Mr. Shao from Anhui comes from a rural family, and his parents are authentic farmers. They have three children, the eldest is a daughter, Mr. Shao is the second, and the third is also a son.
Mr. Shao's family was very difficult, and in order to escape his fate, he studied hard.
Hard work pays off, Mr. Shao's grades are very good, and he is a top student. In the college entrance examination that year, he won the top prize in science in the provincial college entrance examination and was successfully admitted to a key university.
After graduating with a bachelor's degree, he was admitted to a publicly-funded graduate school.
In 2009, after graduating from graduate school, Mr. Shao went to Hong Kong to engage in financial work, with a monthly salary of tens of thousands.
Mr. Shao knows that it is not easy for his parents to cultivate him, and he is also very filial to his parents, and will give his parents 10,000 yuan every month.
In 2016, Miss Zhang, who is also a top student, met Mr. Hao.
Miss Zhang is young and beautiful, with fair skin and beautiful appearance. In fact, she has many suitors, but she doesn't have a fancy for them. Among the many suitors, she chose Mr. Shao, who is also a top student.
Mr. Shao Wen wears a pair of glasses, has a slightly chubby figure, and is gentle and elegant.
After the two met, they confirmed their relationship, and they did live a very happy and harmonious relationship when they were in love.
In 2016, they got married. Miss Zhang considered that Mr. Shao's original family was very difficult, and she and her parents did not ask for a bride price, three golds, a wedding car and a wedding house, anyway, they did not ask for anything.
According to local customs, when the wedding is held, Mr. Shao's sister and younger brother will give Miss Zhang a meeting gift.
Mr. Shao told Miss Zhang that his sister was a housewife who had no job, and only his brother-in-law made money, and that their family was in great difficulty, so they should not ask for her meeting gift.
And his younger brother has to provide a car and repay the car loan every month, which is not easy for him. Mr. Shao also told Miss Zhang not to ask for a meeting gift from his younger brother.
Miss Zhang is a kind person, and considering the difficulties of her mother-in-law's family, she agreed not to give a meeting gift between her eldest sister and her younger brother-in-law. In this way, she had nothing and married into the Shao family.
After getting married, Mr. Shao and Miss Zhang established a warm little home in Shenzhen, and the relationship between the young couple became better and better. But with the arrival of one person, the relationship between the two couples is walking on thin ice.
Miss Zhang became pregnant shortly after her marriage, but due to physical reasons, she miscarried.
I also miscarried during my second pregnancy.
During her third pregnancy, she had a little threatened miscarriage. The doctor advised her to rest more and not to work too hard.
Mr. Cheng asked his mother to come to Shenzhen to take care of Miss Zhang.
Shenzhen's consumption level is very high, the young couple in Shenzhen has no house, no car, and the child is about to be born, and the child's education and medical expenses are a lot of expenses in the future.
The child has not yet been born, and Miss Zhang is already feeling the pressure and has found a part-time job to earn more money.
Miss Zhang found a tutor for high school children, and every day after work, she went home for dinner and then went to tutor, and it was already past 10 o'clock when she returned home after tutoring.
Although she is tired every day, she feels that her efforts are still worth it when she thinks of an extra income.
Before Mr. Shao got married, he gave his mother 10,000 yuan a month, and 120,000 yuan a year.
But since he got married, the salary card has been kept by Miss Zhang. Miss Zhang wanted to save more money to buy a house and raise children, so she didn't give money to her in-laws.
Mr. Shao's mother had an opinion and felt that her son had forgotten his mother when he got married.
And she has raised three children, who have suffered for most of her life, and now she is old and can't make money, so she must make more money from the children to support her elderly.
So, she began to behave as a demon, and tried all kinds of ways to ask Miss Zhang for money.
A few days after her mother-in-law came, she said to her son Mr. Shao, when you were studying, you borrowed 8,000 yuan from your sister, and you haven't paid it back yet, you ask your wife to give me 8,000 yuan, and I will return it to your sister when the time comes.
Mr. Shao conveyed his mother's words to Miss Zhang word for word, and Miss Zhang was not happy after hearing it. Because Miss Zhang and Mr. Shao's salaries are not high, they have to buy a house to raise their children. She went to work part-time to save more money and give her children a stable home.
But after the mother-in-law came, she always tried her best to get money from them, and she was very uncomfortable.
Mother-in-law scolded her, you volunteered to do part-time work, and no one forced you, whether you do part-time or not has nothing to do with me, you don't have the ability to make more money, it's your business, but your husband borrowed his sister's money when he was studying, and he has to pay it back.
Mr. Shao told Miss Zhang to stop arguing and pay 8,000 yuan to his mother, anyway, they didn't lack the 8,000 yuan.
