The parents are still there, and the children are not far away
"Parents are here, don't travel far", this is a family motto in China since ancient times, which means that as long as the parents are still alive, the children can not go out to travel at will to find happiness, let alone give themselves a birthday in advance when the parents are still alive.
This stems from the Chinese nation's strong ethical concept of filial piety. Parents give life to their children and raise them, and children should repay their parents with filial piety. If the parents are still alive but the children are never around, it is unfilial piety to the parents.
What's more, the Chinese pay attention to "raising children to prevent old age", and the expectation of having children is that children can accompany them after they grow old and provide them with their old age. If the children are not only not with their parents, but hold a birthday banquet to celebrate their birthdays while their parents are still alive, it is simply "forcing the palace" to their parents, suggesting that they should abdicate and make way for the virtuous.
This approach is tantamount to a blow to the hearts of parents who are still working hard and living an active life, and it is easy for parents to think that "it's time to go on the road".
In fact, in the traditional Chinese concept, the longevity of children is regarded as a blessing transferred by parents. If the parents are still alive, the children will celebrate their birthdays without authorization, which is equivalent to cutting off the lifeblood of their parents to obtain good life, and accelerating the aging and death of their parents.
This can take a huge toll on both the physical and mental health of parents.
Therefore, when the parents are still alive, the children should never celebrate their birthdays without permission. This not only violates the ethics of filial piety, but also damages the feelings of two generations. It is true filial piety to learn to empathize and empathize with parents, communicate more, and let family relationships coexist in harmony.
Why can't you live before a child?
According to the provisions of the ancient "Zhou Li" in the mainland, people can only hold a grand birthday celebration when they are 60 years old. The reason why the age of 60 is determined as the starting point of life is mainly related to the "Ganzhi year".
Since ancient times, China has used the Ganzhi year, and the cycle is 60 years, which is exactly in line with a five-breeding cycle. A reincarnation of 60 years represents a new starting point in life and is worth celebrating. If you live before the age of 60, it is not only a violation of etiquette, but it is also easy to be regarded as a curse on your own lifespan, which will be punished by God.
According to traditional Chinese medicine, when a person reaches the age of 60, he or she is a child, and the body's internal organs and meridians circulate for a week, returning to the starting point, ready to start a new reincarnation. This is like renewing an insurance policy for life, and the sky gives new vitality, so the ancients respectfully called 60 years old "Huajia".
If you live without a child, it is like cutting off the hope of life, which is extremely detrimental to both body and mind.
In addition, 80 years old is the middle life, and 100 years old is the upper life. Every age hides a good wish for a long life, which is the unique charm of Chinese longevity culture. As early as the pre-Qin period, people used "white hair to sing the road, hanging canes on the road" to depict a hundred years of longevity, which shows that the age of 100 years is the highest expectation of the ancients for a better and happy life.
Chinese people have always advocated longevity and 100 years old, and if they hold a 100-year-old banquet without authorization before the age of 80, it is tantamount to a big joke. This is not only degrading to status, but also attracts criticism from others. Fortunately, the reputation of the Chinese nation as a country that advocates etiquette is spread far and wide, and the Chinese will treat each other with courtesy, repay virtue with virtue, and never do anything to embarrass their children.
Remember that "over nine is not more than ten"
The Chinese pay attention to "nine but not ten", which means that all birthday numbers related to "nine" can be celebrated, but when encountering integer multiples of "ten", they need to be cautious and avoid. This contains a subtle interpretation of the meaning of numbers in Chinese culture.
"Nine" has the same structure in Chinese characters, symbolizing the intersection of heaven and earth, implying the unity of heaven and man, which is very auspicious; And "nine" and "long" are homophonic, indicating a long life and longevity. Therefore, the Chinese regard "nine" as the most auspicious number, and whenever they encounter "nine", they celebrate and laugh all the time.
And "ten" is written as "壬" in ancient Chinese characters, symbolizing the extreme point of the opposite. In Chinese culture, there has always been a philosophical view that "if you are full, you will lose, and if you are extreme, you will decline", and if you pass the pole of "ten", it means that you have entered the track of decline.
Therefore, the whole multiple of ten birthdays should be especially careful.
For example, 70 and 80 are usually celebrated a year in advance, i.e. when they are 69 or 79 years old. In some places, it is also stipulated that ten guests cannot be invited, and ten dishes cannot be prepared to dispel the adverse effects of "ten".
Of course, China's traditional culture is broad and profound, and the cultural interpretation of "nine" and "ten" is not limited to homophonic meanings. "Ninety-nine Double Ninth Festival" and "Perfect" all contain good wishes. It is important for children to have a filial piety and make the birthday a grand festival to enhance family relationships.
The reason for the taboo of seventy-three eighty-four longevity
There is an old Chinese saying, "Seventy-three, eighty-four, the king of Hades does not call himself to go", which means that the two years of life at the age of 73 and 84 should be especially careful. In fact, this statement originates from the mainstream thought in China since the Han Dynasty - Confucian culture's reverence for the two great sages.
Confucius is the most famous thinker and educator in Chinese history, and is regarded as the first sage. Mencius, on the other hand, inherited and developed the great Confucianism of Confucius, and his status was second only to Confucius, so he was called "Yasheng". Confucius was seventy-three years old when he died, and Mencius was eighty-four years old when he died.
Since Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty established Confucianism, almost all rulers of all dynasties have admired Confucianism and ruled the country and the world with it. Reverence for the founders of Confucianism was thus formed. In order to show respect for the two saints, the birthdays of seventy-three and eighty-four became taboo.
Moreover, even the great sages of the present day could not really cross the two hurdles of 73 and 84 years old, so how could ordinary people celebrate these two birthdays without permission? Therefore, in order to prevent trouble, filial children will avoid these two numbers to celebrate their birthdays as a sign of respect for the saints.
The core of longevity is filial piety, and the form is variable
There is an ancient Chinese poem "Peach and plum do not speak, the bottom is its own", which means that the peach and plum tree does not have to shout, and when the fruit is ripe, it will naturally attract people to the trail to pick. The core of filial piety is the same for longevity, which does not need too many external forms, but the important thing is the love and respect for parents in the hearts of children.
According to traditional Chinese etiquette, children are not allowed to live without permission when their parents are alive, which reflects the filial piety family rule of "parents are here, do not travel far". However, with the development of the times, the pace of life is accelerating, and some ritual rules are also fine-tuning and changing, the key is to adhere to the original meaning of etiquette and inherit the core spirit of filial piety culture.
The connotation of longevity is that children try their best to pray for their parents to live a long life, and the external form can be simplified, but a filial piety cannot be missing. The original meaning of many traditional taboos also stems from the love and instructions of the older generation for the younger generation. The times are advancing, and these warmth are worth remembering.
When parents are still alive, celebrating a birthday early can lead to a misunderstanding that "it's time to go". As a child, you should care more about your parents' thoughts and cherish every moment with your parents. Participate in the birthday celebration with respect, so that this becomes a festival to enhance feelings and pray for blessings and birthdays.
The forms and rituals are adaptable to the times, but the core of family affection is always new.