In "Love in the Time of Cholera", Márquez said: "The trivial troubles of everyday life are more difficult to avoid than the great disasters in marriage." ”
In marriage, husband and wife are often able to defend themselves against major disasters together, but they are unable to guard against the trivial things of ordinary life.
Managing a marriage is a daunting task that requires a lifelong effort.
Sweet love can be enjoyed in the middle of the moon before the flower, but marriage needs the care of firewood, rice, oil and salt.
Despite the hardships of marriage, there are still some people who are able to live happily ever after.
Most people's love is lost in marriage, but they are able to maintain harmony with each other and love each other.
Why do the same married life have completely different results?
This is because smart couples have the secret to running a long-lasting marriage.
Serve softly
In the Tao Te Ching, it is said: "Those who are good at fighting are not angry, those who are good at being soft do not argue, and those who are good at winning do not fight." ”
To achieve a happy marriage, you need to learn to be silent and patient, and to know how to pursue tranquility without fighting others.
Deeply understand the importance of contentment and happiness, so as to move towards a higher realm.
In life, no matter how good the relationship between husband and wife is, quarrels and contradictions are inevitable.
If both parties are unwilling to bow their heads and insist on their own words, they will eventually win the reason, but lose the feelings.
The best way to maintain a relationship is not to engage in verbal disputes, to be moderately soft, and to retreat into advance.
A couple began to play chess in their leisure time at home, and the husband gradually saw the dawn of victory.
But his wife was not willing to be defeated like this, so she played Laipi: "My horse can go to the field, because it is a thousand miles of horses." ”
When the husband heard this, he smiled dotingly and thought so.
The wife was even more unredone, and continued: "Soldiers can go backwards, just like special forces; And elephants can cross the river, after all, they are flying elephants. ”
The husband still laughed and did not want to dampen his wife's interest.
What made him even more unbelievable was that his wife had let her own taxi eliminate his general.
The wife also joked that it was an undercover agent she had specially sent.
In the end, there was no suspense, and the husband lost to his wife, who had been cheating.
The wife happily won the contest and went to prepare dinner with great pleasure.
In this way, the husband and wife tolerate each other, understand each other, and get along happily for a lifetime.
Their love story can be said to be a typical portrayal of tolerance and happiness.
Lao Tzu said: "The way of heaven is beneficial but not harmful; The way of the saint is indisputable. ”
People with a big heart don't dominate small things and fight for victory.
They are willing to compromise and retreat, not because they lack ability, but because they value each other's emotions more.
As the saying goes: "The fool only competes for the high, and the wise man advances by retreating." ”
Many couples are separated because one is unwilling to give in and the other is unwilling to give in.
Fighting for their own interests, although they win temporarily, they find that they hurt their feelings and lose more as a result.
Give in to each other and take turns bowing your head.
Learn to restrain your competitiveness and be gentle with your lover.
in order to maintain a good relationship and make the road of marriage smoother.
Play dumb
I read a very interesting analogy: "A happy marriage is made by a blind woman and a deaf man." ”
Although it is a joke, it makes sense when you think about it.
In marriage, if both people only talk about reasoning and rarely talk about feelings, the marriage will not last long.
And most of those who have made their marriages sound and good have learned to play stupid.
Playing dumb reasonably, not pandering, but respecting
A netizen shared an interesting marriage story between her parents.
Although her parents have been married for 25 years, they have always been very happy and envied by those around them.
Her mother likes to buy new clothes, but she always hides from her father and doesn't put them on right away.
She would cut out the tags of her new clothes and secretly put them in the closet for a while before taking them out to wear.
Occasionally, my father would ask, "Is this a new dress?" ”
The mother replied, "Why, I bought this a long time ago." ”
The father saw through it but didn't expose it, he just smiled and didn't care.
On weekends off, my father would find an excuse to go to the study to work, but in fact he would secretly play games behind closed doors.
Not only would the mother not say anything, but sometimes she would wash the fruit and send it in.
When she was a child, she never understood why her parents chose not to expose it even though they knew that the other party was lying.
It wasn't until she got married herself that she understood.