Miss Zhang and Mr. Shao had nothing in Shenzhen, and she was very anxious and unwilling to pay for it.
Mr. Shao also scolded Miss Zhang, exactly like his mother's words. said that they were not so poor that they couldn't even pay 8,000 yuan, and that she was pregnant to do a part-time job, which was her own volition, and no one forced her, she could not do it. Since she chooses to do it herself, then don't complain.
Miss Zhang didn't want to quarrel with her mother-in-law and husband, so she chose to surrender and gave 8,000 yuan to her mother-in-law, thinking that her mother-in-law should not ask for money again in the future.
But it didn't take long for the mother-in-law to speak again.
When Mr. Shao's sister got married, his mother asked for a bride price of 20,000 yuan. His mother told Miss Zhang that the 20,000 yuan bride price was for him to pay for his tuition. After he worked, he paid back 10,000 yuan to his sister, and there was still 10,000 yuan missing.
Mr. Shao's sister was very generous, considering that they also had difficulties, she gave him a discount, saying that they didn't need to pay back 10,000, and it would be okay to pay back 8,000.
During the years when Mr. Shao worked in Hong Kong, he gave his mother-in-law 10,000 yuan a month. The mother-in-law didn't use the money to pay Mr. Shao's tuition, but she had to wait until he got married to say that she wanted to pay the tuition.
Ms. Zhang felt that she was being calculated by her mother-in-law and her husband. Mr. Shao has worked in Hong Kong for 8 years, giving his mother 10,000 yuan a month, 120,000 yuan a year, and nearly 1 million yuan for 8 years.
An old lady has so much savings in her hand, why doesn't she pay back her son's previous tuition fees, and wait until she gets married to ask Miss Zhang to get it?
Miss Zhang knew that her mother-in-law just wanted to make some money, but she resolutely refused to give it. She didn't want to tear her mother-in-law's face, she didn't tell her mother-in-law's conspiracy, she only said that his sister had been married for more than ten years, and the children were in the third grade, and her sister should not lack 8,000 yuan.
And when they were short of money, Miss Zhang hoped that her mother-in-law and eldest sister would be considerate of her, and wait for her to pay back the money when she had loose money.
In fact, Miss Zhang suspected that there was no such thing as the 8,000 yuan, so she refused to give money.
But his mother-in-law always plotted for Mr. Shao, nagging in his ear every day, and successfully brainwashed him.
In the end, Mr. Shao listened to his mother's words and clearly asked Miss Zhang to return 8,000 yuan to his sister immediately.
Miss Zhang was forced to have no choice, gritted her teeth, and took out another 8,000 yuan.
Not long after this incident, my mother-in-law intensified her desire to make her money.
One day, Miss Zhang's father-in-law injured his hand and couldn't work. Mr. Shao offered to ask his father to stop working and rest for a while.
Mr. Shao told Ms. Zhang that his brother's child had already been born, and it would cost a lot of money to raise a child and pay off the car loan. And their children are still in the womb, there is no need to raise children for the time being, they are more relaxed, and their father's living expenses are all paid by them.
Miss Cheung is kind-hearted and thinks that it is natural to support her parents, so she agrees to support her father-in-law. She felt that the old man in the countryside couldn't spend much on a month's living expenses, so she only agreed to give her father-in-law 800 yuan a month for living expenses.
Miss Zhang's mother-in-law jumped up when she heard this, she thought that 800 yuan was too little, and asked Miss Zhang to give her father-in-law 1,500 yuan every month.
Ms. Zhang felt that her father-in-law was only injured in one hand, not in both hands. In the countryside, you can grow some vegetables, you don't need to buy vegetables, you can buy some meat, and only one person eats, and it doesn't cost so much money at all.
The mother-in-law analyzed it to Miss Zhang, the 1,500 yuan was calculated in this way, although the father-in-law lived in the countryside, the quality of life could not be reduced.
He has to make soup at least twice a week, have fruit every day, and drink 8+1 every day, have meat for a meal, and play cards with fox friends and dogs for entertainment, which adds up to about 1,500 yuan.
Miss Zhang's child is about to be born, and she has a big belly every day and has to work part-time so that their small family can live a better life.
But her mother-in-law always wants to make money on her, and it doesn't matter if she supports her father-in-law, but drinking 8+1 and playing cards, these money should not be included in the living expenses.
Mr. Shao also agreed with Miss Zhang's statement at first, but his mother was not happy and scolded him, saying that after he got married, he only listened to his wife, and she was his own mother. I don't listen to my mother's words, white-eyed wolf.
Mr. Shao was very afraid that his parents would say that he was not filial, and it was really not easy for his parents to raise him, and then he stood on his mother's side and asked Miss Zhang to give his father 1,500 yuan every month.
