#精品长文创作季#
Excessive parental control is a common problem in the three East Asian countries.
In recent years, the relationship between parents and children has become a hot topic, and some bloggers even use it as a gimmick to try to get higher traffic.
As early as the last century, there were many problems caused by parents' desire to control.
As a former champion of liberal arts in the college entrance examination, Dai Liu has taken the admission to Peking University as his life goal since he was in school, especially in the three years of high school, which can be described as "hanging on the head and thorning the stock".
As a normal parent, when I hear that my child is going to Peking University, I must be strongly supportive.
But Dai Liu's parents were different, when their daughter was waiting for the admission letter from Peking University.
He would never have thought that what he got was an admission notice from another school, and he didn't know who changed his choice.
When Dai Liu was full of doubts, he didn't expect the parents to bluntly say that they did it, and they didn't take their daughter's dream seriously at all. Her parents' backstabbing made her feel cold, and quarrels were inevitable.
And my father's sentence: "We can change your wishes if we want." It made him make a bold decision, that is, to study in South Korea.
As for why Dai Liu's parents secretly changed their daughter's college entrance examination intention, this has to start with his father's regrets.
1. Born in an intellectual family, Peking University is a lifelong obsession
Dai Liu's parents are both highly educated and have decent jobs, one is a teacher and the other is a journalist.
Although she is not very rich, her family conditions are definitely not bad, which also provides a sufficient material foundation for her later success.
As the only daughter in the family, Dai Liu's parents are almost devoted to their daughter, and basically will not refuse their daughter's request, which can be called to do their best.
And Dai Liu is also very competitive, he showed extraordinary intelligence and high understanding ability when he was a child, and he is simply a typical "little adult".
It is precisely in this way that Dai Liu's father seems to see hope in his daughter.
It turned out that he always had a dream of being a lawyer deep down in his heart, but he made a mistake in choosing his major when he was young and missed his dream career.
On the other hand, he believes that becoming a lawyer is a good career choice that will benefit his daughter.
But Dai Liu didn't know all this, only when his parents supported him, he worked harder in his studies.
In addition to studying, her parents also paid attention to their daughter's all-round development and did not raise her to be a "nerd".
Since the age of five or six, Dai Liu has been exposed to piano, calligraphy, etc., and has to go to the Children's Palace from time to time.
As a result, other interests were not cultivated, but the "literary bloodline" in his heart was dug out.
While others were still reading simple children's books, Dai Liu had already begun to read the four famous books, and he did not find them boring at all, but read them with relish and wrote some brief reviews.
This also planted the seeds of literature in her heart, which is an important reason why she chose Peking University as a voluntary school.
In high school, Dai Liu didn't dare to relax for a moment. The pressure of the college entrance examination in Hubei is not small, and if you are not careful, you may miss your dream school.
Therefore, the three years of high school are extremely tight, and the sleep time may only be six or seven hours a day, and the whole person is haggard, and it is not until the end of the college entrance examination that it is slightly better.
During the college entrance examination, Dai Liu, who was sitting in the examination room, calmed down, and his efficiency was the same as usual. Her good grades are partly due to her better-than-ordinary memory and excellent literary literacy, which allows her to have enough time to study other subjects, basically no shortcomings, and balanced development of all subjects.
After the college entrance examination results came out, as expected, Dai Liu's results were among the best, and he even became the top student in the college entrance examination in Huanggang, and there was no problem in applying to Peking University.
So after filling in the volunteer, she began to wait for the arrival of the admission letter every day, and she had to run to the door to take a look when she heard the slightest movement.
As a result, Dai Liu and others did not come to Peking University, but China University of Political Science and Law.
He looked through the admission letter over and over again, but he still didn't want to believe it, and he even came up with a "big show" in his mind, thinking that it was maliciously tampered with by others.
When she told her father the news, her father's bland words completely made Dai Liu "crazy".
Second, the parents are too controlling, and their daughter's dream of Peking University is shattered
When Dai Liu's mood was almost broken, his father suddenly said: "We changed your will." There was no guilt on her face, as if her daughter's own wishes did not matter.
When she learned the truth, she couldn't believe it at first, thinking that her father was joking.
can see the serious attitude of his parents, Dai Liu has to believe that his parents have become the people who "stabbed the knife" in the back.
She also realized why her parents were so cold when she first applied for volunteering.
It turned out that when filling in the volunteer, Dai Liu's parents were not satisfied with the school and major their daughter applied for, especially her father, and the tone of her conversation with her changed.
But Dai Liu didn't take it to heart, never expecting that his will would be modified.
Faced with his daughter's questioning, Dai Liu's father also said eloquently: "You are more suitable for China University of Political Science and Law, isn't it good to be a lawyer?"
In the face of her father's unreasonableness, she was speechless for a while, and she also understood that she had never seen herself as an independent person, but as a tool for him to fulfill his wishes.
