Mr. Yang Jiang said:
Those who care about you will take care of your emotions, and those who love you will share your joys and sorrows. Some people think you're not good enough, and some people think you're good at everything.
Whether it's love or marriage, you need to work hard to manage. A smart way of management will make the marriage last for a long time, and it will not be dull and boring.
Those whose marriages are slowly getting better have done two things right.
One
Know how to listen to the voice of the other person's heart
A reader sister who shared her sweet story with her husband.
She runs a brick-and-mortar store that sells all kinds of cars, and it is very hard to open a store, and the business of the brick-and-mortar store is even more difficult, and sometimes when she encounters difficult customers, it can break her heart in an instant.
Once, she met a difficult customer, repeatedly loaded the car, and tossed until more than 10 o'clock in the evening. Finally, the store was closed, and on the way home, there was another heavy rainstorm. When she came home like a chicken in soup, she also happened to run into her husband who was coming home from overtime. After the man entered the door, he just wiped his body casually, and went down to the kitchen to make her ginger soup. When she came out after taking a shower and changing her clothes, the ginger soup on the table was just the right temperature, and the man looked at her unhappy face while changing her clothes randomly, and took the initiative to ask her if something had happened. When she drank ginger soup and poured out today's events aggrievedly, the man didn't do anything, just quietly listened to her complaints, until the breath in her heart was smoothed and her emotions were completely stabilized, and the man got up and went to wash.
The little sister said that men are her best emotional trash cans, and they are always so warm, every time I think of him quietly listening to what he says, I feel that although life is hard, it is very happy.
There is a sentence in the psychology book "Nonviolent Communication":
Listening is to put your attention on the other person, and it is a concrete manifestation of love.
The poet Rabindranath Tagore also said:
Listening is part of love because when you love someone, you listen to her.
The so-called happiness is to have someone who is willing to listen to your nonsense and spend the rest of your life together. ”
Two
You can see the potential contribution of the other party
If you worked overtime late at night and came home exhausted, only to find your home in shambles, would you collapse instantly? It is estimated that many women will.
But I won't, because of how noble and virtuous I am, but because I can see the truth behind that mess.
My friend Sister Zhou has a happy family that many people envy, and the happiness experience she imparted has alerted many women around her.
She gave an example. One day she worked overtime until 11 o'clock at night, but when she returned home exhausted, she found her son's toys scattered everywhere on the floor, the kitchen sink was full of dishes and chopsticks that had not had time to be washed, and in the bathroom, the dirty clothes that the father and son took off in the shower were piled up with dirty clothes baskets...... It can be said that everywhere you look, it is a mess.
But Sister Zhou didn't complain, let alone pull the man out of bed and make a big noise, but sat down silently, drank the white fungus soup that the man put on the table one by one, and then simply took care of the mess in front of her.
Why is it that a man leaves a room full of dirty work and tired, but he doesn't complain at all?
Sister Zhou said, don't always think about things from your own point of view. He also went to work all day, and when he came back, he cooked and bathed the child, and put the child to sleep. Before going to bed, I turned on the light in the hallway, and remembered to put the boiled white fungus soup on the dining table to dry, waiting for me to come back to eat. Because he knew that I had a bad stomach and couldn't drink ice.
Thinking about this, you won't feel annoyed, you will only feel that this man is your best life partner.
In the "Book of Fu Lei's Family", it says:
When you grow up, you will find that the so-called quiet years are nothing more than the bowl of hot soup at home and the light that is always on for you.
Seeing each other's contributions, you will know that there is no so-called plain as water, only the real years are quiet.
One writer said:
It's easy to fall in love, just a moment of passion, but it's not easy to maintain love, it takes a lifetime of cultivation, what we should do is to break the illusion, more pragmatic, healthier, non-instinctive love.
Love needs creativity and design, marriage needs to be managed and managed, knowing how to listen to each other's voices, and seeing each other's potential contributions is the best way to manage marriage.