Married life is like a "prison" without walls, and there is no need to uncover everything.
Play silly appropriately, respect each other, and don't worry too much about small things, so that life will be interesting.
As Professor Zeng Shiqiang said: keep your eyes open before getting married, and keep one eye open and one eye closed after marriage.
So that everyone can live well, and it is not about cheating on yourself, but about respecting each other.
No one can be perfect, as long as you are picky, the other party must have flaws.
Pretending to be stupid in marriage is not hypocrisy and pandering to each other, but mutual respect.
awake
In marriage, many women mistakenly believe that the person who promised to love them forever can really do it, thus making the marriage happy.
However, we often find that the ideal is far from the reality.
When in love, he is the man who is dead set on you and loves you deeply.
And when he divorced, he became the most ruthless and ruthless man.
As the Tang Dynasty poetess Li Ye wrote in the poem "Eight Solstice": "From near to far east and west, deep to shallow clear stream." As high as the sun and the moon, from relatives to husband and wife. ”
This poem truly and helplessly describes the relationship between husband and wife, and also reflects a clear understanding of this relationship.
In fact, after getting married, the more rational and sober you are, the happier your marriage will be.
No matter how good the marriage started out, we must not underestimate humanity and not idealize the marriage too much, otherwise we will inevitably be hurt.
Couples who have been together for a long time can't escape the triviality of firewood, rice, oil and salt, and they can't avoid the wear and tear of feelings.
No matter how sweet the love between the two is, they must always maintain a clear understanding of the other half and marriage.
His wife, Xiaoting, is a working woman who has to deal with challenges and pressures at work every day.
Her husband, Xiaojie, is a busy entrepreneur who always works late into the night to develop his career.
As husband and wife, the two spend less and less time together, and communication gradually becomes simple and cold.
Before they knew it, they began to complain and blame each other, and they no longer had the sweetness and understanding they once had.
There are even times when they quarrel over small things, and the atmosphere becomes tense and cold.
At this time, Xiaojie suddenly walked into a coffee shop, and he saw an old man sipping coffee with a very quiet expression.
Curiosity drove Xiaojie to sit next to the old man and take the initiative to greet him.
The old man replied with a smile on his face, "Young man, you seem to have a lot on your mind. Any troubles? ”
Xiaojie said with emotion: "My marriage is getting worse and worse, and my wife and I are full of quarrels and dissatisfaction. I don't really know what to do anymore. ”
The old man looked at Xiao Jie affectionately and said softly: "Young man, marriage is a long journey, and it requires us to stay awake at all times.
People are often so caught up in trivial matters and stress that they forget why they came together in the first place.
And it is only through reflection and in-depth communication that we can find love for each other. ”
Xiao Jie nodded thoughtfully, he realized the wisdom behind the old man's words.
He decided to come home and be honest with his wife and re-examine each other's needs and expectations.
Back home, Xiaojie found his wife Xiaoting and sincerely expressed his inner feelings to her.
Xiaoting also spoke openly and honestly about her confusion and expectations.
The two finally understand that only through listening and tolerance can they truly understand each other's hearts.
From that day on, Xiaojie and Xiaoting decided to set aside a period of time every day to communicate.
Together, they set family plans and goals and are committed to working together to achieve them.
In the days that followed, they learned to support and care for each other, and no longer easily fell into pointless quarrels.
As the years go by, Xiaojie and Xiaoting's marriage becomes stronger, and they regain their faith in love by facing their problems clearly.
They understand that marriage requires continuous effort and communication, and that only by staying sober can they have a happy and healthy marriage.
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In "Fireside Night Talk", it is said: "If you pass by right, you will be detoured, and if you pass straight, you will be clumsy." ”
Husband and wife get along, and they also pay attention to a "degree".
The reason does not need to be too clear, the matter does not need to be too clear, there is a degree of advance and retreat, and peace with each other from far and near is the most sober way to live.
When husband and wife get along, comfort is the most important thing: people who treat each other sincerely should be cherished; Those who pretend to be around should stay away as soon as possible.
For the rest of your life, you must walk side by side with people who are comfortable with you.