From childhood to adulthood, Dai Liu basically did not disobey his parents, and was a "good child" praised by people around him. Even in adolescence, she is devoted to her studies, and a series of adolescent rebellious behaviors such as early love and fights have not appeared in her.
It is precisely because of this that Dai Liu's father will change his daughter's college entrance examination intention. Because he concluded that his daughter would not do anything, he could only knead it himself.
But what he didn't know was that his radical behavior almost completely ruined the father-daughter relationship.
Seeing that everything was settled, Dai Liu knew that he had no ability to confront his parents for the time being, so he could only accumulate strength and prepare for fleeing from his family.
Although she rarely communicated with her parents throughout the holidays. But at the beginning of the school year, he still came to China University of Political Science and Law to report.
Dai Liu's father thought that this was a sign of his daughter's submission, but the delicate mother felt her daughter's pain and even began to feel uneasy.
During college, she tried to repair her relationship with her daughter, but the results were very small, and the psychological distance could not be narrowed.
After entering university, Dai Liu did not have the idea of returning to his hometown to work in the future, but planned how to stay away from his parents as much as possible.
At first, she set her goal to be admitted to Peking University as a graduate student, and her university grades basically did not fall out of the top five, and she had various competition certificates, which provided a guarantee for her future studies and employment.
In the year of graduation, Dai Liu's father called and hoped that his daughter could go home to work, and did not want her to suffer outside the home. But this time, Dai Liu resolutely chose to refuse.
After seeing the news of the enrollment of a university in South Korea, she suddenly came up with the idea of fleeing abroad.
Although it was a flash, it still submitted the application.
Perhaps out of guilt for her daughter, Dai Liu's mother provided material support and did not disclose the information to her husband.
It wasn't until her daughter's admission letter was in hand that she told her husband the news.
Not surprisingly, his first reaction was against it. Faced with his father's annoyance, Dai Liu was extremely calm, walked out of the house directly, and resolutely got on the plane to South Korea.
But life in a foreign country is not easy, and Dai Liu once had the idea of retreating. But when she thought of the suffocating environment at home, she gritted her teeth and persevered, and graduated with honors.
3. He has lived in South Korea for decades and reconciled with his father in middle age
After coming to South Korea, Dai Liu's already limited telephone communication with her parents became even less, and she didn't necessarily have a phone call a month.
In the face of his daughter's "rebellious" behavior, Dai Liu's father would slander his daughter in the phone call and belittle her as worthless.
After a long time, Dai Liu decided to completely cut off contact with his family. I don't know when they didn't communicate with each other again.
As a student studying in a foreign country, he needs to face not only physical discomfort, but also psychological suffering, especially language problems.
Because Dai Liu knew that he had no way out, he could only force himself.
After graduating, she went to work for a financial company in South Korea, and her ability to work was needless to say, but she was still fired.
It wasn't until a colleague reminded him that he realized that it was because of the problem of "seniors' terms".
You must know that the culture of the older generations in Korea is not a joke, and the language is divided into honorifics and non-honorifics.
As a foreigner, Dai Liu did not notice this problem, which caused the dissatisfaction of the leaders, so he was "fired".
Fortunately, a trip to Jeju Island gave her the idea of opening a tea house, so she also went to get a tea master certificate.
Under the publicity of the Internet, Dai Liu's tea room has become an Internet celebrity check-in place, and the problem of survival has been solved.
As she grew older, she gradually understood what her father did and had the idea of reconciling with her family.
Eventually, with the mediation of his mother, he formally reached a reconciliation with his father, and would return to China from time to time to visit his parents.
But Dai Liu does not regret her choice to come to South Korea, if it were not for this "rebellious escape", she may never be able to grow into an adult in the true sense.
epilogue
In fact, the essential problem between Dai Liu and his parents is still related to the desire to control. One is unwilling to let go, the other longs for freedom, coupled with the lack of communication, the contradictions between the two sides continue to intensify, and finally fall apart.
But fortunately, Dai Liu's ending was good. You must know that some people with poor psychological endurance, in the face of high pressure from their parents, coupled with the lack of ability to escape, may choose extreme measures.
But looking back at her story, as the only daughter in the family, her parents are definitely unwilling to let their daughter stay away from her heart.
But they did not choose a gentle way to leave Dai Liu, but forced them by means of suppression, and the results can be imagined.
Today, Dai Liu, who lives on Jeju Island, not only has a tea room of his own, but also has a homestay with a lot of Hanfu clothes for guests to take pictures.
Under the publicity of the guests, her tea room and homestay are on fire, and she basically no longer needs to worry about material problems.
After having a family of his own, Dai Liu's mood was much calmer, and his resentment towards his parents basically disappeared.
Now she can have a long talk with her parents instead of endless arguments.