How should children be educated when they make mistakes? All parents, if they can be like the father in the following story, I think the child will feel particularly warm.
People make mistakes, and children make even more mistakes. How should children be educated when they make mistakes? All parents, if they can be like the father in the following story, I think the child will feel particularly warm.
Once, 5-year-old Qiang Qiang was playing with leather balls at home, accidentally broke a teacup that his father liked, and felt that he had run into trouble, and he was about to cry.
At this time, the father did not immediately loudly reprimand and criticize the child, but said: "This matter is really sad to hear, I really like this cup, it is a pity!" ”
Dad's performance is actually to let the child know that there is a wrong consequence of doing this.
Then Dad said, "It doesn't matter, not hurting people is the most important thing, Dad took you with you to clean up the glass slag, you have to be careful." ”
Dad also told Qiang Qiang that he had also broken things when he was a child, and he felt particularly scared after breaking them, but what did we learn from this incident?
Qiang Qiang no longer timidly said, "Learn to be careful!" ”
"So what methods can be careful?" Dad asked.
Qiang Qiang thought for a moment and said, "I can go and play where there are no cups." ”
"Well, this is the living room, where a lot of things are placed, and some of them are easy to break after overturning, you know?" Dad took the opportunity to educate and guide.
"Well, okay, I'm not going to play ball in the house anymore, and if I want to play, I'll play in the yard." Qiang Qiang seemed to listen, and since then, Qiang Qiang has rarely broken things again.
Parents should turn every mistake their children make into an opportunity to learn, rather than turning every mistake into an opportunity to condemn.
As soon as some children make mistakes, parents jump out and say, how did you tell you in the first place, how many times you said it, you just don't have a long memory, look, you made a mistake again.
Such a rush to criticize is actually drawing a clear line with the child and is unwilling to share this result with the child.
Some parents think that they are right, I have taught, and I have stressed that it is not my responsibility to make mistakes now.
But in fact, all parents in the world should share with their children to bear the consequences of this mistake.
Because the child is yours, not someone else's, you are the guardian of the child, the child is also cultivated by you, you must be responsible for not cultivating well, and the parents who are eager to draw a clear line are manifestations of psychological immaturity.
Don't you draw a line and it doesn't matter to you that the child makes a mistake? In fact, such a parent is also a child who has not grown up, and perhaps he was scolded in this way since he was a child.
If the child breaks a cup and is scolded, then the child's emotions may change from fear to anger, and the parents will shift the responsibility to the child, let the child back, and make the child feel particularly guilty.
But the child did not learn anything from this mistake, and the only thing he learned was not to provoke his parents, and if he provoked it, he would be scolded.
When Qiang Qiang was three years old, this father taught him a word, called eating a long and wise.
Dad tells the child that the meaning of the word is that after doing something wrong, you must grow a skill.
Sometimes Qiang Qiang did something wrong at home, and he would say to himself, eat a long and wise.
All, sometimes at home, even if the child makes a mistake, it is a very beautiful interaction, and you will communicate with the child.
Later, when I went to elementary school, I came back from a strong exam and scored 74 points in math, and I was so excited that my father had never seen his grades so low.
Dad was not angry, but asked kindly, "Why is it that the grades are suddenly so low?" ”
Qiang Qiang said that there was a question on the back of this scroll, and I didn't even see it.
Dad said, "What have you learned from this exam?" ”
"We must look at the whole test paper first, so that we don't miss the questions." Qiang Qiang told his father that he had learned to eat a long and wise one.
Therefore, in the face of children who make mistakes, do not rush to criticize, let alone be fire-fighting parents.
The child is in bed, and you urge him to get up. If the child doesn't tidy up the room, you scold him for being lazy. If the child does not study seriously, you will keep a close eye on him to learn.
If the parent has been following the child's mistakes, then the parent is like a firefighter, where the fire is on fire, where to extinguish the fire.
Over time, you will find that not only are you physically and mentally exhausted, but the problems in your children will increase, and the fire will be everywhere.
Therefore, the child has made a mistake, do not follow the back of the ass to correct the nagging, and do not rush to criticize the child, everyone remember the following I said that the child made a mistake in the four steps, you do not have to put out the fire, and your child will be better and better.
The first step is to let the child speak out.
The child makes a mistake and asks the child what is going on? Not all children can have the opportunity to explain, sometimes parents may also wrongfully accuse their children, it is possible that children still have their own ideas, which depends on the wisdom and level of parents.
The second step, what do you want to do?
At this time, we must ask the child, you see that this matter is like this now, how are you going to deal with it? This is to exercise the child's thinking ability, let him face this problem on his own, and see what ideas and ideas he has.
The third step, need mom and dad help?
Parents ask such a question, in fact, let the child know in their hearts: even if I stab LouZi, as long as I actively face it and find a way to solve it, my parents will always be a strong backing, and will always support me behind.
Step 4, what do we learn through this mistake?
When this matter is resolved, we must have a good chat with the child, through this matter, what have we learned? At this time, education guidance will be very effective, and the child also loves to listen, just like the father mentioned above, teaching the child the principle of "eating a long and wise".
Wise parents should let their children know that life cannot be smooth, but every ditch and bump can make us grow, which is the right way to educate after making mistakes.
How is your child's mistakes educated and guided? Welcome to share with you in the comment area, remember to like and follow yo!
![When school started, a teacher's mother gave parents a 4-piece set of "saving your life", and the sentence is the truth![fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)