If you have something to say, you can do something well, and you can promote the marriage of your children, and that's right.
As parents, everyone wants their children to live well, but the specific approach is often different from the idea, or even the opposite.
When the children are ready to enter the marriage, you and I will go to the door as prospective in-laws, and we must not do bad things with good intentions.
The "first cause effect" tells us that the impression left by people in their first interaction is formed and dominant in the minds of the other person, affecting the subsequent long-term relationship.
Leave a good impression on the other party that the marriage of children is easy to negotiate.
There is a saying: If the four people don't go, the marriage will be smooth.
It can be seen that the meeting of prospective in-laws is not more than "more people", but than the pattern and etiquette.
01
First, relatives who are easily angry avoid quarrels.
Get angry at every turn, want to quarrel, such relatives, after drinking, the situation is even worse.
When the prospective family is together, it is necessary to communicate well about good days and auspicious days, customs, bride price and other issues. If someone speaks with anger, it is not called communication, but it becomes a quarrel.
Everyone has their own ideas, and thinks that they think about the problems most thoughtfully. Therefore, there must be a situation where the three views do not coincide.
If an angry person speaks, he has to force others to agree with him. This is barbaric and undesirable.
is that among the two people, there is one person who is easy to get angry, and he has to explain repeatedly on the way to the door, and he must be restrained.
During the Eastern Jin Dynasty, Mrs. Xi's daughter wanted to find a partner, and Mrs. Xi personally went to the house of the minister Wang Dao, and quietly observed the young man of Wang Dao's family.
When Mrs. Xi saw a young man lying on the bed at random, not only was he not angry, but he also said, "Okay, just choose him." ”
This "he" is Wang Xizhi.
It's not so much that Mrs. Xi has a discerning eye, but rather that he has been thinking calmly.
Without anger, there is harmony, and blessings can always be created.
02
Second, mischievous children to avoid causing trouble.
It is not surprising to take the existing grandchildren and go to the home of the prospective in-laws. But children like to mistreat too much, which will reflect a kind of "bad tutoring".
Especially those who settle in the city will definitely frown when they encounter a mischievous child.
The sofa, bed, toys, etc., are all destroyed, not to mention the loss of money, but also lead to the owner's heart, very unhappy.
Talking about marriage, how to say it, it is also a formal occasion, don't because of the miasma of the scene, resulting in very little time to talk about business, or too much energy to take care of the children, you can't hear each other's words clearly, and the information is blocked.
03
Third, relatives who are very greedy for money should avoid asking for bride price.
One of my classmates, when I was in college, met a girl from Jiangxi.
When a classmate talked about his relationship with his family, he was immediately opposed. Parents believe that the bride price in Jiangxi is too high, and marriage is a problem.
In fact, the girl's parents are reasonable and don't have too many requirements for the bride price.
Fate was lost like this. Money can really become a hurdle in the face of feelings.
Greedy people, do not go to meet with the prospective in-laws, because no amount of bride price given by the other party will not be satisfactory, especially not to satisfy a person's vanity.
Because of the issue of bride price, it is very possible for the families of both men and women to fight with each other and not give in to each other.
But we will also find that in a family, there are people who are good at talking and some people who are not good at talking. People who are good at talking are less demanding about the bride price.
Nowadays, many families are only children. The bride price is a gift money, and it is a sense of ritual at the wedding. In the future, the cost of supporting the parents of the children is more important than the bride price.
Instead of talking about the amount of bride price, it is better to talk about the filial piety of the family. Looking at the parents of both sides and how to provide for the elderly, this is more practical and easier to negotiate.
04
Fourth, relatives who have a hard life and are blessed with little happiness to avoid triggering negative energy.
Let's think about it, what will happen if we take "Xianglin's sister-in-law" to the door?
Lu Xun described it like this: "When she met people, she talked about her son's death and her own tragic experience, and the villagers at first said that they came to listen to the tragic story of Xianglin's sister-in-law, and gradually they were disgusted by the villagers. ”
Marriage is a good thing, if a person with a poor life participates in the arrangement of marriage, bad luck will come.
She was divorced, and she said, "It's a big deal, what are you afraid of?" ”
She encountered domestic violence, and she came as soon as she spoke: "If he picks up his fist, you will divorce." ”
After she got married, she found that the man was very poor and betrayed the family, so she scolded: "There is no good man in the world." ”
A good thing, in the mouth of others, becomes a "bad thing in the future". From the very beginning of the marriage, it was uncomfortable and sad.
It's right to go to meet your prospective in-laws with positive energy and set off towards the sunshine together.
05
On the platform of "Shijiazhuang Law Popularization", I saw an intriguing news: "A woman went on a blind date with 23 relatives, ate 20,000 yuan for one meal, and the man escaped the order."
Liu, a 29-year-old man from Zhejiang, participated in a blind date activity under the arrangement of an acquaintance and met Xiao Zhang.
According to common sense, when two young people meet, they are looking for a small place, chatting, and eating. Slowly get acquainted.
But Xiao Zhang brought a large group of relatives and asked for a few boxes. Consumption also exceeded expectations.
Faced with the "confusing" blind date, the man left immediately after dinner.
Although legally, the act of evading orders was analyzed, and Liu and Zhang assumed responsibility afterwards and reached a settlement, it was impossible for the blind date to be successful.
When the prospective in-laws meet for the first time, don't learn from Xiao Zhang. There are more people, the situation is chaotic, and there is more consumption, which is not conducive to the arrangement of marriage events. A few people participate in the first meeting of the prospective in-laws, and the people are closer and the communication is smoother.
Parents should also pay attention not to shout around before their children have confirmed the wedding feast, so as to avoid some ill-intentioned people who secretly cause evil. In marriage, there must be no "moths".
As parents, don't become a hurdle in your children's marriage, but a push.
The young couple who were held up by their parents are becoming more and more prosperous in their small days.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.