A family is made up of people, and every move of that person will affect the rise and fall of the family.
Father and son are filial, have a fine atmosphere, and the family is naturally harmonious and happy; Parent-child grudges, husband and wife fight, make a mess, and the family is naturally on the verge of collapse.
99% of the problems in life are related to "people". From a large collective to a small family, isn't the direction of its development "artificial"?
The so-called "the house of goodness has more than celebration, and the house of bad things must have aftermath" is like this. Whether good or bad is not a problem of God, but a problem of man himself.
The appearance of these 4 types of people in the family may take away the "energy" of the family, so be more careful.
The first category: relatives who always love to compare and blame.
As a child, your parents always compare you with other people's children, and finally come to the conclusion that you are not as good as other people's children. As a result, your parents will accuse you of being incompetent.
As a husband/wife, your partner always compares you to someone else's partner and concludes that you are not as good as someone else's partner. As a result, your partner will dislike you and think you are incompetent.
As a daughter-in-law, your in-laws always compare you with other people's daughters-in-law, and finally come to the conclusion that you are not as good as other people's daughters-in-law. As a result, your in-laws will embarrass you and make your life difficult.
It's all a family, but why do they always like to compare the people around them with outsiders? There is only one purpose, to vent one's emotions and dissatisfaction.
If a loved one doesn't like you, he will take the opportunity to compare you with others. Essentially, it is to use other people's advantages to suppress you.
Getting along with such relatives will basically cause fierce conflicts. As the conflict expands, family relationships will gradually collapse, and eventually form a plate of scattered sand with no cohesion.
The second category: relatives who are far away and smelly, and who are experts in infighting.
In a humane society, countless people have the psychological problem of "far fragrant and smelly". The so-called distant fragrance and near smell is to think that outsiders are good people, and their own people are bad people.
In front of you, there is a lamb chop steak and you often eat it, then you think that the mutton steak steak is not delicious; In the distance, there is Chinese cabbage, and since you have not eaten Chinese cabbage, then you think that Chinese cabbage is delicious.
From an objective point of view, lamb chops steak is definitely better than Chinese cabbage. But why do people think that Chinese cabbage, which has not been touched in the distance, is delicious?
In their opinion, what they have at the moment is bad, and what they can't get is the best. In a Cantonese proverb, it is "the tea and rice next door".
If the psychology of "far fragrant and smelly" intensifies, it will lead to a problem, and there will be infighting in the family. You will find that many people are "insiders and outsiders".
The reason why they choose infighting and cause internal friction in the family is because they are not satisfied with what they get at the moment. In this way, isn't it just infighting and consuming the strength of the family in vain?
The third category: the elders who rely on the old and sell the old, and are selfish.
Someone once put forward a point of view: "If the elders are virtuous, the children and grandchildren are better; The elders are not virtuous, and the family suffers. ”
"Virtue" is such a thing as not everyone possesses. Especially in today's era of moral decay and the supremacy of money, virtue has become something that everyone spurns.
Some people are selfish and don't care about the lives and deaths of those around them; Some people go off the rails and gamble on the future of their families; Some people overdraw the good fortune of their children and grandchildren and dig holes for future generations......
This is all a "lack of morality" behavior. If it is an outsider's lack of morality, it will greatly affect the outsider's family, but it will not affect us. But if the elders and the elderly in the family lack morality, then their whole family will be unlucky.
Just imagine, the elders rely on the old and sell the old, and use the seniority to coerce the younger generations, not only selfish, but also have the psychology of "after their death, who cares about the flood", then the future generations will not be tragic?
For the children and grandchildren of the family, what they are most afraid of is not the difficulties of life, but the fact that the predecessors dug the pits and pitted the descendants. After all, it will take several generations to fill the hole for the mistakes of one generation.
The fourth category: the foolish eggs who lure the wolf into the house and are consumed by the desire for profit.
After the parents are gone, it is definitely the most "chaotic" time for the family. Because none of the brothers and sisters below obey anyone, and at least they quarrel with each other, and at worst they die for money, which is better than enemies.
Here's an example. The family has 3 siblings, the eldest brother, the second brother and the third sister, all of whom want to share their parents' inheritance. For this reason, they will fight openly and secretly, completely forgetting the affection of their loved ones.
If these three are married, then they will "work against each other" with other siblings at the instigation and instigation of the other half. Slowly, there is a three-way struggle in a family.
Originally, the family conflict was only related to these three people. But because they are confused, let the other half or other outsiders also get involved, and the contradiction becomes complicated.
For ordinary families, the most harmful thing is not a simple fight in the nest, but in addition to the fight in the nest, there are also family members who lead wolves into the house, causing serious antagonism, I believe that this family is not far from bad luck.
No matter how strong a fortress is, it is breached from within. No matter how rich a family is, it can't withstand internal friction and toss. It can be seen that only a harmonious relationship between relatives and maintaining one heart is the long-term way. Otherwise, they will all decay.