The elderly are a common social problem. Many elderly people do not receive their return and care after working hard to raise their children. Their later years were filled with loneliness and helplessness. They long for the company and respect of their children, but often only face their children's indifference and rejection. Have you ever heard such a story?
Today, we are going to tell you about an 80-year-old man who, after raising three sons, found that his sons did not give him enough care and filial piety in his old age. How did he face this reality? From Uncle Zhang's self-statement, let's listen to Uncle Zhang's story.
Uncle Zhang, 80 years old this year. I have three sons, all of whom have started a family. My wife and I have been living in a neighborhood on the outskirts of Beijing, and I bought the house after I retired, thinking that it was not far from my sons, so they could come back to see us. My three sons were all brought up by myself, and they have been very sensible and good at learning since they were young.
I'm proud of them and give a lot for them. I am an engineer and work hard, but I never complain, I just want to give my sons a good living environment. My wife, a teacher and hardworking, not only takes care of the family, but also helps her sons with their homework.
We are both simple people, do not pursue luxurious material comforts, but only hope that our sons can grow up healthy and happy. All three of my sons got into college and got good jobs. The eldest son, Zhang Hua, is a doctor who works in a tertiary hospital. He married a nurse and had a daughter.
The second son, Zhang Jun, is a lawyer who works in a well-known law firm. He married an accountant and had a son. The third son, Zhang Peng, is a programmer who works for an Internet company. He married a designer and had a son.
My wife and I are very satisfied with the married life of our three sons, feel that they have found a suitable partner, and they all have children of their own. We also enjoyed our three grandchildren very much, visiting them often, buying them toys and clothes, and teaching them to read and write. We felt like happy grandparents with happy families.
But over time, we discovered that things weren't as rosy as we thought. We found that our relationship with our sons became increasingly distant. They hardly go home to see us anymore, even for the New Year holidays, they just make a phone call to say hello. Sometimes we went to them on our own initiative, but we only saw them for a few minutes and were sent away.
They always said they were busy and didn't have time to spend with us. Their wives are also very cold to us, and sometimes even say harsh things that make us feel very uncomfortable. Their children are not as close to us as before, and sometimes they don't even know us and call us old men and old ladies.
We were sad and didn't understand why our sons were like this. We thought that maybe they were too tired from work and didn't have the energy to take care of us. Maybe it's their wives who don't like us and affect their attitude toward us. Perhaps their children are influenced by the outside world and do not know how to respect their elders.
We thought, as long as they can live well, we don't care about that. We only hope that in our old age, we will have a son who can take care of us and accompany us. But when we made such requests to our sons, they all refused. They say they have their own lives and careers and cannot be sacrificed for us.
They said they had given us enough money and material things to arrange our own pension. They said they didn't want to live with us because it would affect their families and jobs. My wife and I listened to these words, and our hearts were broken. We couldn't believe it was our own son.
We don't understand why they are so ruthless and cold to us. We don't know what we've done wrong to make them so alienated and disgusted with us. My wife and I decided to solve the problem of old-age care on our own and no longer rely on our sons. We sold the house and moved to a nursing home.
The environment of the nursing home is good, there are doctors and caregivers to take care of us, and other elderly people accompany us. We feel better than at home, at least not lonely and helpless. But at this time, the sons suddenly showed concern and affection. They started calling us frequently to greet our bodies and lives.
They also came to visit us and brought some gifts and food. They said they missed us very much and regretted their previous indifference and rejection of us. They said they wanted to reconnect with us and make amends for their previous mistakes. They said they were willing to accept our pension request and let us move back home.
My wife and I listened to these words and did not feel happy or moved. On the contrary, we find it ridiculous and terrible. Because we know why sons suddenly change their attitudes. It turned out that the person in charge of the nursing home told them the news: my wife and I are both seriously ill and may not live long.
When the sons heard the news, they did not show any sadness or concern. Instead, they began to make up their minds: If my wife and I died, how would the money from selling the house be distributed? They began to compete for our inheritance, wanting more benefits. They no longer care about our feelings and wishes, only about our death and possessions.
They even wanted us to sign a will and leave all the money to them. My wife and I saw the true face of our sons and felt immense sadness and anger. We refused our sons' help and their requests. We say that we do not need their sympathy and hypocrisy and will not give them a penny.
We say that we don't think of them as our sons anymore, they are just a bunch of greedy and shameless people. We said we would rather give money to charity than let them succeed. When the sons heard these words, they were angry and annoyed. They say that we are unreasonable old people, they are for our good, they want to give us a stable and comfortable old age.
They said they had the right to inherit our property because it was what they deserved, and if we didn't listen to them, they would go to court and forcibly take our money. My wife and I listened to these words and did not fear or give in. On the contrary, we feel strong and confident.
Because we know that we have done nothing wrong, we are only defending our dignity and rights. We know that we have our own choices and decisions, and we will not be swayed or influenced by anyone. We know that we have our own lives and values, and we will not be despised or ignored by anyone.
At this moment, I suddenly remembered someone: my old friend Uncle Wang. Uncle Wang is my colleague and friend, as well as my neighbor. He also had three sons, but his sons were filial and respected him. After Uncle Wang retired, he lived a comfortable and happy life at home. He often eats and chats with his sons and takes his grandchildren on tours.
Uncle Wang said to me: You should enjoy your old age and don't let your sons cause you trouble. You have to learn to let go and let your sons go around the world on their own. You have to learn to be independent and let yourself have your own interests and hobbies. You have to learn to be happy and make yourself smile and happy.
I didn't listen to it at the time, and I felt that Uncle Wang was showing off how good his son was and how beautiful his life was. I also felt that he was urging me to give up my expectations and demands on my sons and let me face loneliness and helplessness on my own. I also felt like he was laughing at me for not being as lucky as he was and not as successful as he was. I also felt like he was teaching me that I wasn't as smart as he was, not as wise as he was.
But now, I understand the meaning and deep meaning of Uncle Wang's words. He is not showing off, not persuading me, not mocking, not lecturing. He was giving me a piece of advice, he was telling me a truth, an important truth. That is, children are not necessarily the dependence and hope of parents, and parents do not have to sacrifice and dedicate themselves to their children.
Everyone has their own life and pursuits, and everyone should respect and understand each other. Parents should give their children enough space and freedom to live their lives as they wish. Children should also give enough care and filial piety to their parents so that they can feel warm and happy. Only in this way can the harmony and happiness of the family be truly realized.
Epilogue:
That's my story. I want to tell you a truth through my story: children are not necessarily the dependence and hope of parents, and parents do not have to sacrifice and dedicate themselves to their children. Everyone has their own life and pursuits, and everyone should respect and understand each other. Parents should give their children enough space and freedom to live their lives as they wish. Children should also give enough care and filial piety to their parents so that they can feel warm and happy. Only in this way can the harmony and happiness of the family be truly realized.
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