My husband and I have been married for 5 years, the relationship has been very good, never quarreled, this time because my father is sick, my husband wants to divorce me!
Dad's heart has not been very good, perennial medicine, half a month ago, Dad was sick again hospitalized, the doctor found that the use of drugs alone is not enough to maintain the stability of the condition, suggested that we do heart stents, but the cost of the costs add up to cost 100,000 yuan.
This money is not a small amount, my father called me, saying that my brother's family has just had a child, it is the time to use the money, want me to pay more medical expenses, I paid 70,000 yuan, my brother out of 30,000 yuan. Because this money is for my father to see a doctor, and my husband is usually obedient to me, I didn't think about it and directly agreed to it.
When I went home and talked about this with my husband, I didn't expect that since I got married, he had never said a serious word to me, and he actually threw a tantrum at me, and even said that he couldn't live on and wanted to divorce me!
I was directly confused, thinking that it was only 70,000 yuan, not to divorce, right?
The husband sighed and continued: "Wife, this 70,000 yuan, our family can afford to give, but when is this day a head, you said in good conscience, since getting married, how do I treat your parents?" But what did they do to us? I can raise you, but I really can't afford to raise your mother's family, if you insist on paying this money, you can also, wait for your father to be discharged, let's go to divorce! ”
02
My family is in the northwest countryside, the family has 7 or 8 acres of land, my father works as a janitor in the county factory, and his monthly salary is more than 2,000 yuan, and the overall economic conditions in our family are OK.
I have an older brother who only found a partner 2 years ago, and in order to marry him, the family bought a house and a car in the county town, and basically spent the family's savings.
My family built 2 houses in the countryside, and the warrants were written by my father and one by my brother. When I got married, my father said that the family was poor, did not pay a penny, and did not have any dowry, so my husband had always been suspicious of my brother's marriage, the family bought a house and a car, according to his words, my father never regarded my daughter as a family.
I confess that my family has some patriarchal preference. Every time they come home, my brother and sister-in-law almost never bring anything, and my parents will be very happy and give them a big table of good dishes. And my husband and I went home, my parents often picked and chose, not that this time I bought not enough, or that I didn't like things well enough, and I couldn't move to give me a look, so that my husband was also wronged. So, every time we come home, my husband and I have to start picking out gifts many days in advance!
03
I've always felt lucky to meet my husband. At the beginning, I came to Beijing alone, and every step was very difficult, squeezing through the basement, sending out small advertisements, and only eating one meal a day when it was most difficult.
Later, I met my husband, who was very upset with me. After getting married, he was always working outside, and I hardly ever went to work again. Although my husband doesn't make a lot of money, not even as much as my brother, my husband has never managed me in terms of spending money.
This time my husband opposed me to share my father's medical expenses, in fact, I can understand, we have been renting in Beijing, I have no job, the burden of the family is on my husband alone, until now we have not dared to have children, we are afraid that we can't afford it.
I'm really afraid of my husband divorcing me. But what can I do? Since I was a child, my parents have told me that my daughter who marries out should talk about conscience, and no matter what time she cannot forget her family, I am afraid that if I do not give this money, my parents will say that I am not filial piety!
04
Many people have encountered such confusion, after marriage, the wife is caught between the mother's family and their own small family, and the husband complains because the wife takes too much care of the mother's family.
Fan Shengmei in "Ode to Joy" is such a person, although she is not yet married, but because of the endless demands of her mother and brother, she almost collapsed, and even her beloved boyfriend left her!
The preference for sons over daughters in the original family will create the illusion of "you are not important" in the hearts of girls, so that girls lose their pursuit of self-worth. Everything in the original family, especially "making the brother or brother better off" will become the most important value pursuit in the hearts of such girls.
After marriage, smart girls will distinguish when to help their mother's family, when to take care of the small family, and will distinguish which help can help and which should not help. We are beyond reproach for our parents' filial piety, but we must not take everything in our own family to take care of our mother's family, because you are not only a daughter, but also a wife and a mother, and you shoulder not only the filial piety as a daughter, but also the responsibility as a wife and mother.
The influence of the original family should not become the shackles of a lifetime of happiness, no matter when, we must find the degree of taking care of the original family, do what we can, not impulsive, not blind, maintain rationality, good communication, so that the problem can be satisfactorily solved.
Three books that are worth reading over and over again for a lifetime
1 "38 Letters from Rockefeller to His Son"
2 "Kazuo Inamori's Advice to Young People"
3 "Buffett's Life Advice to His Children"
Bill Gates says there's only one name for the money-making influence he has in mind, and that's Rockefeller.
He was the world's first billionaire to emerge
His wealth is equivalent to 8 times that of Bill Gates today!!
In other words, if he lived to this day
His wealth will be 10% more than the world's top ten richest people combined.
This "38 Letters from Rockefeller to His Son" was recommended by Buffett, Li Ka-shing and countless other bigwigs, and Wang Jianlin bought it to make a 20-year-old birthday gift for his son.
A few of them are well worth remembering
1 The starting point affects the result, but the starting point does not determine the result.
2 I don't live by god-given luck, but I develop by planning luck.
3 A man can only rely on himself to not let himself down.
Finally, he said: "We strive not only to make money, but more importantly, to make us who we want to be
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Mr. Inamori and Mr. Fu lao single-handedly founded two Fortune 500 companies. He stressed that the purpose of life is to improve the heart, young people should love their work, go all out to live every day, and only those who have a strong desire for their goals can succeed
The book "Kazuo Inamori's Advice for young people's life" is mainly from three
On a case-by-case basis
1 life chapter
2 workplace articles
3 Business Management Chapter
Everyone is an apple that has been bitten by God, and if your suffering is always special, it is because God especially likes your fragrance. This classic quote is also from the book Oh ~
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Why can't someone who takes care of you marry, a father said to his daughter: Children, you must understand that the best spouse should be your ally on the battlefield of life, rather than finding someone to meet your laziness and giant baby, a man pours you a glass of water, buys you a barbecue in the middle of the night, this is not a scarce species, and women in reality often live for this low-cost payment.
In the book "Buffett's Daughter's Life Advice", it is said that the really scarce resources are the other party's conversation, knowledge, business vision, and the other party's ability to control and stable emotions, do not underestimate these characteristics, to cultivate these advantages, the cost is extremely high, can be encountered and can not be sought.
Maybe Buffett is really the one who spied on God's secrets
In this book, "Buffett's Life Advice to His Children," content and wisdom are the best assets left to their children.
If you are also a parent, then I recommend that you also read these three books. In these three books you can see yourself, see heaven and earth, and see sentient beings.
Then, while learning the wisdom of the top super rich, you can also practice the world's top parenting concepts. Whether it's the adult workplace or the home, it can come in handy.
This set includes Rockefeller, Kazuo Inamori, Buffett 3 celebrities to educate their children, and suggest the painstaking works of young people.
A collection of the top wisdom of mankind, are you sure you can't come to a set?