Bridan, a university professor, has a small donkey and is fed daily with a pile of hay.
Some local farmers, who love the professor, send a pile of forage to the donkeys every day.
Now, the donkey has two piles of hay a day.
It stands to reason that donkeys will eat better and be happier. But the fact is the opposite, the donkey looks at the grass on the left, and then looks at the grass on the right, both are very good, I don't know which pile to eat first.
After hesitating for a few days, the donkey fainted with hunger.
This is the "donkey effect" - a life that doesn't know how to choose will be a mess after all.
When we are over 70 years old, we are faced with the confusion of birth, old age, sickness and death, and how to live a decent life, we must learn what kind of way to live and how to arrange the things in our hands.
The more things you have, just like the more forage in front of you, the right choice, the preparation for leaving is in place, and the rest of your life can truly live towards death.
01
Waiting for your children to arrange everything will hurt you and your family.
In the thinking of many old people, they still stubbornly believe that "more children are more blessed". Anyway, when you are old, your children will arrange it, so don't worry.
Uncle Zhang, who is in the same village, has four children, two daughters and two sons.
Uncle Zhang and his wife have lived in the countryside all their lives, and farming is the source of income in their later years.
In order to bring up his children, Uncle Zhang spent all his money.
Uncle Zhang was seventy years old and not in good health, but he did not reach out to his children to ask for money. He believes that if he survives one day at a time, and if he can't stand it, his children will naturally find a way.
The children turned a blind eye to Uncle Zhang's situation. For the rest of Uncle Zhang's life, his wife was taking care of him, and he also used up all the money in the family.
After Uncle Zhang passed away, this wife was sad.
None of the children wanted to be taken into their own homes. The daughter believes that she has never received her parents' property, and according to rural customs, she has to take care of her mother's family; The two sons think that it is unrealistic for them to work in other places and take their old mother with them.
The children couldn't come up with a good solution, so they dispersed. Uncle Zhang's wife can only continue to support herself by farming, and her life is more bitter than Coptis chinensis.
For the elderly, not choosing the way of pension is to let it go, which is a negative attitude. In the eyes of the children, it is just waiting for support, which is very disgusting.
First, they have great hopes for their children, but they do not communicate well with their children, and the information of the two generations is asymmetrical and opaque. The greater the hope, the greater the disappointment later.
Second, he has no arrangement for his own property, and always gives it to any child he wants. People who are all seventy years old are still doing eccentric things, bringing internal friction between their children. But the old man was unaware.
Third, when I was in my fifties and sixties, I never thought about saving money, let alone retiring. As a result, at the age of seventy, the family has no property. This is even worse, and it also increases the financial burden on everyone; If poverty continues, the rest of the old man's life will naturally be miserable.
02
It's wise to be prepared to leave in advance.
The elderly do not take the initiative to choose the way of providing for the elderly, it is like a donkey, there are many ideas of eating grass, but they have not put it into practice. Over time, the ending is "predestined".
The ancients said, "Life is made by oneself, and blessing is sought by oneself." ”
Not only do we actively prepare for the material conditions for retirement from the age of fifty or sixty, but we also take the initiative to arrange the rest of the matter when we are seventy years old.
First, who will manage the family's money and how it will be distributed in the future.
When people are old, money management may not be good, and even withdrawing money will be difficult.
Some old people with dementia have lost their money and can't tell clearly. I am also worried that the money will be cheated away by outsiders.
Put the money on the children, leave the accounts, and also check the accounts once when the family is together, and it is foolproof.
There should be a saying about the distribution of the inheritance to avoid children fighting over each other.
Second, among the husband and wife, one of them goes first, and the rest of them will live their lives and which children they will follow. Husband and wife can't walk anymore, but they can still live for several years, how should the children share the pressure of support.
It is very rare for a husband and wife to pass away together. Always think about how to live a life for those who leave behind, and whether they want to find another wife. After making it clear, the rest of the people will still have something to rely on.
Which children do the old people want to follow, or take turns to raise them. It is to speak clearly, and not to hide the words and let the children guess. You know, children are also busy and don't have time to play dumb riddles.
If the children arrange the old man at will and separate the two old people, the old man will not be happy again. Such difficulties should be dealt with before they occur.
Third, medical care and long-term care need to be prepared and won the approval of children.
Birth, old age, sickness and death are common, when the disease is terminal, do you still need to rescue? The elderly should have their own opinions and avoid consuming too much body and money.
If you want to hire a babysitter, or go to a nursing home. The old man himself talks about it, and the children just need to implement it.
Fourth, about the cemetery, it should also be arranged to give the children the last chance of filial piety.
Many old people pay attention to feng shui. Then about the cemetery, it is also possible to choose by yourself. Don't always talk about cemeteries, just taboo and oppose it.
Fifth, in terms of human affection and sophistication, it is necessary to explain clearly, introduce reliable connections to children, and pass on the kindness of the older generation to children.
Many families are worldly friends. The elderly should keep such feelings, especially those who are kind to them, and their children and grandchildren should repay them.
Friendship is a relationship of mutual help and mutual assistance, and it is also a person's kindness, and it also reflects the family style. Don't let your children be white-eyed wolves; Lost the good Samaritan.
03
It has been said, "Life is a journey, enjoy every moment." ”
Different journeys should do different things, and this is the life of "going with the flow".
People are rare in their seventies. It is not easy to live to this age, and you will have to face life and death in the future.
No one knows, accidentally, or tomorrow, which one will come first.
How many old people sleep at night and don't wake up the next day. If nothing is explained, the living will inevitably be more busy.
We can't know how many years we will live, but we can do how to arrange the rest of our lives.
Minimizing the negative impact of life and death on the family is what the elderly should know.
A good family, one generation sends away a generation, smooth and profitable, endlessly.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.