They all have meat, vegetables, and fruits in Shenzhen, and although his father is in the countryside, he also has to live this high-quality life. So after all, 1,500 yuan is really not a lot of money, and his father is dozens of years old, so it should be time to enjoy Qingfu.
Mr. Shao thinks that Miss Zhang is still young, it doesn't matter if she is tired, it doesn't matter if she works more than 10 hours a day with a big belly, and the most important thing is that his parents just eat, drink and dress well.
Listening to Mr. Shao's words, Miss Zhang's heart was cold. This time, she didn't give in and only gave her father-in-law 800 yuan a month for living expenses.
Miss Zhang's mother-in-law scolded her, showed her face every day, and after she gave birth to a child and was out of confinement, she immediately returned to her hometown to live a happy life with her wife.
After her mother-in-law left, Miss Zhang was alone with the children. Although tired, the mother-in-law is gone, the house is a lot quieter, and there are not so many trivial things, but they are doing well, and the relationship between the two husbands and wives is restored as before.
Time flies, and Miss Zhang's maternity leave is coming to an end, and she discusses with her husband who will take care of the children.
In fact, on the issue of taking care of the child, Mr. Shao's mother had already made a plan and had already discussed with Mr. Shao in advance to let his mother-in-law take care of the child.
Mr. Shao's brother's child is two and a half years old and needs to be taken by someone, his father went to take care of the child for his younger brother, and Miss Zhang hopes that her mother-in-law will come to Shenzhen to bring her grandson.
Mr. Shao remembered his mother's previous words and disagreed with his mother to take the child, saying that his mother was not in good health, and their son was only a few months old, which was the most difficult time to take up, and would exhaust his mother.
Miss Zhang personally called her mother-in-law and asked her if she would come to Shenzhen to bring her grandson? Her mother-in-law was hesitant and didn't have a clear attitude.
If the mother-in-law does not come to take her grandson, Miss Zhang's maternity leave is about to end. If there is no one to take care of the children, if she is asked to resign and take care of the children, their family conditions will not allow it.
At this time, Mr. Shao gave a good suggestion, he asked his mother-in-law to come and bring his grandson.
Miss Zhang's grandmother is in her 90s, and her mother has to serve her grandmother and can't leave. Ms. Cheung did not agree to let her mother come and bring her grandson.
Miss Zhang was about to go to work, and her mother-in-law didn't want to come, so she quarreled with Mr. Shao. She scolded his mother for having nothing to do in her hometown, and her grandson belonged to theirs, and it was natural for her grandmother to take her grandson.
Mr. Shao was not allowed to be scolded by others for his parents, and he also scolded Miss Zhang and her mother, scolding her mother for being selfish and preferring to serve her old mother rather than come to Shenzhen to serve her grandson.
After listening to the remarks of this high-achieving husband, Miss Zhang sneered angrily. Her mother had to serve her grandmother, and she couldn't take her grandchildren away, but her mother-in-law had nothing to do in the countryside and didn't take her grandchildren.
Mr. Shao was afraid that his mother would be tired and would not let his mother take her grandson, and his mother-in-law would be different. He felt that his mother-in-law was not afraid of being tired, and his mother-in-law was used to serving others anyway.
It is much better for a mother-in-law to come and serve her grandson than to serve an old lady, and it is easy. Asking her to come to Shenzhen to take her grandson is equivalent to asking her to come over for a vacation. I can't live so easily, my mother-in-law is so selfish.
Miss Zhang finally saw the selfish Mr. Shao clearly, tired and dirty work, he didn't want to use his mother, he just wanted to use his mother-in-law.
In the end, it was still not decided who would take care of the children, and Miss Zhang and Mr. Shao continued to argue. Mr. Shao sent a WeChat message to his mother, scolding his mother-in-law for being selfish and not taking care of her grandson, but taking care of the old woman.
Hehe! His mother does not bring grandchildren, he does not scold his mother for being selfish, but scolds his mother-in-law for being selfish, this is the remark of a high-achieving student.
Where can Miss Zhang stand her mother's mother, she also scolds her mother-in-law, scolds her mother-in-law for being ignorant, always interfering in the affairs of their little couple, and is strong, she has the final say in the affairs of the family, and always tries to make money from them.
Mr. Shao did not allow Miss Zhang to scold his mother, so he immediately called his mother who was far away from home, saying that Miss Zhang scolded her for being ignorant and aggressive, and asked her to take Miss Zhang to court.
Seeing her husband's childish behavior, Miss Zhang regretted it. She chose Mr. Shao because she saw that he was a scholar and that his IQ and EQ should be very high, but she didn't expect him to be a mother's boy.
