"I like bad girlfriends, I like the feeling of stimulation, you are too simple, superfluous of those gentleness." 」
This song "Bad Girlfriend" tells us that in the relationship, it seems that the kind of "bad woman" is more likely to make men linger.
Good women do not mean that they must not be favored by men, but that good women will make men feel that it is so simple when love is obtained in their feelings.
It doesn't take much time and cost, you don't need to try to please, even if you are angry, you can be forgiven by saying "sorry" lightly.
We all know that anything can only be cherished with effort, and things that are too cheap and easy to get will never be cared for and cherished.
Those "good women" don't get all the love of men, and it's because of this truth.
In gender relationships, the reason why "bad women" make men obsessed is because they meet their 3 "needs".
Being needed is the establishment of a man's sense of existence
Aristotle once discussed the relationship between man and society: "Man is a social animal. People can't live alone completely out of society, and you don't want to trouble others, so you need to take on a lot of things alone, including frustration. ”
That is to say, many relationships in this world are built by trouble, like borrowing a book.
You lend it out, I return it, and the feelings between each other are connected through the book as a carrier, and there will be no interruption.
In real life, there are many women who do not understand this truth, they think that it is better to be independent, not to trouble men, and to do everything by themselves.
In fact, when they choose to be independent, they are invisibly cutting off the relationship between themselves and men.
They refuse to trouble men, in fact, they are afraid of rejection, afraid of feelings of indebtedness, so they block their hearts and also prevent the warmth of men from transmitting in.
We envy long-lasting love, but a long-lasting and harmonious husband and wife relationship depends on the woman's worship of men.
And this worship must be based on trouble, because only when the wife can admire her husband from the bottom of her heart, such a marriage, such a husband and wife relationship can last.
When the "bad woman" meets the needs of the man who is needed, such feelings will last.
Being affirmed is a "need" that every man needs.
Qu Xiaoxiu in the TV series "Ode to Joy" is a deviant person, she does not like restraint, imagination, often think of a play is a play.
But when she manages love, she will never be struggling.
Qu Xiaoxiu has a high emotional intelligence, and she never skimps on her praise when getting along with her boyfriend, including at work.
If you don't do well, you must raise your dissatisfaction, and where you do well, you must affirm, and you must give encouragement and praise, so that the other party has motivation.
Although good medicine is good for the sick, and advice is good for the ear, it is fair to say that everyone cannot resist the attraction of a compliment.
Pavlov, a famous Russian physiologist, pointed out that positive psychological cues can quickly lead people into a state of optimism.
This state of optimism can lead to cognitive, emotional, and behavioral shifts that can make us calm, focused, and more aware.
Therefore, we can also do this when dealing with feelings, say more nice words, give men more praise, so that men can not be separated from us because of a sense of pleasure.
Being respected is an urgent need for human nature and men
All interactions have insurmountable final boundaries, even if it is a relationship between the sexes, if the sincerity loses its measure, it will become a disaster and become the fuse for the outbreak of contradictions.
The main reason why love sometimes goes from vigorous to flat, from knowing each other to looking at each other, is that they lose the psychological distance and sense of proportion that couples should have.
In the eyes of women, men who love themselves must tolerate themselves unconditionally, they must let themselves go everywhere, and they must put themselves in their own shoes.
But they forget that love requires two people to work together, love is a two-way rush, and what one person completes is never love.
True love must be inseparable from a sense of proportion, must be based on the basis of comparing hearts to hearts, seeking common ground while reserving differences, and on the basis of equal strength.
As the French writer Moluis said: "In a happy marriage, everyone should respect each other's tastes and hobbies." To think that two people can have the same thoughts, the same judgments, the same desires, the most absurd thoughts. ”
The "bad woman" understands that even the best feelings can become a mess if they lose their distance.
So they don't interfere too much in men's lives, and they don't control them too much, but give each other respect and freedom.
The best control is not to control, and sometimes, going with the flow of love can bring people different surprises.