the rejection of autistic children is more serious, and children face many difficulties in going to ordinary schools.
Parents have some scruples about autistic children, always unconsciously classify them as bad children, pose a threat to their children, and do not want their children's lives and learning to be disturbed and affected.
In terms of learning, autistic children can't sit still, which can distract other children. Behaviorally, children with autism may be aggressive, or otherwise abnormal, that affect the child's mood, cause the child to be hurt, or imitate.
Some parents even think that autism is contagious and do not allow their children to play with them. A parent, Hu Xiaohua, once witnessed a classmate's mother slapping her child in front of her and her child, just because the child was playing with the autistic child.
Children may discriminate against autistic children, or look down on some of their behaviors, triggering some bullying behavior.
In the movie "Xihe", the autistic child Xiang xiang to adolescence, began to appear some unspeakable behavior, he did not know that in public will make people feel uncomfortable, no scruples. The result infuriated several children, who dragged him to the toilet and bullied him.
The teacher also feels very embarrassed, has no special teaching experience, does not know what behaviors will occur in autistic children, and has no plan. Teachers have many management tasks and limited energy, and may not be able to share special energy with them. When the child has a problem, the teacher can only turn to the parents, and in serious cases, can only dissuade.
How can children better integrate into ordinary schools?
Although it is difficult to go to school, many parents will try it, what if it is successful? The Disability Law states that children with autism have equal access to education and cannot be arbitrarily deprived of them.
In order to better integrate children into school life, parents need to work together with the school and society.
Parents should take positive measures to guide and correct their children's behavior at home, so that children can know their classmates, understand the rules of the school, and try to sit still and not attack others.
Some parents do a very good job, they will write down the names of their classmates one by one for their children to know, and draw out the things that should be done and should not be done in the form of illustrations, so that the children can seriously understand and treat them.
Parents are afraid that their children will affect others, and will use the form of accompanying reading, and immediately deal with abnormal situations to minimize interference with others.
Some parents use the form of half-day schooling, so that their children can receive general school education and rehabilitation training at the same time, develop in parallel, and better adapt to society.
Schools should understand the child's possible behavior, make a corresponding plan, and give the child more attention. At the same time, it is necessary to tell other parents and children the truth so that they are mentally prepared.
Encourage other children to help, be more considerate, not bully or pity, and socialize with them normally, so that children have dignity and obtain normal social skills.
Some schools do very well and always do their best to help children. One child was always running around, running away in class, and the teacher would let the other children go and get him back. Because this child is not aggressive, parents are also very encouraged to approach him, and this child has a happy life at school.
As ordinary parents, we can watch some autism-themed movies, related reports and cases to understand the family and life of autistic children from the side.
We will learn that not all children with autism are aggressive, they are also smart, focused, and can live a normal life with care and affection. Therefore, it is possible to let down one's guard.
If several aspects form a synergy, the child is taken care of accordingly in school, and the child will have a positive development.
epilogue
Tempo Grandin, a famous autistic and professor of zoology, said that "if the people around us lack understanding of them, even Einstein (who would have been considered autistic if he lived today) would have been buried." ”
Autistic children may also make positive contributions to society, but the premise is to receive normal school education, and I hope that we will give them more tolerance and make their path to school smoother.
I'm @Gelma Goku
Mother of two boys, more than 10 years of parenting experience
Accompany children to read, English enlightenment, science enlightenment
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