As long as his mother-in-law is there, Mr. Shao doesn't have to think about things, his mother-in-law told him to go east, but he would never dare to go west.
Miss Zhang couldn't bear it anymore and wanted to take the child away.
Mr. Shao didn't know what to do, so he hurriedly called his mother and asked her to give a good suggestion.
After Ms. Zhang married Mr. Shao, she took charge of Mr. Shao's salary card. Mr. Shao hadn't given money to his mother for a long time, and his mother had an opinion in her heart. Since Miss Zhang is going to separate, it is just time for him to ask for his salary card back.
Mr. Shao's mother also felt that this Miss Zhang was arrogant in charge of her son's salary card, as long as her son got the salary card back, she would definitely compromise if she had no money in her hands.
So, Mr. Shao listened to his mother's words and asked for his salary card back.
Miss Zhang moved out with the child for three months, and during those three months, Mr. Shao did not go to see the child, did not pay a penny of child support, and did not call to ask Miss Zhang if she had any money?
Ms. Zhang is very financially savvy, and every time she pays her salary, she will save part of it for a fixed period and use the rest for consumption.
She relied on her own salary to support her children, rent a house, and save a part of her regular term, so she lived a tight life.
Mr. Shao knew that she had a fixed deposit and should not have much money in hand, but he didn't have a phone call, and he didn't give child support.
There is basically no difference between such a man and not. With such a person, she has had enough, and proposed to go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to renew her certificate.
At this time, Mr. Shao knew that he was afraid, because he didn't pay a penny of the bride price for his marriage to Miss Zhang, and he didn't give three golds, if they changed their certificates. He will definitely remarry in the future, and if he remarries, he will not necessarily meet a woman who does not want a bride price.
Nowadays, marriage requires hundreds of thousands of dowries, as well as a wedding car. If he remarries, he may lose half of his parents' lives.
Miss Zhang had to go to work and take care of her children, and after only a few months, she was more than 10 years old, with thin yellow skin and loose skin.
And Mr. Shao doesn't have to take care of the children, he doesn't have to bear child support, and his life is relaxed and chic, with a red face and fat head and big ears.
Ms. Zhang wanted to apply for a replacement certificate, but Mr. Shao had not yet realized his mistake. He felt that the relationship between the two couples had broken down, and it was not caused by his mother.
He also didn't admit that he was a mom boy, saying that the real mom was Miss Zhang. Whenever something happens, Miss Zhang will call to ask her mother for advice.
But Miss Zhang only consulted her mother's opinion, and did not do 100% according to her mother's wishes. Mr. Shao thinks that as long as she calls her mother for consultation, she is a mother.
He hoped that Miss Zhang would be aware of his problem, and he didn't understand why Miss Zhang had such a big opinion of his mother.
Miss Zhang's mother-in-law asked her son to take back her salary card, just to control Miss Zhang financially and let her stop being so arrogant to me. I didn't expect her to have such a tough attitude, willing to separate, and not bow to them.
She also didn't want them to part ways, after all, it was really not easy to marry a daughter-in-law now. She lowered her head the whole time and didn't say a word, not knowing whether she was repenting or afraid that Miss Zhang would show her various ugly faces.
Miss Zhang's mother-in-law didn't realize her mistake and instead played the emotional card. said that it was not easy for her to raise three children, and when the children were older, it would be their turn to enjoy Qingfu, so she wanted to make more money and wait for the elderly.
In order for her son to have a complete home, she pretended to say that she realized her mistake and would change it, and she would never make their money again.
Mr. Shao, who saw the child three months later, blamed Ms. Zhang for being selfish and depriving him of his right to be a father. The child is so young, he doesn't want to part ways with Miss Zhang, and hopes that Miss Zhang will give him a chance, and he will correct it.
Since Ms. Zhang was still breastfeeding, the law did not allow them to renew their certificates. Considering the young children, she decided to give Mr. Shao another chance, and the two reconciled.
After reading this story, I wrote a few thoughts of my own.
1. If both parties or one party are strong, their children's marriages will often not be happy. The combination of Mr. Shao and Ms. Zhang is a good example.
Second, in fact, there is nothing wrong with listening to your parents' opinions, but don't listen to your parents completely, you should analyze it a little, and you can listen to what your parents think is right, and don't listen to what is wrong. An adult who always talks about his mother will never grow up and will not have a happy married life.
3. People with high education do not mean high EQ and high IQ. If you choose a boyfriend, you not only have to look at your academic qualifications, but also your emotional intelligence. Find a person with high emotional intelligence to have a happy married life.
This story comes from the column content of Jiangxi Satellite TV's "Gold Medal Mediation", if there is infringement, please contact to delete.